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Anyone else ever get into a shouting match with their therapist?

I've been seeing a therapist to address my mastery of the skill of deflection. I now know about his finances, divorce, sexual experiences, you name it, I probably know it. So, I told him a personal opinion, I admittedly said was emotional. He responds by dragging barely related personal stories in. This lasted about 20 min and ended in me telling him I don't need to be told what I'm allowed to feel based on his story.
Is this normal behavior for a therapist or am I over reacting?

Jess2zz 5 July 13
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16 comments

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0

They all have different styles, you need to select one that you feel comfortable with, any one you feel like shouting at is probably not the one for you. If you are having problems with something and just can't see it, then maybe the approach is not right.

Sometimes personal anecdotes are helpful, and sometimes not.

arnies Level 7 July 29, 2018
2

The same thing happened to me. I wanted to say "Am I hear to to listen to your problems??"

Grecio Level 7 July 17, 2018

I wonder how they get like that. Burn out maybe?

1

A therapist has no business letting things get to that point in a session. Very unprofessional, and unfair to the client (especially for it to go on for 20 minutes! Time is .)

0

I've never been to a therapist.

0

We've been through a lot of therapists in my family and several of them have shared their personal experiences. I thought it was great - very validating and made you feel like they really understood you because they had experienced similar things. I certainly never thought about reporting them for being unprofessional.

Having said that, getting into a shouting match with your therapist is f-ed up. My ex did that, which was a big reason I realized that there was no hope for us. When he would scream at the therapist and storm out of the session (in marriage counseling), I just gave up.

Hihi Level 6 July 14, 2018

I hopethings are going better since you gave up. It's good you tried, though.

@Jess2zz Things are great! We were together for 20 years and only the last three years were bad. The divorce was a nightmare but now I'm happier than I've been in long time. I have my kid and adore him so I wouldn't change how things turned out, honestly.

@Hihi I'm always happy when people are able start new, happy chapters in their lives. That's awesome.

1

Um you really aren't supposed to know those things about your therapist. Some background is normal after a very long time - but no not sexual experiences ever?

Terrible boundaries on his part.

I be reporting that therapist and finding another.

I don't want to ruin his career, but you're right about the lack of boundaries. He does well, and I guess others like this style, it's just not for me.

@Jess2zz I worked in the field. That's not a style. It's wrong.

@Jess2zz it has direct consequences on the outcome to your therapy. If you don't feel that's the case, you're hopefully lucky but possibly mistaken. It NEEDS reporting before somebody gets hurt 😟

I'll consider it. Is like to believe this isn't a normal thing for him. But the rest is....

2

Unprofessional and potentially dangerous for some. The guidelines for some diagnoses stipulate the extra need for detachment with the patient to ensure the issue being addressed doesnt manifest in their relationship. I had some therapy during my divorce that ended up being quite wide ranging. We got around to schooling and she stopped for a couple of minutes, explaining she knew some details about the school and needed to be sure she wasn't crossing any lines due to her own possible biases. She wasn't even a pupil there, it was all boys. When the last session was over I asked her about it on the way out, she said she knew history of a staff member there but it was unprofessional of her to discuss it further. That's the sort of professionalism you want in counselling. It's sounding like your therapist was maybe getting a free lesson from you?

Salo Level 7 July 13, 2018

That's a great example to consider. Thank you. I think you're right.

1

That's very weird your therapist would tell you so many personal stories that now you know about his finances and sexual experiences.

Like I said, I'm really good at deflection.

1

I think you need to ask your therapist.....

3

I have had disagreements with a therapist before, but what you're describing is quite unprofessional. I would definitely seek out another therapist.

0

I do not now, nor have I ever, had a therapist.

1

I actually get along with my therapist rather well. We work very well together.

That sounds like how it should be.

@Jess2zz I am blessed. I've had many therapists in the past that we didn't see eye to eye. But the one I've had for a while. we have a great report with each other. and I am very happy about that.

2

It sounds to me like he's stepping over a line. A good therapist is very mindful of boundaries and what is and isn't appropriate to bring into therapy sessions. You could report him. At the very least stop seeing him and find another therapist.

I'm thinking just stop going. If others find him useful, good for them.

0

Yes you are overreacting the fact that you're in therapy indicates that you probably need to help getting along with people, this may not be good therapy for it for you it may work with other people the more important lesson is that you learn to accommodate his problems read them into your therapy that will make you a more well-rounded person unable to deal with people

m16566 Level 7 July 13, 2018

Thanks for the input, but that's a bit of an assumption to make. People need therapy for a lot of reasons, not all to "get along with other people".

0

That’s against the code of ethics and he should have his license revoked.

Wasn't aware that it was that serious, but it's not the first time I've left angry. Might be time to move on.

@Jess2zz Yes, that therapist is not good for you, he may not be good for anybody. I would find a therapist who can really help you. You should have confidence in your therapist.

@helionoftroy thank you. I left thinking it was time to part ways, but I'm sure of it now.

0

Doesn't sound normal at all.

I didn't think so.

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