It never stops hurting and feeling empty in that spot in your life. Eventually you just...learn to live with it. You'll slowly get back to your life, it'll just always have that spot of empty sadness where they used to shine. The key is to face that head on. Don't numb it with booze and drugs, I've seen too many lose themselves completely to trying to numb the pain. Honor their memory and keep strong. Live as your friend would have wanted you to. Write to them all the things you'd tell them if they were still here and just keep fighting to survive through it.

Over the years I've had many people that I knew die. Most of them died from cancer or some other ailment, so I was glad they passed away, they no longer had to suffer anymore. But when my best friend died. Well it was a hard pill to swallow. I still miss him, and sometimes I still have dreams that he is still alive.

It's hard to know I'll never get to hang with him like we used to. But over time the sorrow has gone away. Not entirely, but I've been getting better with my loss after some time.

I'm emotionally crippled when it comes to death.
Remember the good times, don't live in regret.
Be strong.

First I'm very sorry for your loss. It's something that you never really get over. My ex took his life and it devastated the family. It's best if You have a support group to have people to talk to. I did my best to research suicide because I wanted to understand why he took his life and I read a lot about mental illness as well, so that I would be aware and maybe be able to help others. He suffered from mental illness and had long-term problems and could not really get the help he so desperately needed. My daughter, his daughter joined a support group for survivors of suicide. It is possible to find a support group in your area. Search for survivors of suicide, they can help you. There are people there that have suffered loss as well and they are willing to talk about it, you need to talk about it. Keep reaching out and best of luck to you. Healing and grieving is a long process. If you need help finding links let me know. And like I said I'm very sorry, Hugs.

My cousin committed suicide back in 2016. When it's someone close to you, I don't think you ever really get past it. Although, not to sound cliche, it does get better with time.
In times of trouble, I prefer Carl Sagan or Bill Hicks.
"Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride"

There's no recipe here in terms of how to cope - you just do. You had your friend for 25-years - I lost my brother last July who I had the pleasure of knowing for 50-years. Is our pain different? Quite likely not - but neither is the end result - they're still dead and we're both missing the opportunities to interact with them and hear their voice. The day I learned that my brother died I ended up in the ER - it was an emotional and subsequently biological experience. The doctors put me on antidepressant medicine to calm my anxieties but the medicine only served to amplify my anxiety. I weened myself off the antidepressant and through a bit of introspection, I came to the conclusion that those who have passed before me would want me to move on - to live the best life that I can and be there for my family at every opportunity and doing so honors them. I've helped close to a hundred people trace their ancestry and part of that is visiting cemeteries and that leads to finding many stones in disrepair. I was bothered by this one day and so I called a cousin to ask her how (if she could look down and see this shit) would feel if her stone was left to rot. She said to me that she would be happy because it means that her descendants were looking forward and not looking back. That's how I cope - starting in June of 2016 I lost my best man, I lost my favorite grand aunt, I lost my father and I lost my brother to round out 2017. It was a tough time but I learned to cope because I categorized or compartmentalized each passing. I was the beneficiary of my Great Aunt's wisdom, I got to appreciate my father's wisdom and how he stood by his comments by saying "I got no back door. I appreciate my best man because even at my lowest points - he made me laugh. When it comes to my brother I appreciated how he challenged me to reconsider my world views. He was rarely successful but I certainly appreciate the attempt. All of the above helped me to cope because they gave me the best they had and looking forward, it made me a better person and richer for having them in my life. If I became a better person - jury is still out - then I honor their influence - if that makes sense.

This is always a very rough thing to go thru, you pretty much have to remember the good times with them how they made you feel. Its sucks like people are ignoring you that aint right. But just try and remember them in the best way you can. I went thru this in February a good friend of mine passed away, he was only 40

I am so sorry for your loss. My best suggestion is to find a way to honor his life. Support a cause that was important to him, volunteer for a suicide prevention hotline or organization, support someone he loved.

I have only had to deal with a friends death due to natural causes. Suicide adds a deep layer of complexity.I don't lightly suggest therapy and in no way mean you are ill but the complexity of the issue might demand professional objectivity, When my other friends died I took it hard too and had to take things step by step an day by day

I have dealt with this, Mike. It was a long time ago and it still stings from time to time. What helped best during the worst times of thinking about him was to try really hard to keep my mind in the present. When I thought about the past I was devastated and thinking about the future was depressing so I immersed myself in present projects and time with friends. I think people might have a hard time approaching you because they just don't know what to say. If you need to talk you can initiate conversation and that will help them help you. I am so sorry this has happened.

You process, you grieve, you learn to live with this new reality. It takes time but it gets more manageable as you realize that person is going to be a part of you for the rest of your life. Eventually you will look back and remember, and smile.

For now, grief Counseling. The first step is always the hardest but people who went through it were glad to have someone to talk to about these things for a while.

You have no choice but to grieve.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and for the pain your friend was suffering. And I apologize for the people who are ignoring you. Our society is woefully inept when it comes to grief so they probably don't know how to speak to you. Add to that the misguided belief that suicide is a shameful thing and they struggle even more. I found a small support group worked for me, but feel free to stay or leave them depending on your comfort level. And, of course, you have the support of this community. Feel free to pm me if you feel the need to chat.

Grief is what brought me here. I was in a couple support groups but that damned god shit kept coming up. I needed to find reflection without that.

Sorry for your loss, I know it's cliche to say but it is true and honest. I know the pain death brings.

Unfortunately, unlike the old song suicide is not painless.

