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The fact that there are more women joining this site gives me hope. I live in the Bible belt, and I'm surrounded by women who are seeking "a man of God" or "someone who puts Jeebus first".
-Like seriously, there are a lot.

Because I see it so much, part of me was starting to wonder if maybe women are just biologically predisposed to seek out religion, and just adhere to it without question.

So, I raise my glass to you free-thinking, smart, brave women.
Welcome to our growing community. 🙂

MuzikDan 5 Jan 4

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26 comments

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14

I'm on the fence with this post. At first glance there was appreciation. Then I felt belittled by your statement -in that- your perception had been very narrow and generalized women. Then I felt a bit sorry for you as it appears you've never experienced conversations with intelligent women, that you've never experienced a dynamic female version of your supposed equivalent intelligence. In my opinion, no one, not women or men, are predisposed to religion. It is a learned behavior from conditioning. It can also be unlearned.

Good luck in your search, I truly hope you find what you are searching. This site has an awesome community of intelligent people. 🙂

I agree he did generalize. Not a good practice. However, I didn't feel belittled by what I see as expressing frustration.

You made many assumptions about his experiences based off that one statement and I don't see that that is any better than generalizations.

I also agree with your sentence "...not women or men, are predisposed to religion. It is a learned behavior..."

I think when people ask each other questions, much can be accomplished in communication.

My thoughts exactly, @MyLiege, thank you!

😉

@BlueWave Thanks for your input. Duly noted. 😉

@MyLiege You seem a remarkably intelligent woman, as I could never extrapolate that much information about an individual's entire romantic history and complete interactions with the opposite sex from just one post. That's amazing! Though my post was intended to be a statement of hope, gratitude, and encouragement for anyone who might feel the threat of persecution from their family or peers for coming out or being a part of this community; not one of any malice, as you seem to have derived.

I can only speak on my experiences and interactions in my immediate vicinity. Your city may have a different demographic of women in demand of a man of a certain creed, of that I do not know. I am only privy to the experiences within my city. Perhaps you have some evidence which would show that Spartanburg, SC has a larger secular female populous than currently on record? That indeed, would be wonderful news.

I appreciate your pity, but fear not. You'll be happy to know that I've been lucky enough to encounter some very intelligent, witty, and keen-eyed & sharp-tongued women whom, I'm not ashamed to say, were smarter than me in many ways. Though, one's "supposed equivalent intelligence" doesn't always make any pair of individuals immediately compatible, considering the many variables involved in a serious romantic relationship.

This is indeed an awesome community. It's wonderful to see so many uplifting and encouraging people, without worrying about persecution and condemnation from the righteous just for phrasing things differently or using unapproved verbiage. Wouldn't you agree?

11

Secular women often face backlash online from secular men when they write. Misogyny isn’t alien to this community (haven’t noticed it yet on this site but have experienced it elsewhere). So, yes, there are many women who are secular/atheist/agnostic/freethinker/whatever but maybe they have a harder time speaking in the community. Also, there are a lot of religious women...but I don’t think it’s because of gender, rather enculturation. There are a lot of religiously oriented groups for moms, kids, families and there are virtually none that are secularly oriented. There are practical reasons, not just philosophical reasons for women to be religious.

The best comment so, far. The pressure is on women far more to be religious after all they are supposed to be the mother for the next generation of christian. Christian men cannot be fruitful and multiply with a woman that is going to be raising a bunch of free thinkers.

@HeathenFarmer also - she probably not as likely to raise "a bunch"

@evergreen , another good point

9

LOL I get that around here from the men... They seek a woman who puts the sky fairy first in their lives...

I was about to post the same sentiment. It's part of the reason I've given up trying to meet anyone. There are other reasons, but that's a big one.

7

I think there's more of us - women and men - out there than we think. The internet is doing us a favor !
But yes, I still see folks looking for "god fearing" , "church going" , "lovers of Jesus", "people of god" - blah blah blah. I thank them mentally, for putting out that info early , so I know to not bother!

7

Well there brother.... here's something to think about.
Watch "Rodney Carrignton Marriage" on YouTube

That is some funny shit right there.. omg.. lol thanks for posting..

