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I am curious, are there any other Sapiosexuals here? If so, how does the attraction work for you? I know how it works for me. How does it work for you?

Sadoi 7 Jan 9

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I am very much a sapiosexual. In fact, I am quite a bit of the opposite (a "moron-o-phobe"?). Nothing turns me off to someone more than an outrageously stupid comment.

HAHAHA Moron-o-phobe! I have GOT to remember that!!! This was my First Real Hearty laugh of the day! I thank you, sir, for the laugh because more than anything in this woooorld, i LOVE to laugh the Most! 🙂


I am not very big on labels or categories especially in something as subjective as gender preferences. It also predisposes the idea that sexual roles have hard and fast lines between them. This one in particular disturbing.

gender preference? I never cared about the gender either. I only care about the quality within the person. Could be male, female, short, tall, white/black/green... don't care. if the mind is solid, i could get into it...


I am not into labels but I guess that sorta describes me, maybe?

Are you attracted to minds or to physical traits?


The fantastic thing about a proper English accent, makes you sound like an intellectual villain all around the world, thanks Hollywood! I've never been attracted to stereotypically attractive people, preferring stimulating conversation and challenge of ideas over appearance. I'm so glad that women are educated in my society!

Dav87 Level 6 Jan 10, 2018

Haha, which accent would that be? I tend to speak with Received Pronunciation and get called posh by most with a strong accent.

I used to date a brit, well, ive actually dated a few Englishmen. I absolutely can be made to laugh until I cry any time they would willfully mock villians! One of my ex boyfriends used to recite scenes from Star Wars for me because we all know the Empire is English! haha! When the second trillogy installment came out, I used to mock the Trade Federation in that over the top asian influenced accent and he would do The Empire and man oh man, would I Ever laugh! It was so damn funny!! Most Englishmen I have known were honestly gentlemen AND their accents are so much fun!

@Zoidburg Ooh yeah! You are an Englishman too, arent you? ooh la la! Accents Galor! I love a good accent! I mean, we all have one to some one, some where! lol

@zoidburg I speak the queen's English my good man. I'm southern and my voice gets attention everywhere I've travelled. I think it's because I sound like a Bond villain, people expect me to be evil.

@Dav87 Well that's not an accent RP or BBC English as it would be know if you speak correctly, are you suggesting you speak like the Princes? I'm also southern (Cheltenham) and my accent gets attention even around the UK, lol. Not sure about a Bond villain, though!

@Dav87 okay, but you are also dressed like a pirate in your profile picture which... begs for the questions, "are you the dread pirate roberts?!" lol

@Zoidburg @Dav87 hmm you know, me thinks we need to have some audio recordings of both your voices so as to better assertain your points, sirs!


Just so you know, it IS possible to have both!! lol

Both what? Intelligent & attractive mate? Well, yeah, because once i start to fall for a guys mind, suddenly... he is the HOTTEST THING ive EVER seen and im ready to toss on the "Bow wow Bow wow brown chicken brown chicken bow wow bow wow" 70s porn music! At that point, he Sure The Fuck IS attractive because thats when im in looove! So i Do get Intelligent And Attractive. Its just, possibly that I am the Only one who Thinks i have both (haha) which is GOOD for me because if no one else is attracted to my guy, physically, all the more for meee! And i am a greedy mate! I want my mate all to myself! haha I mean, by way of relationships, but im No Clingy girlfriend, thats for sure! I will push his ass out of the nest Every, Single Day and say, "go play with your friends!! Go! go! go!" haha Guy needs his OWN LIFE too! 😉 As do i. Personal space is as valuable as being together. Or so I think.

@Sadoi Indeed, so do you actually ever look at a man and think he's hot or are you blank until you've had a lengthy intellectual convo with him? lol

