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Did you find calm when you left religion behind?

Did your level of self acceptance, general health and well being improve after discarding religious connections? I found that fear is the basis of so much faith based thought, and when I let that veil of fear that clouded my outlook years ago, I was able to move into a lighter, happier sense of being and self determination.
Interested in other's experiences.

KittensandSage 6 Dec 25

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23 comments

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6

Calm from within. Chaotic from without due to the reactions and actions of believers.

4

I feel I am getting there. I have always been a free spirit but feel better about myself as a person.

3

In many of the ways internal to myself and my mind, I have been. But in regards to my social sphere, my marriage, family, most of my friendships, and many of my activities are (or recently where) very religious in nature. So, this has certainly put a lot of stress on my sense "outer peace" if there is such a thing. Also, I've just realize how much more complex reality is than I used to think, (both hazardous and wonderful) and that is a little difficult, too.

we are on the same oage there, there are so many things to be responsible for without the external locusof control

3

I felt free. I did have that judgemental monkey on my back anymore.

3

I grew up in a non-religious family. I learned about religion from my religious friends and it never made much sense to me. I do not understand why you would have fear from your religion, I thought it was supposed to give you peace of mind. As I grew up religion was not talked about in the house hold. I was taught to be honest treat people well, do not steal and be responsible for your own actions. I did not learn the meaning of agnostic and atheist until I got in my late teenage years so now I say I'm agnostic but I'm not sure about being an atheist completely because I have only met one atheist in my life and that person made me think atheism was a kind of religion against God. I don't know whether God is real or not but I do not worry about it because I treat people well and try to get along with everybody. If God is so powerful he made me the way I am for a reason and he will take me to heaven. But I believe in science and and the theory of evolution. I believe that God probably 99.9995% does not exist.

dc65 Level 7 Dec 29, 2017
3

Without doubt, when I finally accepted that I didn't believe in all the religious stuff I was fine, I had been in conflict for too long, trying to sort all the contradictions, ie age of universe vs the bible and so on. Then I just accepted:
A contradiction arises when two ideas each make the other impossible. Contradictions don't exist in reality because reality simply is as it is and does not contradict itself. Only our evaluations of reality can contradict each other. If you think you have found a contradiction, then check your premises. Either you're mistaken about it being a contradiction or one of the contradicting concepts has been improperly formed.

3

Immediately, yes

Marz Level 7 Dec 25, 2017
3

It took a while... but yes.

I think the most difficult aspect of leaving religion is that as animals we evolved to congregate in groups and have some innate needs to belong to a group, because instinctually we feel safer in groups, whihc was the survival strategy of the animals we evolved from. Most peopel feel a need to be a part of a group and to feel they have a place in that group. Tht is the one sort of positive thing that religion provides. A sense of community and a sense of belonging and a defining place within the group.

For many people, the hardest part of leaving religion is not giving up belief, but in abandoning the group and our place in it. We feel alone, vulnerable and fear not finding a place within a new group.

If is after we have foudn a new place in a new group or have created a support system for ourselves outside of religion tha the feeling of peace comes for many of us.

I have never been a highly social person and I never once missed going to church for community. But, I understand how that is so for some people.

The most difficult part for me was accepting that my mother was wrong. I had always thought she knew everything there was to know about the Bible. Losing that connection with her was devastating to me.

But, it was worth it because of the peace that came in realizing there is no Hell and there is no god playing favorites, deciding who to bless and who to ignore,

3

Initially it was distressing as I lost family and friends. Later it was a huge relief and I was much calmer and more satisfied with life.

gearl Level 7 Dec 25, 2017
3

Not at first. After a week it felt great.

2

Since I gave up on not believing in bronze age myths and deities, my life has gotten far better. Fear is an emotion that can cause people to make bad decisions and harm others in the process, and most modern day religions use fear to keep members of their cults oppressed.

2

Doubtless fear is used as a tool to 'control lost sheep', hence, 'you will go to hell', 'cast down into a lake of fire' and other such intangible and vacuous threats, thus far unproven to someone asking, 'give me proof'.

2

That's another consideration isn't it depending on how close family is and how much you feel obliged to please them. After all, if they are open minded given that they are mature enough, shouldn't they accept and welcome your voyage of self discovery, further, that that is you right and obligation to yourself towards self-fullfillment.

2

I can only talk for me. To me was not a specific act or moment. It just disappeared. I stopped praying at night before sleep during junior high and grew out of it with the convenience of not being pressure to be on it by parents. There was no church going adults.

2

When I shook off the guilt and feelings of inadequacy that religion promoted, the calm was the result.

2

No, but I love your Fibonacci!

skado Level 8 Dec 25, 2017

😀

2

No. I was never involved enough to be relieved by leaving it.

2

No, in fact make more problems in my life. I was in Jordan so being agnostic that means I am out 90% of the community. and at the same time, we are not a large number and must of us hidden . after I run to Netherland I see the agnostic refuse me because I am Arabian.

people like us we get hate and refuse from all sides even from the non-Arabic agnostic.

Be whatever you have to be to be safe and socially accepted in your community. No offense to you but their fear of Arabians is due largely to the behavior of many muslims there.

For me, ethnicity aside, I'm an outsider of many social circles because I'm not rich and successful. Consider other reasons you may not be accepted.

If anyone doesn't accept you accept it and seek out those who do.

what you saying is like you ask me back to Islam and Arabian world?! let me tell you something first I thing any agnostic how can not know the difference between Arabian and Muslims or who Judged on all Arabian because of the Islam he/she too much stupid to be agnostic and it is better to back to his religion. second, it is the government of USA and UK and other Europian countries who support the Islam to grow up on our land and make radicals leader so if I want to be the same like the must of the western agnostic then I have to Judged over you and take you as an enemy. finally, I am talking about my experience as an experience for agnostic Arabian who suffers because of your governments and you were watching. for what you say about the rich and successful it not go outside the first point " an agnostic must have an open mind and not looking for such like this differences

2

My calm came after I left the religious. Growing up agnostic in an evangelical, fundamental theist family and community was no walk in the park!

THEN I started a wonderful life journey into calmness and serenity. I know its in part natural aging but putting the "need to know" behind me over time has been an integral part of the transition.

1

My journey from believer to atheist took a little over a decade. It was a gut-wrenching, emotionally exhausting, terrifying journey. But, when I came out the other side--I found calm and a peace that I had never known as a believer.

1

I never really was a believer, so I don't have a before-and-after story. But I find yours illuminating and consistent with what I have heard from others.

1

No, exactly. Your attempt to please them would be seen through if they are reasonably astute, nor should you try, as you would be deceiving yourself, and as you mature emotionally, it will not sit well with your conscience. In saying that, for some religions, particularly catholicism, it is made very difficult to swim against the tide of group or family belief, and I don't believe that is good for anyone for any reason.

i never attempt to please them, which, absurdly enough, they see as antisocial. which inherently makes them narcissistic in my book. adios and good riddance to people who think like that. so it is calming.

1

I don't think it was or is calming; it raises more questions that curiosity compels you to pursue. It is invariably perplexing for people who think they know you, which raises self doubt unless they are very well centered, or believe themselves to be, and if you have been convincing in your quest for unanswered questions, it probably should be unsettling for them to the point of re-assessing their own beliefs.

I don’t mind seeking, that is always going on anyway, it does seem to uoset family tho, I can’t pretend to please them, though

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