ROFL.... LMAO..... Hahaha! Thank you! That made my day!

@BeeHappy Enjoy this one too:

@DUCHESSA LOVE IT...THEM!!! Two completely nontheist lists of reasons I never married!

7

Thank you! I consider my self brave, by stating what I feel, not being what they tell me to be! And being born in to muslim family makes me even more rebellious!

6

Hell ya.. toast to the women that are free from brain washing, have mind of their own, don't need invisible gods to make us happy, can carry on a conversation without saying.. let go and let god.. 🙂 But I have to say, non theist women are experiencing or have been through the same crap when it comes to dating. Now there is a glimmer of hope with this site for sure. 😉

I gave up dating men when I realized that most of them my age want to date someone my daughter's age. Who needs that?

@ReadyforaChange No every man is an idiot who thinks dating a much younger girl will help him "to get in shape".

5

I am here in the Holy City - Charleston sc. Most of the men I come across are put off to hear that I am agnostic.

Did I hear a pun? 🙂

5

Oh thaannkks. I see so many men and women that say they are a child of God on online dating sites and it makes me want to bash my head in. Like, Oh you like the same things I do and I find you attractive! But oh... you're a child of god and you're quoting things from the bible. There goes that attraction! RIGHT OUT THE DOOR.

When I was on dating sites, up until about 1 year ago, MANY women were looking for a church going man. And of course that eliminated a lot of them. I asked many what they were doing on a dating site then ....just find a man who's already in church! Evidently there aren't any, or many to pick from. OP isn't far off in his observations if you ask me

5

In Spartanburg you are caught in the swirl. I escaped SC years ago for that very reason.

4

I lived in Spartanburg for 15 years, and men were like that, too. Looking for a "godly woman." I'm starting to wonder if maybe men are just culturally predisposed to seek out submissive women they can have the rule over. (Gen. 3:16) 😉

Now, I live in Mississippi, and guess what? Men here want a "godly woman". You're not alone, but at your age, you have a better chance of finding an unbeliever. Millianals are the least religious.

Cheers. 🙂

Welcome to the group.

3

I fully understand! I’m in Texas. The Panhandle. Where everything makes it about 10 years after the rest of the country has caught on. Guns and religion are the two things that are constant though.

I’m even a part of an atheist group here and we are not many in number. We rarely get together. I’m one of half a dozen motley singles. All of us are friends and we are too variant in age or sexual orientation to date one another.

Eventually someone will come along that will spark something.

3

Dude...get out!!!

Having lived in Spartanburg (roughly 95-00, finding my best job prospect there to be close to family in Greenville and Greer) , I feel your pain.

I was in the "heavy metal community" though. Where ever it is regularly played there are plenty of nontheist women, or at least those who are more ambivalent towards religion.

The UU church attracts these as well...I just didn't really care for their general "all religions are real...in a way" mentality. Pagans and others who disagree do attend though.

Sadly, women...and men...are the way they are there because of generations of indoctrination. There are definitely better places you could be!

2

As quickly as that appears to drain the pool of available women, it definitely saves time sorting through them.. Shit, back in the eighties when I’d show up at our local atheist meetings (downtown Portland OR), there’d be uncomfortable intellectuals, aggressive activists, nerds & dweebs -- 90% men… If a woman appeared, she’d likely have the social graces of Madalyn M-H…

Most societies expect women to be subordinate, so their trained as such. Less confrontational or physically capable of fighting back, most tolerate it. Religion of course expects that, but generally provides social structures within it for women to gain prominence among each other. Having become ‘an authority’ of sorts amid their religious community, most find a sense of power they hadn’t in general society. They’re very reluctant to give that up, ushering their daughters into the same mold...

That said, if I’ve a claim to fame, it’s having raised a couple of charming female atheist warriors-in-waiting 😉

Varn Level 8 Jan 4, 2018
2

I've been looking for a "man of God" for a long time. Of course the God I'm talking about is Adonis.

2

Hopefully these two Atheist groups in your state can help you.

