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So. This divorce is 99% behind me. And I want to move forward. To my credit, I think its going well - and I'm keeping really positive. But. I've seen in the last day, the Dingus has been all over my personal blog, and that worries me.

There is ONE thing going forward in the future that makes me REAL trepidatious. That is Dingus' penchant to interfere with people's lives. He has repeatedly tried to sabotage his exgirlfriend's life (trying to break up her engagement or any relationship she's in). He's tried to reinsert himself into others, stalked and bothered people.

I'm afraid of his interference in my life, even though he's the one that left me, he's rejected ME. Especially in any sort of socialization and interaction with the music scene here, because he is KING of that and I am not worthy to be in there. I'm afraid of interference with any SOCIALIZATION anywhere (online, in person, etc.)

I'm so afraid he will start contacting people I know, friends I've made and interfere or sabotage my connections. I've sat here and watched him do it to others for seven years, I don't see his behavior changing. In his mind, I've wronged him, I'm his enemy to be bested.

I don't know if this is paranoia. I've watched him do this for a long, and he did not stop until they almost went off the grid or go underground to where they just disappeared off the face of the earth.

I want to have a good life without him, and I'm willing to not have any contact or think about him or even bring him up ever again, but I'm uncomfortable to think I'll never be off this man's radar no matter what I do.

onlyduh 7 May 30
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11 comments

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0

Move! No forwarding address! Yes, hard, but you have No life right now, or the foreseeable future!

0

WOW good luck sounds like the BS i was dealing with a few years back. My ex went all kinds of postal. I was in and out of jail the past 2 years over made up false charges she would claim. Nothing ever happened to her for making those false claims and for a while it seemed hopeless. id fly to cali for a few months sneak back home to Texas not let many know i was home but next thing you know cops be hauling me to jail for some made up shit... that happened 7 times in 2 years finally the hillbilly DA i guess told her they were going to file charges on her if she did not quit making stuff up and its bean kinda nice the past 6 months....... Hang in there and good luck

1

Hugs stay true...we'll get through this horrible horrible thing

1

Insert name of said dingus here

0

Ouch! What an awful character this person must be? You have only one life to live, onlyduh. Whatever this person chooses to do is his/her decision. It is not yours. Whether this person chooses to do good or bad is his/her decision. It is not yours. The wonderful thing is that you do have 100% control over how you live your life and the decisions you make. If you want to let the fact that you are on his/her radar affect you, then you can. It's your decision. Or, you can be free of the control and bondage of what other people think. That too is your decision.

6

All you can do is the best you can do. You know him. You seem to have picked up on this track of behavior from the past. If he hasn't been called out and treated for it then you can expect it will continue and likely grow, maybe get worse.

If you are really concerned you can warn your friends and family not to talk to him about you or listen to is diatribe. They should know you well enough to recognize your concern, especially if you tell them specifically that you can't be sure he will try to contact them but just in case...because you have seen him do it before with others, just so they are aware.

You can also go to authorities to tell them what's been going on. Ask to speak with someone who has experience with stalkers and then tell them what's up so they can advise you. I suggest you follow that advice "to the T" no matter how excessive or ridiculous it might seem. In fact if you do this it would be a good idea to get a card with a contact number and give it to the friends and family you warn so they can inform the person you talked to. They might advise you do that anyway but it would be important.

I'd also suggest taking some sort of martial art. Personal safety shouldn't be taken lightly and you will feel less paranoid if you can protect yourself. It really is better to be safe than sorry. Please do be safe.

AmyLF Level 7 May 30, 2018
3

Like most bullies, I hope that, if you ignore him, he will eventually just go away.

@onlyduh I suppose sometimes yes, sometimes no. I think most bullies are sane, mean people. I just hope your crazy bully disappears. =]

4

@onlyduh I'd consider relocating.

0

Can't you just block him from all your sites ?

1

Sorry, can't come up with anything to help today. My brain is gone on vacation or something... Wish you luck though

4

i think just think you have crossed a large river, leave him behind even if he comes in front of you just blank him off if he mouths just move on do not pay any attention, don; fuel him or give him any ammunition like they say let barking dog bark eventually they get tired when they do not get any attention Move on you have better in life to think and enjoy new chapter new book new journey new road trip

Rosh Level 7 May 30, 2018
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