@Zoidburg I have never looked at a man and thought "hes hot!" Not once in my life. When i tried traditional dating sites, it was near impossible for me to choose anyone because its all photos with tiny bits of detail and info. Im the opposite. I don't give two shits about the photos. I cannot see what it is i Want in a photo. I can Only see that in spoken or written word, in the actions of the person, in their personalities, etc. Most celebs my friends consider "hot" i find utterly unappealing to me. I see nothing when i look at celebs. Nothing i care to know more of. I find most "attractive" people to be lacking because they have made their lives built upon their looks. I am not even mildly phased by that. I look PAST the attractive dude at the bar, STRAIGHT at the quiet nerd in the corner because chances Are, i will be WAY more into the quiet guy in the shadows over the strutting peacock in the center of the room. I despise ego. I cannot stand shallowness. I loathe anything built upon aesthetic nature Only. I find those things trite and below me. I will PASS up a pretty boy in a HEARTBEAT! And i Do/Did/Have. I cannot handle that sort of thinking. I believe life has so much more to offer and anyone so caught up in themselves that they can't even get out the door without tripping over their mirror, thats someone i can pass up Faster than gonorrhea! I need more substance. I need something i can sink my teeth into and that NEVER happens with a glam puss. I don't even look at mirror reflections of myself other than maybe once or twice a day. Otherwise, whats the point? I have better things to do than worry about make up and all the other primping chicks do too. I want Quality. I cannot handle anything other than that. One could say im picky, but i prefer to say i have high standards? If i am not Mentally Stimulated then... its Over before it Even Starts. I won't play games and i won't do the dance. I don't have time for that. Life is too short, time to precious to waste on some moron who i would probably be bored with in a matter of weeks anyway. I couldnt even Dream of having sex with an arrogant ass either. I would probably end up puking on myself in bed if that ever happened! lol! sooo does that answer the question? haha


skills and intelligence are a real turn on

Ay up, what kinda skills?!

I don't mean sex though I wouldn't want to sleep with a sack of potatoes

@LeighShelton LMFAO! Well put, sir!

@Zoidburg @leighshelton yeah... what kinda skilz? like... the skillz to pay the billz or... skiiiilllz? hahahah

@LeighShelton Agreed! Sack of potatoes are only good for cooking! haha

I mean being good in bed is obviously awesome but I mean like being able to dance well or play an instrument well or even good at self-defence. not suggesting im good in bed lol.

@LeighShelton No woman is good at self defence against a bloke twice her size and 3 times as strong, it's just asking for her to get more hurt, lol.

you know what I mean or good at singing or tightrope walking. anyway, have you seen the UFC woman fight?

@LeighShelton hahaha!! i loved your response!

@Zoidburg slowly raises hand martial artist here with 3 third degree blackbelts... ive been fighting since age 7... i don't know... bear in mind... Yoda Was Small too... 😉

as woman well know bigger doesn't mean better which is lucky for me. you are splitting hairs about fighting skills and missing the point. I do have very shallow eyes and a very deep mind. pretty would where for real quick. I mean watch a beautiful woman playing the saxophone I'm just like in awe of her watching her every move. I watched a woman stunt riding a motorbike yesterday and I was the same. I guarantee cyborg off of ufc would nock the shit out of in the fight not fight in the dog. woman are way tougher mentally that's for sure. look at the shit they have to go threw.

@Sadoi Bits, I can't stand it. Even if I wasn't trained there's no way Rousey would be able to do shit against me (for instance), she's just not big/strong enough. Cyborg is barely female and I've been a fighter since 11, don't be silly.

we are getting off track here and we will never know. I know if she got you in an armbar you would tap out. bruce lee was 120lb wet and would destroy you. skill interests me not how tough you are.


OK, I am considered smart, and am no Adonis, so the idea of a lady finding the mind attractive and no so worried about the body is great. But, I am the sapiosexual, I am attracted to intelligent women.
I have been in relationships with highly intelligent women, I had hoped they would be less emotional, but that wasn't the case. However, far fewer arguments, great conversation, awesome ummmmm, intimacy? My mind never stops, conversations can bore me quickly, and people complain their heads hurt on many topics, so a woman who keeps up and stays interested and interesting, ahhh, my soul mate??ha ha.

Yikes! I was just about to get to your comment and leave my response, but I just recieved a call from a friend who just slid off the road about 4 miles from my home and I must race over to pick her up and to wait with her for the tow truck. I shall read and respond as soon as I return. 🙂

We do exist, Sapiosexual girls. I am actually not very emotional. I believe that is the downfall of many of my relationships. I am more like the man in the relationship, in that i don't really have many emotional rollercoasters, but the men I have tended to date have been the emotional ones. My nickname is "The Vulcan" among my friends. They think it is an insult. I think it is a compliment. I have worked long and hard to gain control of my emotions and I can easily say I have now been rather accomplished at it for about 17 years. Find a cerebral Sapiosexual female. We won't fuck ya around like that. hahah Yeah and dating a smart lady... Good Choice by way of all things awesome!! 😉 Not to toot the horn of all us Sapiosexual ladies... buuut... the proof is in the puddin' so to speak!

