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Could you love a child conceived out of rape?

This is a question I’ve been shy to ask for a while now because the topic is so uncomfortable, but I was recently asked by someone could I love my child from a situation as traumatic as that. This was a question that had me thinking for a few hours, actually. The situation would be horrible and traumatic, but at the same time, she/he would still be my child and apart of me so I guess I’d try to raise it with as much of care that I could and bring him/her up to be the woman/man they needed to be. Then at the same time I would think having a child around conceived out such a traumatic situation would probably be difficult cause the child would be a reminder of the whole ordeal that I’d have to relive over and over again so I could probably understand why some women victims of such thing could reject their child. What do any of you think. I hope I haven’t made anyone feel uncomfortable in any way. Leave your thoughts and answers below.

EmeraldJewel 7 June 22
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48 comments (26 - 48)

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2

Neither the mothers nor the childs responsible for the acts of a rapist, so how can one vilify the child and not provide it with support, care and love it needs to become a good human being, whether it is aware of its entry into the world, or not. It is a perplexing dilemma as I know some children born out of wedlock that want to know insistently, whether they were wanted or not, or boldly ask, in some cases, whether they were a mistake or an accident. Skilfull, heartfelt discussion required to assure child why they are loved.

2

The child cannot be blamed for the circumstances that brought it. The question is more a measure of rest of us than it is of the child.

2

Everyone is different. The children born to the Nazi lebensborn programme in Norway were hated by the Norwegians. Humans beings don't always behave nicely.

If this woman was raped, why did she not get an abortion? I hate to think about this innocent child suffering.

2

Hard to imagine that situation without experiencing it. In many cases, a mother’s love knows no bounds. Certainly, my love for my child is not in any way diminished by the abuse of his father. But it’s hard to imagine a child created out of an act of intense trauma and violation.

1

I wouldn't have been willing to go through with a pregnancy that resulted from a rape, period.

1

The answer to that is yes and for some no. My first was from rape. I wish I had had the courage to put him up for adoption for both our sakes. I was so hard on my son. He deserved better and so did i, though it took me a lot of years to believe that I deserved anything good. I ruled out abortion. I never told my family. Or anyone else for over 20 years. The shame was horrific. I love him and I'm proud of him, but I wish I had adopted him to a family that could have given him the untainted love that came with my keeping him.

1

it depends on the person. to me, a child is a child. if the person who was raped wanted an abortion i could certainly understand that. if she wanted to bear the child but wanted the child then to be adopted, i could understand that too. if she wanted to keep and raise the child, i could also understand that, but i could not understand deciding to do so and then hating or at least failing to love the child. there are mothers who are dreadful to their children for no reason at all, so of course it could happen for this reason too. if it were i, and i bore and kept the child, i would love the child.

g

1

This child is just as deserving of love, caring and protection as any other child.

Days of calling out-of-wedlock children "bastards" are hopefully, over.

But the shaming and blaming of rape victims continues across the world, in courts, communities and families.

1

Why would anyone ever punish a child by not showing them love? It is far from the kid's fault and to hold a ridiculous idea that they caused some harm. In my mind would be unsatisfactory to blame a kid for a crime committed by a (with lack of a better word) lunatic.

azzow2 Level 9 June 23, 2018

Why would I love something forced on me through an act of violence? Love doesn't just happen because of a genetic relationship.

@PhoebeCat Would never think that you should. Just do not think the child was to blame or at fault.

@azzow2
Ending an unwanted pregnancy affects no but the pregnant woman.

1

Never been there so I haven't got much to say, except that if you can love a kitten, puppy, foal, etc. you should be able to love any baby. As far as s/he being a constant reminder of the rape - tough to know how anyone would deal with that. If you're the mother, I guess you would have to get around to the mindset that it's yours and you're lucky to have it despite the circumstances of its conception. Might be easier said than done. I would add that I'm only talking about a situation where it's too late for the morning after pill or an abortion. That decision is totally up to the woman and if it was up to me, I'd go with the pill.

1

Of course. My oldest daughter got slipped a micky and had sex at 16. That grandson turned out to be a really cool son.

1

The child didn't ask to be born, they are innocent, and they are part of you, nurtured in your womb, borne of your suffering, emerging from your body as you are racked by childbirth pains, fed at your breast and raised by you in your home. You cannot hate half your DNA more than you can hate the left side of your body. This is the person who will visit you in the nursing home on the day you lie dying, so why hate them?

1

The rape had nothing to do with child, except sperm donation. Penalizing a child for its moment of conception is beyond criminal: it’s cruel and smile minded.

0

If the man were not going to be in the picture and i was sure his family wasnt either, and I HAD to have the yes i could love the , i would not give it up, but if i were in a relationship with someone and we were planning our own family i would probably abort. I don't really know because ive never been in this situation before.

0

I don't think I could have it and if I had to I would give it up for adoption. It would be a reminder of the assault.

0

The answer will vary between women. I think I could but I’ve also never been in that situation.

0

I would never give birth to a child conceived through rape. I would consider the "possibility" of giving birth to a baby only if it was through consensual sexual Intercourse, however.

0

Yes, I have seen women do it when the child looks like the rapists. it sometimes reminds them. The choice to keep a fetus when this happens belong to her, and not a bunch of people pretending to know what it is like and certainly not men that do not know what it is like to ave pre-child be part of your body and eating up your insides.

*Have

0

It would seem that in cases of rape, if the person elects to go ahead with the pregnancy, adoption would be the best option. Not a day would go by that your own child wouldn't be a reminder of what some monster did to you. I'm sure it would be very difficult to get past that, and the child does not deserve to have that weight placed upon their shoulders.

0

The child is an innocent party in the situation. They didn't ask to be a product of rape. If you can't separate the action from the child either a) have an abortion or b) give the child up for adoption.

GwenC Level 7 June 23, 2018
0

That's a tough question. If you knew the rapist and kept the baby, would you constantly be comparing the child to it's father? Would you love it less if he/she resembled the father?

I can easily understand aborting it, but I think there's a strong epigenetic influence on child behaviour.

In many states a father can demand visitation rights.

Ain't hat some shit?

Edit to add link -

[cnn.com]

@BufftonBeotch there are some pretty fubar aspects of life for Americans. I don't know how you tolerate some things.

@Kohelath And in the southern US we have these giant cockroaches called Palmetto Bugs. They are about 3 inches long and they FLY.
But the worst thing is they don't fly well.

So there is this clackityCLAK dying helicopter noise as this spiny leg thing terror lands on your shirt.

GetitoffMe Dance.

0
0

No absolutely not. In that case ,at least for me ,abortion is the only way. With the way these laws are against abortion it's highly likely that my rapist would get partial custody of the kid.

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