So sorry. One of my best childhood friends committed suicide when she 27 years old. She was also my first cousin. It took about three years to stop driving to her house to visit. I'd turn onto her street and then it would hit me "She's not there. She died." Hardest pain I've lived through. Especially painful because she took her own life. The only advice there is, though cliche, is that time does lessen the pain. Only the passage of time makes the loss more and more bearable. Talk to someone willing to listen. That also helps as the time passes.

Slowly, very slowly !

I went through it 2 1/2 years ago. I don't know that I have any good advice. I drank myself numb for the first couple months. The hurt never goes away, but it gets easier to cope, over time. Sorry for your loss.

Super tough right?! Sorry to hear it...lost my bff since 1st grade just 5days before his 40th...it was totally crae and certain songs just really bring it all back :/

I lost my best friend of 45 years three years ago. I was devastated. We talked every day and went most places together. My husband died and then her husband died. We got each other through all that. I shut down too. ...and people kind of left me alone. I had my family to help. Having to cope with the loss is awful, especially because of the suicide. Coping gets easier. Wish I could help. I’m sending good energy your way. Just remember, he had the right to do what he did.

It is always going to be tough. We all going to check out of here. Some will choose to leave. Being away from the land I grew up had buffered me from their conditions or suffering so I hear by phone of their illness or their demise. I lost my first best friend at age 11, so I been prepared to acknowledge death as the last destination for everyone I met. I hope you recover, just lost one in November, brother in law... first voice I heard in the morning, last voice I heard at night. Tough on my sister. 3 weeks of illness and gone. I don't miss his driving as a maniac endangering all in the car though. And to think his mother babysitted me when I was a todler! You got one more reason to live for.

I'm sorry for your loss. Everyone grieves differently so whatever helps you to cope is what's best. Try to find solace in the fact that your friend is no longer in suffering, and in the words of Sagan, his atoms are now going back to the stars where we all came from.

Yes, I have. A friend at work left work, went home, and took his life. I was the last person to see and talk with him. I took that hard. As he was well known, work provided a service for the employees. It was religious (as was my Mother's), and I don't believe in gods; but the catharsis both of these services provided helped me resolve my issues with their deaths. I didn't care that they were religious, that doesn't bother me, but sometimes they can provide what others can't. Find someone and talk to them.

Grieving takes sufficient time and you should allow yourself as long as it takes. Time does not heal, it simply makes the loss more bearable.

My sister committed suicide June 1st of 2014. It was early in the morning before anyone else woke up. It was the worst day of my life by far; she was my closest friend.
When she died everybody worried about me because I didn't show any signs of grieving for a few days. Then, when I finally broke down, I cried... a lot. I think at one point I cried for well over an hour. I had to drink a lot of water to replace all my tears; it was surprisingly dehydrating. After a few days or a week, I don't remember, I felt like I couldn't cry anymore. I was still sad, but it was as though my body wouldn't let me shed any more tears; I was spent. After the funeral, things seemed pretty unreal. Everybody went back to their normal lives. Whenever I'd meet new people or talk to acquaintances I'd think "this person doesn't know." It gave me an empty feeling. I was going to college at the time, so I also had to go back to my life and try to finish my work. At some point I transitioned into working on a masters degree; every time I started to think about my sister's death I pushed it out of my mind and kept working. Whatever you do, don't do that. At least not only that. After about two and a half years of ignoring my feelings on the matter, I gradually slipped into a pretty terrible state of depression; partially brought about by burnout from school. I stopped going to school; fortunately for me I was doing thesis work so I didn't actually have to go to classes and my thesis advisor was exceptionally understanding and supportive. Had it not been for her I would have absolutely failed out of my program. For the most part I stayed in bed and didn't leave the house. I tried watching youtube videos, vines, tv show, movies... anything to distract me from how I felt. Eventually, I realized that I wasn't going anywhere; I couldn't permanently distract myself from how I felt. It's hard to describe what I did to change; maybe it was just the passage of time. People may tell you "you have to take the time to grieve." It's true. You really do have to set aside time to sort through how you're feeling and come up with some way to cope in your own mind that works for you. It sounds like maybe you're just finishing up with that part of grieving.

My advice to others is take the time to grieve; for me, among other things, I went to the park and looked at trees and the sky. I went to her grave. I went to other cemeteries and just walked around. I thought about my sister and the memories I have with her. I tried anything I could think of that I thought might help me work through my thoughts. I also went to see a therapist; it is immensely helpful to talk things out with someone. I suggest you keep trying to find someone you can talk to; maybe it'll be someone on this site. I'm sure the whole process is different for everyone. Mixed in with all of that, I mostly stayed in bed for about six months. It sucked. In general, I've also heard that it's good advice to not worry about 'putting a time-limit on your grief'. I still miss her. Every once in a while my dad will have a moment where the grief gets to him and he needs to take a time out to go for a walk. I'm the same way. In general it happens less often as time goes on, but I will always remember that day.

I guess part of my advice is that things will be okay someday. While I was depressed, it seemed like nobody cared about what was happening. I think most of my family was going through their own grieving process; so they weren't feeling talkative about it either. Some of them still try to shut down any conversation when she's mentioned. One of the things that annoys me A LOT is when my religious relatives tell me I'll see her again. I just smile and say "thank you for your kind thoughts" or something along those lines.

It does get better. I will always remember my sister. Fresh memories are always the easiest to remember, so for a long time, I could only remember times when she had been sad. As time went on, it got easier for me to remember times when we were happy together. I don't believe in anything supernatural: gods, heaven, hell, etc. But I do believe that my sister did a lot of good in the world, there are a lot of people that still miss her, and THAT will live on for a long time.