Life is difficult right now as I am in a transitional phase. Sometimes unexpected things happen and feelings of hopelessness creep in (I am sure that is true for most people). But, I still love life and have hope for a happy future. I try to live in the moment and make the best of things, and I try to be kind to myself and others. I look for beauty in the world. I work on being courageous and on trying new things. When I try and succeed, I am less afraid.

I'm not sure what you mean by "loving life" but if it means I'm impressed and excited by it, I'd have to say no. It hasn't been worth the time and effort expended, frankly. This life has little to commend itself to any sort of idealist with decent standards.

On the other hand that's not the same thing as saying it's hopeless or uniformly miserable for me. Or that my goal is to be enraptured with it, for that matter.

My main salvation (and, at times, curse) is curiosity. I find life interesting which has nothing really to do with whether I find it compelling.

There are other things one can find life without loving it: meaningful and purposeful, for example. Meaning and purpose don't have to be fun, although it helps if it is.

I usually have said that at any point in my life I am never sure whether to laugh or cry. I've seen a lot -- some of which I'd rather not have seen -- and I've lost alot, but I've also gained alot.

Just to pick a random example, my daughter and I were super close when she was a child, then from when she was around 14 to about 34 it was prickly and weird for reasons she either can't or won't articulate, to the point of near-estranagement for a few years there, then began for no discernible reason to thaw and now has reached some tipping point where we're relatively close again. Probably something to do with neither of us being the persons we were three-plus decades ago. But if life has taught me anything, it's to enjoy it while you can, because people (especially the ones you count on the most) are uniformly feckless and we could be back to icy silence next month for all I know.

You look at something like that and say, was that my concept of parenthood? Was it my hopes and aspirations for fatherhood? I don't think so. From that perspective, it's more pain than the massive responsibility and effort put into it. On the other hand, from the day she was born, I've been gob-smacked by the primal, visceral, fierce love I had for my daughter, and I can't imagine life without her (or the grandchildren she has given me). So ... laugh or cry? I don't know. I just make it up as I go, like everyone else.

Same with my son. We were always close, but then he died suddenly and randomly at age 30. Dropped dead at work. Switched off. Two hours of trying and not so much as a flutter from his stilled heart. That was a less confusing relationship, but because my son had mental health issues, one equally fraught with worry and frustration, just for different reasons. But ... he was always the dutiful son who did everything that I (1) asked of him and (2) he was capable of. Nothing more a father can ask from a son than that. And yet ... he precedes me in death. Just one more 800 pound gorilla in my mental closet that I have to live with. Do I love that? No. Did I love my son, unconditionally? Yes. Was that gratifying and meaningful? Yes. Did I get more out of that personally than I put into it? Depends on how you choose to cherry pick different aspects of the total experience.

So you tell me ... do I love life? I love parts of it, put up with other parts, detest others. But I still put my pants on every morning, just like everyone else. So it goes. It's my view that no one loves life without reservation ... and if they claim to, they're either incredibly lucky and privileged or delusional, or simply lying.

Hi, Timek,

Yeah, I think so. People often wake up and realize what they have, when facing losing it all.

This website has a bit of a learning curve so here is some information that might be helpful.

You earn website points, and help other members get to know you better, when you write an informational profile that includes your hobbies and interests, and answer all the profile questions, since that's the first place many people look when they see a new member.

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Then you make comments and write your own posts to earn more points and privileges; for instance, at level two you can private email people. You get different perks with each level, and when you reach level eight you get an agnostic T-shirt.

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Levels are mostly a way to help identify and reward those who contribute to the growth of the community. The website also gives more access and benefits depending on level.[agnostic.com]

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The Chicken Lady loves life...