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Openness with kids

A recent reply from an intelligent, attractive, and younger mom on here has prompted me to ask:

How open are you with your children? What do you see are the benefits of being open with them? How and why would you advise others to become more open? Do you feel that free thinking has made it easier to be open?

cimoore34 7 June 15
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12 comments

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0

My son at age 11 came to me and asked what a queef was. First i asked where he heard it, so i knew the context. He had been watching south park at a friends. I made a mental note to watch every south park so i could be up on things..lol. i kept my poker face and discussed what a queef was in mostly medical terms since my kid is well educated about sexual health. At this tine he asked me if i had ever queefed. I then explained to him that i am always open to discuss any topic with him but that i would reserve the right to discuss my own experiences with some topics depending on their sensitivity. He is now 18 and we are very close and open about subjects and we have always been close because of our ability to talk about so many things with out condemnation. I was agnostic for many years and never wished to force any religious beliefs on my kid. It was his inquiry about god/s and the research that followed those inquiries that finally led me to be athiest.

0

My 7 year old grandson whom I’m very close to is concerned that I’m going to hell as he asked me if I believed in god and I told him I don’t believe in something that doesn’t exist. He’s been going to church and they told him that everyone who doesn’t believe in god is “going to hell”. I can’t believe the extent those religous nuts go to to indoctrinate young children. Maybe someday he’ll see the light.

2

Early childhood education was my major in school many years ago. If a child is old enough to ask about something, they benefit most from an honest, age appropriate answer. I don't openly share EVERYTHING but I will not lie to them if they directly ask me about something.

3

Very open. I try to model the behaviors that I hope to teach them, behaviors that I have found help one navigate this crazy world. I try to demonstrate honesty, authenticity, warmth, patience, courage... As teens, my kids acted aloof, but their actions were a dead give away that they were soaking up all that I ever said or did!

Zster Level 8 June 16, 2018
4

I have always stood by the principal that if my kid was old enough to ask, he was old enough for the answer. He didn't always get all of the gory details, but he got the truth.

I like that approach.

1

Kids are curious. That's essential for learning and should always be encouraged and rewarded.

When my kids were growing up, I tried to answer their questions to the best of my knowledge. I kept the answers age appropriate, but didn't withhold information. In the long run, not only did I encourage their curiosity, but also demonstrated honesty and earned their trust.

How would I encourage people to be open with kids? It's simple some day kids will discover whether or not you've been honest with them. Ask them, "How will it affect their opinion of you to find out that you have lied constantly?"

JimG Level 8 June 15, 2018
1

Just as open as you would be with anybody else. Depends on the subject, the circumstances, the age, etc, etc. But do not lie, that is crucial.

5

I am always honest with the kids in my life. But, how much information I volunteer to them is more dependant on the circumstances and their maturity level.

For instance, any dating I do is kept completely separate from them. If they were to call and ask what I was doing while I was out, I would honestly tell them I was with a friend, but not volunteer more.

On the other hand, I am very open with them about emotions. If I'm angry, I tell them "I'm angry because ..." Or "I'm sad because ..." Or "I feel super happy today!"

I'm moderately open with them about substances. They've seen me drink beer and wine, and I talk about margaritas with my girls around them. But, they've never seen me drunk. The oldest has asked me about which drugs I've tried (the list is short) and I answered him honestly, where I might have skated around it with one of the younger kids.

I can appreciate your approach especially with dating.

7

If you want your kids to be open with you, you have to teach them how it's done. Kids might not listen to what you say, but they watch everything you do, including being open and honest. Worked for me.

zeuser Level 9 June 15, 2018

Too true! My kids at 18 and 21 share a LOT more with me than I ever dreamed that they would! (:

This is very true and excellent advice.

6

Have always been open and frank with my kids.They always liked it.

Coldo Level 8 June 15, 2018
7

Was open with my girls now 22 and 35. Both freethinkers in their own ways.

6

This is a multi faceted question and the answer is completely dependant on the age and maturity of said child and the subject being discussed.

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