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What theories do religious people in your life present for your agnosticism/atheism?

I went to Bible college, then spent 5 years in post-graduate education on the Bible and Christianity, and straight out of seminary I was hired to preach at a church that falls within the top 1% of church sizes in America. My whole life was centered around Jesus and ‘His Work,’ and I absolutely loved it.

So it has been particularly hard for people in my life to understand or accept that I’m now an agnostic bordering on atheist. They’ve come up with all kinds of strange theories to avoid the idea that I may have actually deconverted for rational and logical reasons based on the realities and evidence around us.

My soon-to-be-ex wife’s very conservative family has come up with the best ones. (Side note: my wife and I met at Bible college and she has served in ministry capacities. She, understandably, decided that she cannot be married to an atheist, and has filed for divorce. However, she has actually been the only one in my life who accepts the actual reasons I deconverted, and she does not believe any of her family’s theories presented below).

Her cousin, who is a preacher, is convinced that I must be addicted to something. I pushed God away in order to not feel guilty about my addiction, and that if I can just break that addiction then I will obviously come back to God. He demanded that I become "open and transparent" by handing over all my logins and passwords so that I could no longer hide my addiction and they could help me overcome it.

Another family minister is suddenly convinced that my businesses grew so quickly because I’m implementing unethical business practices and that I needed god out of my life to justify such unethical behavior.

Her brother tried to convince her that I must be having an affair, and I left religion in order to justify it.

But her mom’s explanation is the best: I purchased a vitamin store last year, and her mom thinks I’m taking so many new supplements that it messed up my brain! ????

What theories do religious people in your life present for your agnosticism/atheism?

BackToReality 6 Jan 4
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19 comments

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1

I never really believed.

I am being received by Satan.

I am angry at something or I have not reconciled with my past.

Or I am just wrong, for no reason other than they must be right.

0

Nothing, thankfully, my whole family is atheist, yours sound like psychotherapists trying to find a reason for you affliction, Its their problem not yours so try to suck it up and smile knowingly when they start or hum a happy tune over their meanderings into your psyche.

0

None, as I choose the company I keep and religious types are not on the guest list

1

My step sister says that Atheists just can't admit that there is something out there that is more powerful than him/her self. They need to be the powerful one. lol I'm familiar with gravity ... and cops.

gipsy Level 4 Jan 21, 2018
3

I have been asked what horrible thing happened to me to turn me away from gawd. My answer is usually "education."

1

No one in my family bothers to try that garbage on me.

3

I don't share my theory of their religious beliefs and I don't allow them to share their theory of my atheist. Boundaries. Boundaries.

2

I admire your boldness and courage. I have a friend whose life journey is very similar to yours. As for me, I was baby blessed in the LDS church. I was baptized at age 8 in a protestant church. I lost my faith when I became aware that the Easter Bunny and Santa Cluas weren't real. Shortly after that I was tested as gifted with a high IQ. I was promptly put on a specialized accelerated public education track. Childhood friends and family were intimidated by my success so they usually avoided intellectual debate of any kind. My classmates and teachers nourished my thirst for knowledge and discourse. I hold degrees in Electronics Engineering and Business Management with focuses on Computer Science and Economics. I have two Professional Engineering certifications and Multiple Management certifications. I'm sure you won't be surprised when I say 95% of my professional colleagues were non religious. HR policies prohibited any discussion of religion in the workplace. I'm retired now from my technical career but I continue to pursue a lifelong parallel career as a self taught songwriter/recording artist/musician/producer. Good luck with the rest of your Journey. You might find the next great love of your life on this site.

1

I've been told that I'm not religious because I was going through a tough time and blamed god for it. While partially true, there's a side of it that folks weren't getting. Though it was initially emotional reasons that I abandoned religion, it became reinforced over time with logical reasons. As I learned more from skeptics what arguments they had, the less I stopped believing in god simply because I was angry and the more I stopped believing in god because I realized there was no proof.

2

Oh this is awful for you - congratulations on following through. 🙂

2

I also went to bible college and served in ministry, before quitting to go back to school for a career as a sleep tech. Of the conservative family and friends I have told I am agnostic/borderline atheist, most have come up with idea that I am just mad at god due to my wife's health issues. I try to explain that that doesnt help, but that it is from research not showing any evidence. They seem to think I'm just angry and going through a phase.

I'm sorry to hear about your wife's health issues, and the lack of understanding from your family.

3

Never had anything explicitly explained to me, but I'm sure there's some kind of theory in play, and I bet I can get pretty close to it: my heart is "hard"; I'm not "accepting"; I put too much stock in intellectualism and rationalism; I lean too much on my own understanding--I need to subordinate my thinking and my will to faith. In other words, I need to believe something I don't believe and don't want to believe--essentially reprogramming my fundamental personality--because someone else (a particular person I have mind) is afraid they won't see me in heaven for eternity. Boohoo. Imma do me.

"I lean too much on my own understanding." Shame shame. Bible specifically says not to do that. There is even a song about that we used to sing in children's church.

2

My mom simply doesn't accept it. She is convinced that when I get older and wiser I will of coarse believe. It's very insulting really.

Yeah, maybe hoping for at least a death-bed conversion, if nothing else. Sorry to hear. It's rough when family and friends condescend us. Makes it hard to have a relationship when you know they're always thinking you're wrong about "the most important thing in life."

2

They are baffled that I would have morals, and basically see me free-wheeling life when they think it should be according to their interpretation of the bible.

Right. No morality, Peace, Joy, or Love without the Holy Spirit.

3

My Aunt Gennie, who has decided that I am her project, fells that if "I truly opened my heart to Jesus then I would see the light".

She also keeps trying to use all these old arguments like CS Lewis' that if Jesus was not the Son of God then he was either a liar or a madman. I usually respond with "my point exactly." and follow up with "Gennie. Why do you think I have never heard these arguments before?"

1

I’ll just hand them growing up around DC and being of an age that I went to public school after Engel v Vitale, so I didn’t have to pray every day. Still amazed at how that still sticks in the craw of some citizens.

1

I haven't really heard anything personally directed at me, but I have heard believers say that non-believers don't believe in anything and that they can't possibly have any morals because of it. I guess maybe we all need to check our GNC Serial Killer cards and the last time it was punched and when our free killing can be redeemed.

And ignore the fact that over 90% of criminals in jails identify as "religious". LOL

@GoldenDoll Yeah, I guess they like to cherry pick what suits them and then ignore other facts. That's a nice statistic to know for when a religious person uses the "no morals" argument. i guess they could just say that those prisoners aren't really religious or don't really follow the word of God.

1

53% of believers will think you were touched as a child...

1

None... they few people I call friend knows better...my kids are just like me...family are all in Brazil and when I visit there is no time for that...so I am a lucky one

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