Oh and yes, I bore QUICKLY too. It is also why i never find anyone I wish to date. I am bored within a short time. They just... can't hold my interest long enough because, sadly, ive usually been the smarter one. Im not a fan of that. haha

@Sadoi I hope your friend is ok. ha, you sound awesome, 1/4 of a century and 1/2 a world away. My daughter is gay, as is a close young friend of mine, they also get bored with girls who do not think hard enough. It is disappointing, maybe we should blame the TV sit coms of the 5s and 60s portraying dumb women as desirable. Vulcan - love it. I get Marvin, the paranoid android from Hitch hikers guide, because I like to display a grumpy persona, I worked with kids a lot last year, from 3 to 18 in various educational roles, I earned the nick name, "Captain Grumpy" I was given a cap with it embroidered on, and also a bottle of Gentleman Jack, cool.

@Rugglesby OMG i LOVE DOUGLAS ADAMS!! I was obsessed with him in my tweens and teens! You are correct! Women were encouraged to dumb themselves down in our recent history. I enjoyed the sitcoms of the 70s more, as women were beginning to be viewed as viable, independent human beings. Like the Mary Tyler Moore show, Rhoda, Maude, etc. Oooh cool kids! Funny nickname! lol


Yes-intelligence is attractive to me.

Ditto, miss. 😉


My only college GF in my college days... wanted to graduate from college at age 19. just 2 years of college with 4.0. I didn't care of her brain... It was animal attraction between us... But I played to be seduced by her. I had something with her older sister before but when she told me I got a kid sister here something told me to back off until I saw her sister. I met her before putting two and two together. Anyways she claim because of me she ended with 3 B's and took her 3 years to graduate instead of two. I heard after graduation she was not happy with the major chosen. English education but she always acted surprised when I could beat her in some argument. She ended up wanting to become a lawyer instead of a teacher. I tried to warn the Genius to take it easy and enjoy college. I love the smart woman... better conversation than a simple empty headed sexual object. My ideal woman will help me finish my unfinished scripts... about vampires, about dancers, about lovers, The tainted blood trilogy that starts in Germany and ends in Cuba with a Santero killing Vlad Dracula. In my vampire world they don't live forever, they decay and suffer alzheimer's like many old people. Fidel Castro had Vlad chained but he was senile and a waste... still his blood was keeping Fidel alive. Needless to say they both dead in the story. My match will be a partner in my fantasies about dancers sad stories. And the glorious dancing in the sky among the astral lights. There been so few you can discuss the universe at the same time you make love without distraction, is like a communion of the minds via a corporal interphase. It is the headplay at the same time of the foreplay. But I admit been used as a male bimbo before. I am stopping now. Nice Question Friend.

ahh... i see sir (cocks head to side and nods) soo you are saying you are a full on Latin-Lover, the ones I have read about, eh? hee hee

@Sadoi Si mi Reina.

@GipsyOfNewSpain so when you gonna teach me some dance moves sir?

@Sadoi I reckon the ball is in my court and I must shut up or put out.


Here here?.. or is it hear hear? ... or is it hair hair?


Yeah, It's often been the case that someone that was plain turns attractive once they open their mouth... as well as someone that was pretty turns ugly when they do the same. 😛

Hear hear, lol.

I believe it is Hare Hare! Tortoise Tortoise! Precisely. It is a bit more indepth for me though. haha! I think there isnt much more I can say on the topic that I havent already said in the above responses. Plus, you and I have gone over this topic on our own, in private, side convos. You know, pretty much, where i stand on this... at least i think you do... haha! if not, well, you know how to read and if the curiousity strikes you, you know how to scroll up! lol!! and we can discuss anything else we want at our own leisure, off the radar. 😉

asynch. 😉


The Marylin Monroe syndrome...haha...I remember this girl who was drop dead gorgeous who, for some crazy reason, was interested in me...but we had no conversation level, and it turned me off like a switch. She was nice, not dumb, but 'normal'. Normal interests, normal topic matters, etc. I think someone has to have a type of genius that they actively nurture for me to be interested. I am almost sure everybody has a potential to be brilliant, just whether they get the chance to nurture that brilliance.

