Even after talking on the phone, meeting someone new is like a blind date. You never know what you will get.

That's why I drive myself, and meet in a busy restaurant or cafe.

You're not alone. I would probably end up deciding not to go through with a completely blind date too. Take any romantic pressure out of the equation, and it's just two strangers getting to know each other and seeing if any sparks fly and/or a connection is made.

Pretty much had a recent (VERY recent) epiphany that online dating is not for me. I'm here for community and making friends now, but more power and much success to those of you who choose to pursue these opportunities! Good luck to you and I hope you find a special someone. <3

I have in my recent past introduced the 3 tea rule just to give us a chance to shake off the nervous vibes and to really determine if we could have a real connection. We meet for tea/coffee then the 4th meeting is the actual date. My wisdom in my 40s blows my mind. I don't have the same checks or dealbreakers I had in my 20s and 30s. So many people cast away a first date because of something that could be nerves and drool over a first date because of suave and confidence. Spoiler Alert: The nervous ones tend to be more better...YES I said and meant more better. I also require phone conversation before meeting. I ask direct questions in a nice way to learn about anything that has changed since high school. It happens. We should not be so hard on ourselves. Rational people know that humans are flawed and many of us mean well.

I am the same way...but it passes

I always insist on talking on the phone before meeting. Remember: Nothing is real until you meet.

Apart from getting my former mother-in-law loaded on White Russians, the quickest and best way to ruin the fun and good times is to load them up with expectations in advance. I refuse to get all twitterpated over a man before meeting.

Research shows 82% of people post old photos and lie about their age, weight and/or height on their online dating profiles. Here's what usually happens:

I arrive early at a cafe' or restaurant, nicely dressed to honor the occasion. "Kathleen!" I hear. Turning, I recognize no one. My "hot date" has suddenly aged 10 years, gained 50 lbs. and/or lost all his hair. Immediately, I see him as a liar. I got a manicure for this?

As an extrovert, I enjoy meeting people. So, I sit down and engage the man in conversation. If he's badly overweight and out of shape, we're not a match. I try to let down men kindly.

Shared recreational experiences are a bonding experience for couples. That's why I want a man who loves hiking and has a healthy lifestyle.

I won't do that. Maybe after several phone conversations.

I text and talk for at least a few days, if notweeks, before a date. I'm still shy at first but give them that warning. Alcohol helps, so showing up early to get a head start works wonders for me. ?

You seem quite nice. Don't doubt yourself.

You message them, that's your first impression. You talk on the phone, that's your second impression. Once you agree to out on a date, you must've made a favorable impression already.

I agree it is scary and I have all the same problems but I’ve still gone out n tried it a about 5 times now I think, mostly from tinder. And mostly tbh it’s just as bad n awkward as I was fearing but a couple times we actually had fun n saw each other a few more times. Still didn’t really go anywhere or last for long but hey, it’s always better to try than to sit home alone another night wondering why you can’t meet someone. Go try it every time you get the chance, even if it turns out poorly you’ll feel better than wondering what if. You’ve gotta practice socializing like any other skill to build up to a point where you’re keepin it together at the top of your game. You’ll learn how to make a better impression little by little but not without trying n failing a few more times. Hang in there.

That's why the best first date is not really a date at all! I prefer to just meet for coffee. It's relatively quick and inexpensive. Granted, meeting a stranger in any date-like situation can be nerve wracking, but at least the coffee-meet up requires less commitment, and you can return to the safety and comfort of your home within an hour!

That's the advantage of a dating website like this one, that encourages interaction first. You can become friends with prospective dates before meeting them in person.

I understand theses feeling, but sometimes if we step out of our comfort zone we find we can do many more things than we thought. And actually have fun. You go first and let me know how it goes and I may try it. ?