I don't agree it's a waste of time trying to please a spouse. Also, it's okay to treat yourself and not be codependent. As a single lady, im completely happy. Must take care of yourself as well

That was why we got married, but it has to work both ways.

No, I gave up on that decades ago. Now he might be able to make me happy by giving me a quick divorce.

No

What? No!

No idea what Will Smith was saying as it wanted me to install an app to play it.

But to your question — I'd never expect any person to take responsibility for 'making' me feel anything... They have their stuff going on, I have mine. How I feel about their actions comes down to my own mental filters. My partner can be a dreadful arsehole at times (as can I), but I take a step back and consider what's going on in her experience at that time before I react or take it personally.

...Hasn't always been that way, but I've developed the skills over the years we've been together, and now it makes for a much happier state of mind and a calmer relationship.

I don’t count on her, but she says and does things that are conducive to my happiness.

She does

When I was married - if I counted on that I would have been constantly miserable. I took care of my own happiness and I guess I still do. What really sucks is when they think it's your job to keep them happy.

Well , she did.. she left !

No

OHHHH, no! We're all responsible for making ourselves happy. I'd never put that burden on someone else.

No way! That is giving away my power and putting an unrealistic expectation on my partner
I'm one of those who thinks we're responsible for our own happiness.

No one can "make you happy". You can choose to be happy regardless of the circumstances.

Yes. We're very happy together.