Ooh i know the type. I could Never be with a "Regular" either. I would be bored to the point of screaming... and at that, it would be my time to bail! I can't handle the mundane. I mean, sure it works for some... That same girl could make some average dude happy as a clam, but for someone like myself, and like yourself as well, that is not enough. I hear ya loud and clear buddy and i concur!! I, personally, don't even know who is physically attractive and who isn't when i first encounter them. I honestly see nothing... nothing good, nothing bad. Just blank. And from the onset of the first conversation, my mind begins to formulate an opinion and slowly but surely, the person comes in to play. Whether or not it grows to the point of attraction, on my end, well, that is wherein my confusion begins. haha

@Sadoi EXACTLY! Each person is a novel with a cover that is drawn as the story unfolds...I like 'the friend zone'....I have lots of female friends...who are only friends and nothing else. The worst is when you confuse the two....or occasionally blur the line because the other person is interested and the 'why not?' happens. Ugh. That so rarely turns out very well.

@JohnnyThorazine i have never blended the two, thankfully! haha! Since attraction is so fleeting for me, i could never rely on that and anyone who is "Friend Zoned" With me, tends to STAY friend zoned (and that is about 99.9% of the friends i have!) lol

@Sadoi I have been guilty...and it went horribly wrong. But less than a handful of times..."Friends With Benefits" means that one or both of us probably has health care...hehe

@JohnnyThorazine hahaha!! you are a funny man!! Yeah, i could never sleep with one of my friends. I would feel like a filthy pig the next day! haha! There wouldnt be enough soap to clean the guilt off of me and eventually i'd rather march my Pig Ass to the bacon factory! lol! So i knew, always, to steer clear of such things.


I've posted here before that I indeed think a woman's brain is her sexiest organ. Other parts are a really close second...

Like reeeeeeeeeeeeally close! LOL

I feel the same way, but about man and women. I don't really care about the other parts... until I have built up enough mental attraction to them. Then... well, watch the f' out! Im gonna pounce! haha


No, while intellect is attractive and arousing, I need physical and personality compatibility to be high as well.

For me, ever since I can recall, as a child even, I was oblivious when it came to cues regarding attractiveness. All the boys my childhood girlfriends found attractive, I never agreed with. I mean, as a kid, I had crushes on Gene Wilder and Billy Crystal! lol It wasn't until I was jr high age and high school age that it Truly dawned on me what I was. I couldnt see anything in any person, even missing things as obvious as eye colour, because i never began to see a person until I knew them better and in time, attraction grew and developed, but never from the physical, for me. Personality, i consider part Of intellect so that is a given, for me, too.


My sex drive is like an extinct volcano, but certain words still get me charged instantly (always have). It's not the words themselves, it's the degree of nuance they connote and the erudition necessary to not only use them correctly, but slip them unobtrusivesly into your natural speech.

It's a really stupid, random reason to want to hook up with someone. And I'm not even embarrassed about it, either. I so rarely get such a pang, they pass quickly, and I've never acted on it (when I wasn't already involved with the person).

Same story when someone authentically relates a highly intelligent, original concept, regardless of the words used. Evidence of high-ordered thinking makes me wanna knock boots.

I've never been a one-night stand kind of person...but if you can use "perspicacious" in a sentence without blinking, I WILL get a fleeting image of us engaged in NSA horizontal congress.

Not THAT unusual for that word to be used in England. I like 'perfunctory' and 'floccinaucinihilipilification'.

Ooh i think you and i are turned on by the SAME type of man, too! Just reading your descripts, I could envision a man of that sort and I hear ya sister! I'd wanna knock boots with a man like that too! And like you, I haven't had a one night stand either. I have only been sexually involved with 5 people in my entire life. I take this stuff serious! haha

@NerdyOkieDude Sesquipedalianism obviates eloquence. Nice try, though 😉

@NerdyOkieDude ooh busting out the vocabulary Big Guns on us ladies and gents, eh?! Me liiiiikes!! Keep talking, err writing, Sir!

