I wish I could sometimes, after 20 surgeries head to toe (2 lower back and 12 on both feet) I cannot work, I have no money and the F'n Feds have denied my SS for 5 years now...denial, appeal, denial, re apply, denial, appeal etc...a F'n roller coaster of bullshit to say the least.

@Agr8m8 That's rough . You're stuck . Sounds like you need to plan some alone time and activities , that don't cost anything , as well as some time and activities to help your Mom as well . She may not like having you around all the time either , but she dos it for you , anyhow .

I wish I could sometimes, after 20 surgeries head to toe (2 lower back and 12 on both feet) I cannot work, I have no money and the F'n Feds have denied my SS for 5 years now...denial, appeal, denial, re apply, denial, appeal etc...a F'n roller coaster of bullshit to say the least.

....you are right, thank you for your advice!oxox

Hahaha, I only WISH!...but she is drowning in De Nile....if you get my drift....

No, I wish she had his dough though...then she could hire a nurse, security, chef, handy man and everything else I am for her.

But she carried you nine months and raised you to adulthood....@Agr8m8

@nicknotes Excellent point sir, hence the reason why I am here, doing all this, it does make it tolerable, but not easy. Her and I are a lot alike, artistic, hard working and she is slowing down and getting frustrated with it, AND treats me like I am a 16 kid who is still in HS sometimes....I LOVE her, but most time I do not LIKE her, big difference sir.

@Agr8m8 Welcome to becoming the parent to your parent!

I did this. It was hard. I hope you take some breaks from it and have someone else stay with her.

Thanx for the reply, no she is just ultra insecure, feeling her age and unappreciated (78). I am 52, traveled the world, lived in other countries, open my own businesses, was head chef of a restaurant in L.A. at 23, so not really apples to apples with your son I feel. Although my mom talks too much, but only if you start it, if not she would walk around here all day (eating too GD much) in silence until some one said something, then the robbery set's in. I have told her that conversation is an ART, and much like playing catch with a ball. I throw it, you catch it, hold it for a second, then throw it back and so on, she just takes the ball and never throws it back, sad. I am here as her partial (soon to be more) care giver, as my siblings live on the west coast (as I did but moved here to care for her)

@Agr8m8 I bet she is home all of the time and if not is with you? If you can get out to any senior event she will have things to talk about.

Conversations can get really repetitive if you never get out and do things with others.

My Mom went to Bingo once a week at the Senior Center. She was not in love with Bingo - but the people she had to talk to there? That was a huge plus.

@RavenCT good advice but she doesnt like 'people'... Especially her own age.

@RavenCT Even her so called 'friends' don't hang around, call or nuttin'.....sad really, she is taking in WAY too many calories, she is very over weight which adds to ALL the problems, it's all connected...her self discipline is no where to be seen....

@Agr8m8 All of this sounds like depression or dementia. Unless she was always a complainer? Maybe go to a Dr's appt. with her and bring it up? Sometimes the Dr only sees a smiling patient and never hears about what is really going on.

@RavenCT She had a rough child hood, a bad mom and step dad, married a man she didn't want to, have kids she didn't want. She has been through a lot and have giving up sorta. She has 'controlled' hyperthyroidism, a couple small head traumas, smokes too much and doesn't keep the best diet AND has no friends, so ya, she is depressed. She fights with sugar and breads although she does pretty good as of late, she has trouble sleeping with low oxygen levels due to obesity, diagnosed as sleep apnea. Please don't miss understand me, I LOVE my mom and would do anything for her, that is why I am here, it's just not always fun or easy.

@RavenCT Shout out to my Connecticut "Neighbor"......Spent my first half century in CT (Hartford area); ABQ has pretty good weather. My kids still live in CT so I get out there pretty regularly......Spring and Fall