Is nobody business what you do....not even your daughter's.

Speaking as an "ex" who got left, I'd be astonished if my ex WASN'T dating someone by this point (over 2 years separated and over a year and a half divorced). So, to be told about a new gf or whatever would come as no surprise.

I do think if there are shared or custodial minors in the house that the bona fides of the person you are dating could become an issue if there is anything there that would raise a concern for the safety or well-being or moral atmosphere for the minor children. But a 14 year old isn't going to be prey to your lady friend. I'd just tell your ex that you are looking for a good person in your life, and going on some dates, and so if she hears talk about that from the daughter, don't be surprised. It's not right to expect a child to keep secrets from one parent.

With me, when we (my new dating interest and I) posted pictures of outings on facebook, the cat was out of the bag. My kids were older at that time (18 and 24), and they told my ex also. I was and still am on good terms with my ex, even though the dating relationship fizzled out. Nobody's feelings were hurt. YMMV, but if you feel like you should tell her, tell her.

I just let my daughter make it known. But then my ex wife broke up with me and got with someone else fairly quickly so I didn't feel I had to do anything really tbh

I would just be upfront with your ex. Just come out and say, “Hey, I’m dating again. I hope this won’t effect our schedules.” Just be an adult about it and hopefully your ex will be rational about the news. There’s a reason the relationship didn’t work out between the two of you. But if she honestly expected you to stay single for the rest of your life, then she’s a little disillusioned.

Tap dancing around the issue is just prolonging it and making it more uncomfortable for all parties involved.

But then again, I’m very forward with everyone in my life. That’s one of the reasons I don’t have a ton of friends. But the ones that I do have are of the ride or die variety. I think the idea of the social contract is silly and is what’s hurting society as a whole. Just be upfront with your ex. At least you’ll get to the bottom of the issue quicker than just letting the issue fester.

Why hurt feelings? You are, like, Divorced and I assume you didn't sign a "no sex ever again" codicil.....

If you figure it out let me know

I don't think so. However they didn't want to make you happy or couldn't so they have to accept that at some point you might move on. I wish I had a great way to do that (or a reason to even) but I am not sure there is an easy or tactful way. I think just being honest with her and your new flame about responsibilities you have. I mean it is up to you guys to find a fair and equitable arrangement and what should be "special" circumstances to cancel because they may want to plan things too

I have discussed with the ex and basically told her I don't need to know or even really want to know so I am hoping she feels the same way. We live in separate areas across the country and have no kids or shared responsibilities though so it is much easier for us to just fade out of the others life

None of her business. & she should respect your privacy in this regard.

Here's my take:

It's your life. Being the ex/divorced, it's none of his/her business. You have a life as does the ex. What once was one is now two.

I'm wondering how you would feel to hear that your ex is dating ? It doesn't seem that you need to explain yourself - as dating is a very natural progression once someone is single again.
There's just no need to rub it in her face, if you do find a compatible woman - right ?
Good luck !

Why should she care if you are dating? What a strange question.

I can't give advice, based on one side of a story. I know when I started dating it was easy. My ex and I had decided to be friends and open. She knew she could trust my judgement with who I brought around the kids. It never became a negative situation. I guess I'm saying my avenue of open honesty worked out well.

I'm a bit confused as to whether it's your ex or your daughter you're most concerned about. At any rate, is it really any of your exes business if you date other people, other than how it may affect your custody arrangement?

The kid already told the ex. No worries!