A part of me feels like I "should" be doing something on the 4th. Even if it's maybe just meeting a friend for dinner. But no one's around, and I've also been quite tired. I like to have plans, but sometimes I'll do something more because I'm relieved I don't have to be alone, and when I do that I don't even enjoy what I'm doing, even though I may work very hard to convince myself otherwise. I don't want to do that anymore... In past years sometimes I would try to go see fireworks or take part in some other sort of "celebrating," but I would just get worn out and discouraged, and the weather would be so hot it would also wear me down... Have to get past this idea that there's something wrong about spending a holiday doing something quiet and even being alone, because there's really nothing wrong with it... At one time maybe perhaps, when I was a loner, but not anymore... I may just call some friends tomorrow -- even if they're all out doing something, that's fine.