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Non-Male Atheists (female / trans / NB / etc.)
If you are an active and open atheist, involved in the community, do you find you face any struggles that men in our community do not? Have you ever found it harder to tell people your an atheist? Have other atheists treated you differently? Anything that we as a community can do to make it more welcoming?Asking bc in active atheism I find I meet way fewer non-males and just wondering if there is a reason I don't see or haven't personally experienced.

lacrossa1013 5 Dec 17

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It is probably that women in general, statistically, like to say that they are religious for all kinds of reasons, fear, desire to be seen as a good little girl, like to be in group, etc

Erik Level 3 Dec 22, 2017

I find it freeing to tell people that I'm an atheist. Yes, you end up having less people in your life. Yes, there are less mates to choose from. But I can't even think about dating a religious woman now. I would get so annoyed. If you are part of a local freethinking community (Oasis is a great one here in Houston, and other cities around the country), you will have a respite from the bullshit out there.


For the most part, I have found that atheists and atheist communities I interact with are far more welcoming, supportive, and caring than non-atheists. I've been given a voice in that people show a genuine interest in hearing my life story, my perspective, and they actually LISTEN.

There are still some who are more arrogant and dismissive, but they are quickly called out by others, unlike religious groups. Its really rather amazing how welcomed and accepted I've felt in a group made out to be harsh, unloving, and cruel.

Outside this community, I've found that people tend to be far more averse to my being transgender than my being an atheist, though both the atheism and gender are readily dismissed as a symptom of mental illness.

And I've seen a huge difference, no matter whether the person is atheist or religious, in how I'm treated if initially perceived as male versus initially perceived as female. When seen as male, I tend to be challenged and questioned more aggressively and seen as an "adversary". Whereas, when seen as female, I tend to be talked down to and treated as a victim or "lesser" in need of help and guidance.


One other interesting possibility for a difference between straight men and straight women is that women might find the idea of an imaginary male friend (God/Jesus) who watches over them and looks out for them and loves them to be comforting. Speaking as a straight man, the idea of an imaginary male friend who watches over me, looks out for me and loves me, is a little bit creepy.

BD66 Level 7 Dec 17, 2017

Totally agree with you, I guess I would have stick longuer with religion if it would have been a woman, especially a cute woman! I know around me women who even fall in love with their priests! and try to get them into their bed or vagina!

At least they can be sure the priest isn't a married man and is hiding that fact from them.


I can think of one possible difference. Men tend to socialize more over sports while women tend to socialize more over religion. You can be an Atheist man in a largely Christian community and still go to Buffalo Wild Wings with the guys to watch football. For a lot of women I know the majority of their socializing comes from attending church on Sundays and their "small group" bible study groups during the week. An Atheist woman would not have those opportunities to socialize with other women.

BD66 Level 7 Dec 17, 2017

Yes and there are probably women who go to those groups even if they are not religious at all

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