@NerdyOkieDude HAAAHAAAHAAAAAAA!!! Jeff Bezos!!! omg!!!

@stinkeye_ Still waiting to use this one on here. re church and state antidisestablishmentarianism


Had to look that one up I am going to incorporate that with androgynous in a poem one day.

haha! Androgynous sapiosexual! Send me a copy of that tune, sir!

@Sadoi Wrote this today posted it o

Symmetry in sagacity:

The androgynous among us engulf the air all around us, with not a sound to be uttered aloud.

Epicene is serene to the scene as the evergreens liming around in epitomy.

Stealthy are the knavish deep in the wish of intrepidness.

Treacherous like argentines dimples sapiosexuals tickle those wrinkles of our complexity.

Incongruity of ignorant humanity in it`s chasm of got to want it mentality.

Forever transformed by are we by the world in myth and mystery.


I'm 100% sapiosexual...the more my "loves" can stimulate my creativity and, better still, their own in helping create the characters we portray. Still, I've worked with some charming ones who weren't nearly so smart as just outrageously talented. Intelligence is one of many factors for me, but of prime importance.

Hmm you know, talent and charm... those rank high up for me too. hmm... along with intellect, charm and talent too boot... WOA! I would jump on that! haha

@Sadoi TADA!!! Here I be!!!

Honestly, I'd rather spend and afternoon with an unattractive intelligent person than an absolutely lovely moron...well, under most circumstances....anyway...

Of course, when I'm looking for models and performers they must be absolute beauties for the same reasons you see them everywhere else in these industries. But to "stay attractive" to me she must have the intelligence and creativity to actively take the lead role. as quickly as possible.

I'm just picky, I guess.

@DangerDave Hey, nothing wrong with having high standards! 😉 I agree with you too. Intelligence... sigh it is my weakness...

@Sadoi you have leapt far above my standards into the stratosphere far above! I really can't wait to meet you and hopefully work with you!

Yes, you're a "love" now but don't worry. I have several, each with a special place in my heart.

@DangerDave ooh are you saying you collect "loves?" are we all like hula dolls on your dashboard with bobble heads bouncing around? 😉 haha


I actually had to look that one up. I have always been attracted to women more intelligent than myself. Hmmm... how to be tactful. If they are not more intelligent than myself there is no challenge and they simply are not attractive. I find it interesting that in my case high intelligence makes them more sexually appealing to me. I must admit I do not understand the correlation there but it seems to be how I am wired. This being said I did find a very intelligent woman that I have been happily married to for 20 years.

I agree with you 110%!! And congrats on finding your "one!" I have still yet to find "the one" but not for lack of trying! haha! I think I am just too damn picky. It takes a lot to get me to turn my head for a second look. I love having friends. I love convo. Most of my friends are actually men, but do I want to date any of them? 99.9% of the time, I do not. Hence, why I am still on the market. I just have yet to find that... one person who Truly makes me want to give it another shot. I am open to that thought, but I am not holding my breath either. I could be just as content alone, although i Do enjoy being in relationsihps (just in them with the wrong men, me thinks) and i think i work better as a duo than i do as a single, however, I don't mind my own company and i have many interests so I don't particularly get lonely. There are always so many other things to learn and to experience. However, I do admit, there are times i feel it would be nice to have a parter to share those types of hobbies and experiences with. But, again, what I require in a mate is Pretty darn specific too and I just don't know many men that would be able to fit what I would demand at this point in time. I don't want to be with a few more men in this life time. I would rather be with only One More man in this lifetime. The next relationship I get in to, if ever, I want it to be the Last One. I want to either die with that person or they die with me. I don't want to keep doing the breakup song and dance. I need something way more substantial. I think im ready for it, but... the issue is finding someone worth taking the risk on.

@Sadoi From a evolutionary point of view I don't know that she or I was "the one". Luckily, to her I was "good enough" to love and procreate with. Not very flattering put this way. I believe that we due to our sociological and altruistic nature can be compatible with a great many of people. I was just lucky to find "one" that will put up with my bullshit.

@DavidLaDeau I love it! Gives me hope that it is possible to find someone worth the effort and for the long haul. I am still hunting. I hope to be so fortunate as you. 🙂

@Sadoi Good luck! You go girl!

