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Could you love a child conceived out of rape?

This is a question I’ve been shy to ask for a while now because the topic is so uncomfortable, but I was recently asked by someone could I love my child from a situation as traumatic as that. This was a question that had me thinking for a few hours, actually. The situation would be horrible and traumatic, but at the same time, she/he would still be my child and apart of me so I guess I’d try to raise it with as much of care that I could and bring him/her up to be the woman/man they needed to be. Then at the same time I would think having a child around conceived out such a traumatic situation would probably be difficult cause the child would be a reminder of the whole ordeal that I’d have to relive over and over again so I could probably understand why some women victims of such thing could reject their child. What do any of you think. I hope I haven’t made anyone feel uncomfortable in any way. Leave your thoughts and answers below.

By EmeraldJewel7
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54 comments

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15

I'd abort it. It's not a baby, it's not even a foetus. It's biological garbage left by other biological garbage.

12

I have believed for a long time that the decision to abort, in any instance, should be that of the woman. And that no-one has a right to judge her for it.

@Omen6Actual the time to consider if you want a child is during sex. Wear a condom

@MsDemeanour Or a diaphrm, or pill, or patch...

9

The bigger question for me would be: would a husband love the child his wife had to birth due to a rape from another man, if abortion were not an option?

Great question.... I understand it somewhat and I love my son more then i

What a difficult situation to be in,to watch your wife's swelling belly and know you were not involved in the child's conception,it would put horrible strains on the relationship(I'd think).

9

I could not even carry one to term.

7

My mom had me adopted. Totally understand her choice.

Hicks66 Level 7 June 23, 2018

Wait, are you saying that you were a child conceived by rape and your mother put you up for adoption? If so what an interesting angle to this particular topic.

@Kimbergypsy22 I am indeed. She is or was a staunch Catholic and I owe my existence to her faith. Much of my life drips with irony and close calls.

7

Yes. I couldn't blame the actions of another on an innocent child.

6

I feel for mothers who see the face of their attacker, when they look at their child conceived from rape.

6

No woman should ever be made to carry such a thing to term....and no woman should ever be guilted for not carrying it to term and "loving" it.

This posts reeks of shaming women for choosing to abort lumps of cells that result from a traumatic event.

5

I would have an abortion, even if I had to do it myself. With that said and to answer if I would have to birth such a child, of course I would love it -as any other child. If there was a risk that the father would show up, I would give it up for adoption before I would let the rapist get his hands on that child - though it would break my heart.

5

Yes. The child is innocent!

5

Children don't ask to be born, they are innocent. I think if I carried the pregnancy I would have loved the child. There are too many unknowns to ever know for sure. I never faced that situation and never will, so I don't know. I do know that for the woman in that situation I'd support what ever her decision was/is. It is a heart breaking situation.

Yes, that is taking it out on the child.

5

I'd abort the moment I found out I was preggers.

AzVixen52 Level 7 June 23, 2018
4

A major issue: many state demand the father have "rights" to be involved with the child. This is religious mental sickness.

Better for the child to be aborted that be subjected to this insanity...

Jacar Level 8 Nov 20, 2018
4

The child is not responsible. For it's conception. My own child was conceived off I-75 at the Strawberry Plains Parkway, in the cab of a 1977 Ford pickup truck after a gospel concert. That made no difference in the way I or anyone else who helped raise her eyes even if they knew the details of her conception or not. My personal feelings would be it's not important, just like when many people tried to convince me my daughter might not be mine. I didn't care, I was going to treat her, and raise her as mine.
But I'm not everyone.

Stevil Level 8 June 24, 2018

And I admire you for your love and compassion

4

Is is possible to love a child conceived of rape, yes. Could I, I don't know. There are so many factors involved that you could write a book and still there would be more. Personality, maturity (emotional and physical), family support, and lifestyle would play major roles.

Rape, no matter the circumstance is a violent act and will change the emotional and psychological health of the survivor.

I would like to think that I would love and care for any child of mine no matter the circumstance of their conception. Without the knowledge of the effect of a rape on my psyche and how I would be able to handle it, it leaves me with I don't know.

Betty Level 7 June 23, 2018

Bravely put and taking to put it out there.... Betty your a woman of great integrity

@Millerski25

Thank you for the compliment. Greatly appreciated. smile001.gif

4

I can see where the reminder could easily be an issue. At the same time, that child would easily become a distraction and then I would look at them and look at the innocence in their eyes and wouldn't be able to not love them.

Holysocks Level 7 June 23, 2018

Mr too

4

I have never been in that kind of situation.
This innocent baby is not it's fault, it did not ask to be here. I know someone that was in that situation.
I was with her throughout her pregnancy. She had chosen to give her little girl up for adoption.
Once she held her she was in love. She kept her, she could not bring herself to hate her baby.
Kimberly is 21 and in college.

Wildgreens Level 7 June 23, 2018
4

No, I wouldn't love a child conceived through a rape and would terminate the pregnancy immediately.

PhoebeCat Level 7 June 23, 2018
4

I guess this assumes I'm a woman, but... probably not. Probably gonna abort that thing.

4

Not quite the same as I am a guy.
My foster son is one such child,
and his mother does/did love him- most of the time. Well some of the time.
I think when they are at odds other feelings come through and a lot of resentment.
He lived with me a long time and was estranged from his mother and siblings,
he is 22 now and they are in semi regular contact.
Were I a woman faced with this problem, I would not keep it. Plain and simple.
But a child once born is a child and not responsible.

Rugglesby Level 8 June 23, 2018
3

It is a mental deformity (religion) that would visit the sins of the father upon the child.

Although: I would advocate for abortion to avoid all such future complexity and ostracization.

Jacar Level 8 June 23, 2018
3

Yes, but I could understand the difficulty for the mother. Sad to say the child would def be a reminder of the incident.

3

It happens, but it in no way validates the attack. The attacker should be punished, AND pay childcare, etc, but have no visitation rights.

It isn't the child's fault, of course. The child should be loved, even if adopted out (doesn't let off the attacker for support) and given as normal and good a life as possible.

bwhitten1 Level 4 June 23, 2018

The question doesn’t seem to include the attacker and you just can’t be Mr. Fix it .... the deep emional scares and lack any assemblance of security and the psychic chaos may seem never ending (court testifying bs the attacker may give some empowerment) but the challenge of a pregnancy is emotionally incomprehensible to me

3

Abortion is the most ethical option.

3

It's a child.
Yes.

I equally have no problem understanding how abortion would clearly be an option.

I can’t know what a woman under these horrid circumstances could feel but what thoughts I have are inarticulate

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