Islam is a dangerous religion and the most problematic one out there today as it advocates hate and terrior. My advice would be not to confront her about her religion if you want to keep her as a friend because unfortunately if you do confront her it will likely be the end of your friendship.

Hi Talia, it's been quite some time after this post of yours. How's your relationship now with this friend?

Explain the "no-true-scotsman" fallacy to your friend.

My daughter is Jewish. This is not a question of belief but of race. The mum is Jewish and thats how it goes. She 21 and an atheist. Whilst she respects her culture and history, she rejects the religious part of it. This is mostly due to its subjugation of women.
You could explain to her that whist you respect her roots and insights into Islam. It is historically at the same age as Christianity was in the 16th century. With all it`s inherent sectarianism and violence and that you totally reject any doctrine that automatically makes you (as a woman) a 2nd class citizen.

Obviously she feels very defensive about this faith that her family , if not she also, belongs to. If you want to keep her friendship, stop talking about religion. If she brings it up, tell her kindly, that talking religion makes both of you upset, and that it is eroding your relationship. If she wants to keep your friendship she will stop.

Just be real with her. Be cool about it, and don't use a dick time. If y'all are really friends, then it'll survive any differences of opinion.

Just be real with her. Be cool about it, and don't use a dick time. If y'all are really friends, then it'll survive any differences of opinion.

Don't attack Islam in your criticisms. Attack religion generally, for its oft-abused power to blind adherents to obvious realities. Attack misguided believers who cloak obviously indefensible actions in the noble-seeming mantle of religion.

Also understand that your friend has been through experiences, both in Bosnia and the U.S., where her identification as a Muslim has resulted in receiving some very bad treatment. It's not surprising that she'd be defensive about it. Remind her that you accept her as a friend because of who she is as a person and the value you put on your shared experiences, and that this would remain true regardless of how she identifies religiously. Try to understand, in other words, the degree to which her attitude is a defensive reaction to bad treatment she's received in the past. Don't patronize her about that, but do understand and accept it because that's part of her story as a person.

Alternatively, if this doesn't work, then tell her that this is something that you and she simply don't agree on. You want to remain friends with her and to help make that happen, it's going to be important to avoid the subject of religion altogether. That's a last resort if she doesn't back down, of course, because from there your final step is to terminate the friendship and it doesn't sound like you're prepared to do that.

I don't think you should have to bite your tongue with her. As long as you are explaining how you feel without being arrogant or degrading she should be willing to hear you out and respect your opinion. If she is so thin skinned that she gets upset then good riddance.

I have family who converted to Islam and the rest of my family is southern baptists (imagine how fun get together are when you’re non heterosexual, agnostic, Poly, and covered in tattoos ????) and they say similar things like about terror attacks. I realize their religion can be pretty harmful if interpreted wrong but to me Christianity is the same way. If she brings up religion to you just ask that it be a topic to avoid. I hate religious debates because I see so many harmful ideas in both Christianity and Islam so I avoid it like the plague.

If she was a true friend you could let her know about your feelings... so tell her and see how strong your friendship is.

I have one friend. He is Seventh Day Adventist, which is a pretty crazy sect. I openly deride religion and call it silly. He in turn criticizes my thoughts. If we couldn't do that we couldn't be friends. I think you should express yourself in a to thing own self be true sort of way.

Talia, I suggest this book - A Manual for Creating Atheists [Peter Boghossian] - It helped me be less argumentative and learn to ask questions. This helps the people you love see the problems with their beliefs for themselves. I got the Audible version read by the author. Hope this helps.

It can be difficult to encourage objectivity in others. the biggest issue is perhaps the seperation of the self from the majority: one dickhead with a gun does not represent the community as a whole. A defensive attitude is a reflection of a perception of persecution: does your friend feel pressured, as a theist?

I told a friend of many years to sling his hook because he kept preaching

sad too hear thir are other true friends you must have , may be be better too move on sometimes new friend don't want too become friends when you have a friend with thir thoughs on life.

As an Orlandoan with a few friends in that community, I don't think "religion" was the real factor in the pulse shooting, but self loathing homophobia that was exacerbated by religion. Couple that with the teasing of his co-workers and government meddling in his life due to false claims of terrorist links being investigated seriously, it makes sense that his self loathing rage manifested in a public and destructive way. It'll take alot of serious evidence to convince me he has any link to any terrorism or that he did it to send some religious message.

As a brown man I look into these things pretty seriously so that I can defend myself against slurs and idiots. Pulse hit particularly close to home as I was driving through downtown Orlando on the highway at 3AM that night and saw about a dozen cop cars from western counties streaming in. Then seeing that the shooter was a brown man born in NY a few miles from where I was born and that he'd randomly wear a Yankees hat like me. He also scoped out an east coast gay club where my friend DJ'ed.

I won't defend islam... same bucket.

All ridiculous ideas deserve ridicule. To bash another religion and call it out on its atrocities while ignoring the trespasses of her own religion is intellectually dishonest and hypocritical. Do show compassion for her, she's probably struggling with the cognitive dissonance that her situation causes, but don't pretend you don't have serious, well-founded issues with what she's espousing.

Most religious people of course think that their religion is what they believe. So if she is a Muslim and sees the (for her) good things in Islam, clearly, it is hard for her to see how a terrorist who kills innocent lives could be a Muslim.
Objectively of course, both, the terrorist and your friends are "proper" Muslims. they just chose to use an irrational believe system in very different ways.
I oppose all religion and I am probably more and antitheist than atheist but I still think it is wrong to think that religions are some specific static constant believe system. that is not how it works -- there are endless variations, sects, subgroups, cults, and personal interpretations of each religion and to generalise over all people who call themselves Muslims or Christians or Hindu etc. would just be silly and damaging.

Most so called terror attacks are government organised designed to scare and control primitive being's aka us! So i'd not go attacking people for defending their race there's most likely some truth in what she's saying! The war on terror is a creation to sell wars that's all! If you want a better understanding of her religion you'll have to do some reading! I was born christian and to date Christianity has a lot to answer for!...

I have the same problem with some of my friends as well as family. I think you should approach gradually, one step at a time, and if you care about her, be as respectful as possible. I was brought up Roman Catholic, and I didn't see the light all at once, and I imagine it's like that for most atheists. It was a very slow process of me reasoning and thinking. I find that chipping away a little at a time works, and I see a difference in my friends and family when they talk about religion. Don't expect an immediate change, but if she's fair minded and thoughtful, truth will eventually have an effect. Good luck!

Distance yourself from this person. Physically, as well as emotionally. Do not leave a forwarding address.
Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay there.

Seems like you're between a rock and a hard place

If you want to keep your friendship avoid discussing religion with her. On the other hand if it bothers you that you can't have an honest discussion about her religion with her then let her go. I had to let one of my best friends of 30 years go when this wild and crazy girl lost everything and dove into the Catholic Church. Her whole life revolved around her church-she wanted me to come to see her minister-I couldn't do it.