Siouxland Freethinkers, Sioux Falls

Black Hills Freethought,Sioux Falls

he is in South Carolina a much scarier place

@btroje Sorry, I clicked on the wrong state: Here is SC

Freethought Society of the Midlands, Columbia

Greenville Non-Theists

Myrtle Beach Humanists & Freethinkers

SC Humanist Families Meetup

SC Freethinkers Meetup

Secular Humanists of Lowcounty

Secular Humanists of the South Carolina Midlands

Upstate atheists Philanthropic missions

Upstate atheists meetup Charity beyond belief!

2

Hear hear. May the Force be with you.

1

Thank you for the welcome. Having been accused of "eating my children" on another site 🙂

Appreciate the well intended comment, and look forward to getting to know the community better.

1
1

I see the same thing daily.

0

What I have experienced (and this is just my empirical 2 cents) is that I have dated women who believe in and I am in a -term relationship with a believer (Muslim) now. Personally, I have found that a woman that is more cosmopolitan, i.e., born outside the US or traveled extensively, tend to be much less rigid on my acceptance of their . Now the extreme attitudes I have experienced women who were more "culturally compatible" taught me a lesson. winded way to say, look outside your "normal" setting (if that is the case) and you will meet some amazing women. As a atheist, personally, I would not even waste time with a woman that is wrapped up in their .

0

You’re lucky. I currently live in the Philippines but is an Australian as well. Church bells ring several times a day especially during weekends. Religious advertisements are on billboards, television, radio, media etc. Imagine the shit I have to go through. The only thing that’s keeping me here is my mother. I will never marry a religious woman and expect to return and die in Australia. I’ve been following a lot of Atheists in the USA and I know there are a lot of non-religious women in the USA. ?

0

The same can be said if men on dating sites. Even men that define themselves as in-religious still value very traditional roles and fall into predictable stereotypes

0

I live in Charlotte, about an hour from you. If you're willing to range a bit, Charlotte is a very diverse and cosmopolitan city.

0

I never will understand religious people who want their partners to "put God first" before themselves or their family or taking care of other humans...or even other animals. I am in the here and now on a place called Earth with more tangible things (quantum mechanics and philosophy are another story) in front of me that need my immediate attention. An all powerful God can take care of himself (all powerful is debatable though). It also raises the question of God being so selfish and egotistical that he needs all of our attention and praise. That's another topic though lol

Oh and I don't think anyone is biologically predisposed to seek out religion. Maybe to seek out truth and/or meaning, but not religion. Religion is man made. Adhering to religion without question? No. I think women are biologically predisposed to......and I might take some shit for this statement.......be submissive in a way (not entirely), even if only subconsciously.

Depends on the woman I think but I realized in myself I am the bossiest person you will ever meet. And I do not go for anyone who is gonna get in my face and give me attitude. But if I get into an argument with someone I am with and they use a stern ass dominate voice it feels like I shrink down in size. I've no idea why. Because it's the complete opposite of who I am. Like yes, I do not mind taking care of you but you will not speak to me that way or treat me disrespectfully. But if they have that alpha like quality I shrink down to a fucking chihuahua size. I don't like it so I am trying to overcome it. But perhaps it is good because it's my subconscious telling me you're going to get your ass knocked out with that attitude of yours so shut the hell up! Lol!

@AccursedHalo I don't think a man should hit a woman no matter what they're arguing about, or even if she's cursing the shit out of him. If the woman tries to harm me I will constrain her, but I'm a pretty big guy at 6'2" and 280 pounds. I wouldn't hit a woman I know or care about lol. Any woman in the street that tries to hit me can get slapped though. A woman I know or care about could hit me with a steel chair and I wouldn't do anything. I might get some shit for that too, but it's how I feel. Some people think it's unimaginable that a guy would hit a woman who is trying to possibly crack his head open. Fuck that lol

@Piece2YourPuzzle I wasn't talking about being hit. They hit me, all bets are off. But I agree. A woman should not expect that a man won't hit her. If you are trying to physically harm anyone, the other person has all right to defend themselves no matter if you are a man or woman.

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