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Men/Women, Is sex a requirement for an enjoyable romantic relationship?

I have a friend that I grew up with who's been married for more than 30 years to her husband. She's mentioned that sex in there marriage is "a lot" if it's once a month. Which is to say sex is not a common activity in their marriage. They seem committed to one another and seem to love each other. They are very religious Christianish type folks. I must say however, that in family pics posted on facebook her husband, a late-fifties gray-haired Caucasian man in a suit, appears to have a barely noticeable half-sided "smile" with a what appears to always be a slightly dissatified countenance. He reminds me of a man secretly addicted to porn while being a church minister type. I wonder if a virtually sexless marriage with a person you love is common or acceptable to men or women. I find this topic interesting because I believe that the expression of love is most profoundly comminicated sexually. That is not too suggest that I don't realize there are an infinite number of ways to express romantic love however. What do you think about sexless marriages or sexless romantic relationships? Are they feasably potentially satisfying and healthy?

LilAtheistLady 7 July 8
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78 comments (76 - 78)

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The old pennies in the jar story is quite true..most cis hetero men lose much of their sexual interest in their bride after two years and the sex frequency drops dramatically.

Then there are people who are on the asexual spectrum. In my case, I'm demisexual, so I do at least feel sexual attraction after a prolonged courtship of over a year. And even then, it's just for one person, and I can take it or leave it.

But when I did indulge, my strong libido and capacity for play and variety intimidated cis hetero men, who seemed to prefer "rabbit love" - as quick as possible, which most cis hetero women seem to prefer..

Thank you for answering this question in such an honest and thoughtful way. I learned from you.

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I can only speak my own personal experience... I was married 19 years. Divorce was because my infidelity... Me and my wife then were a perfect sexual match... Sex was the last thing to leave and simply because when we decided to get divorce because is what she wanted... I found no point in sex with her anymore. My infidelity was not based on looking for something I couldn't get at home... My infidelity was the way I was... regardless who I had at home... I would had done it anyways because I am an Asshole to many women on earth. I never had a mistress and something I wrote while I was on an unaccompanied tour in another continent was what got me in trouble with her. That's how life turn out sometimes. I always been a Romantic. Always will be. I could have romance without intimacy but... what's the point? Marriage couples can set up all kinds of rules or conditions to continue what they have undisturbed... I am not going to judge them.

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Maybe she doesn't find him inviting anymore. Not wanting sex with someone isn't necessarily indicative of a low sex drive.

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