@DavidLaDeau Thank you for the encouragement! Now hopefully i won't fuck this up! hahahaha!

intelligence doesn't mean you got all A`s at college either.

@LeighShelton uh... slowly raises hand but I did... i graduated with honours.

I'm sorry my mistake I think. you can be intelligent with none. I consider myself intelligent for instance and I got nothing from school really. in fact, i hated it.also some people with A`s have no common sense at all or life skills as such.


Yeah! Spill the beans!

What beans would those be, sir?


You know how it works for you, and you aren't telling us? You opened this can of worms, so let's hear how it works for you first. 😛

well, yeah

Ooh! okay, you asked for it. When i meet people, anyone in general, I see them almost like a blank canvas. Slowly, over time and over conversation, they begin to fill in. As they fill in, that is when and how the attraction can begin, if any. However, I am also extremely pick and not Just any sapiosexual. I do not like to waste my time. When i go into a relationship, I am looking for someone i can logically spend Years with, not days, weeks or months. I am very selective about what type of person I am willing to be in a relationship with mainly because I like to go all in once I am ready to date a person. I don't want to do it half ass. The problem I have is finding a person I am so mentally attracted to, Beyond just Wanting to be friends with them, that i absolutely cannot get them off of my mind. That is when i Knoow something is up. When I cannot stop thinking about a person or become obsessed with them to the point that I want to be around them as much as humanly possible, that is When i know "this mind has truly broken past my fortress walls!" That occurance is far and few between. So i wondered if there were other sapiosexuals out there and, if so, I wanted to hear their stories so i could compare them to my own as a way to scientifically measure my Own sapiosexual tendancies. In other words, I'm trying to figure out if anyone else out there Is As picky as I am or am i just a sapiosexual of an Extreme sort. One little example is that I was going over this thought about a month ago while I was alone. Just by chance, I decided to count up how many people I am attracted to. In the end, my consensus was, I am attracted to 5 people in the Entire North American continent! That is PRETTY BAD i would think! haha! It then brought me to the idea... am I even normal? haha! But, i already know the answer to that. NO! I am Not! haha! I guess, my reasoning was to sort of... self search and to use all the data i gathered here, from all of you, to try and understand my own nature, better. I Want to be in love with someone again, some day, but i wonder how likely that is to happen if I can never figure out why it is so difficult for me to find people I am genuinely attracted to. Perhaps the truth is, it is just going to take some extraordinary man to honestly get me to... change my tune. I want to experience a love that I can build and grow with for this last phase of my life. It would seem, however, that I have such specific needs, maybe that person simply does not exist. Thats how it works for me! 🙂 NOW YOUR TURN! hahaha

You know, as I re-read my answer, i realized i failed to give you some insight into how I Become attracted. It is slow building, as i said. If a man can make me think, prompt me to expand my mind... if he can inspire me to want to explore something new, saay... a topic or subject i wasn't previously interested in or unaware of, if he can make me laugh, i mean, hysterically, and although i find many things humerous, i do still have a certain type of humour a nitch i prefer and if he Also instinctually Finds those sorts of things funny as well and knows how to play on it, im in! If he has a talent, esp one I cannot mimic nor even understand, I would be impressed to the point of attraction. Any one who is more intelligent than I am, I find highly attractive. I tend to be the one that teaches the people I date. I prefer a parter who can Also teach me. I want a balance. I specifically seek out balance. How well balanced am i With this person? All of those things come into play as my attraction to a person builds. I look at so many angles and aspects. But, the most important one, how naturally comfortable am I with the person? Do they elicit a feeling of comfort and compatibility with me? A person who can flawlessly get on with me to the extent that it is Effortless to converse with them, effortless to laugh with them, effortless in finding things in common, commonalities... their looks mean nothing to me... only what they bring. And when these conditions are met (and there is a lot more i havent even touched on) then my Attraction for a person can become over the top! I love hard. When i Finally find someone I am Willing to take that jump with, I want the Whole pie, not just a slice. I go long term. Im in it to win it! The shortest relationship I have been in was 3 years and the longest was almost 9. I wanted to have only one love in this lifetime, but clearly that failed. lol Not many people seem to... get me to this level where I want those things and that is How attraction works for me. Those are the things I find SEXY as alll hell! I would fall in love so fast if all those criteria were met.

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