I hope to outlive my cat so she won't be orphaned and pay off the $15k or so I still owe my house

I am motivated to see and be in Nature and experience my time and energy. There are lots of things I want to do before I transition, so I am busy planning and doing the things I will do again and planning things I haven't done yet. My list of hobbies keeps growing because I keep seeing things to do. For example, rock painting; why on EARTH would anybody paint rocks, well Im gonna find out for me. It is simply the experience. Might make for a good story later on ?
As for my purpose, I don't know why I have life here and I may never know. The reason I am here is one of my father's sperm met my mom's egg and that is FACT. haha

I really have zero motivation. I do what I got to do but I can't say I feel motivated in a positive manner. I normally am motivated out of fear. Generally speaking, I think there's a lot of people who feel the way I do. I work to keep food on the table and a roof over my head.
I have slight motivation to return to a normal way of life pre surgery days. When hiking wasn't so painful. I would like for my granddaughter to experience the beauty of nature in the unbeaten path.

Keeping alive