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How important is a great kisser to you in a relationship?

I won't start a poll, because there are so many answers out there. But to me having someone who is an amazing kisser is very important, I love someone who can kiss gently with a little tease of tongue, someone who can kiss me and make my knees weak and so I feel like I am melting

I once started in a relationship with a man that was such an amazing kisser, though unfortunately besides his cheeky grin, was the only good quality about him.

I don't think I could be in a relationship without amazing kissing first, or at least someone willing to learn. What I loathe is when a man sticks his tongue right down your throat to the point where you gag.

And apologise if it sounds like I have kisses one million men, I actually haven't, A conversation with someone recently got me thinking about it.

And to be honest I think women are the most amazing kissers, soft and teasing.

So how important is it to you?

Sacha 7 Jan 9

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Very important! I have had some not so good kisses. Yuck! To me, that is as important as the sex.


Thought of something to add. I once got a massage where the therapist rubbed between my fingers. It made me think of when I'd hold a girl's hand for the first time. Incredibly exciting. I kinda miss that feeling, when kissing was enough, when making out was a huge deal.


It is very important that both enjoy the kiss. It has to be wild and desirable. Wet kisses are horrible.

lyvia Level 2 Jan 11, 2018

The question is, what do you do when your partner thinks they're a good kisser, but they are actually terrible? How do you fix that situation?

Now I'm a huge fan of a great kiss. To me there is nothing more of a turn on than kissing a woman who is both playful and passionate, teases and likes to be teased, matches your moves with her own, you know? You just lose yourself in the moment and the world disappears, there is nothing to compare it to. It's what I imagine heaven would be like if such a thing existed.

But what do you do when the opposite happens?

I once dated a woman who was beautiful, sweet, fun with an amazing personality and on paper just perfect for me. And to top it off she loved kissing! What a win right?

The problem was she was really, really bad at it. It was this mixture of sloppy and awkward, the kind of kiss that makes you think, how did this god awful technique ever come into existence?! I mean, as much of a turn on kissing is for me, this was achieving the exact opposite. I felt like I was trapped in some sort of ironic hell and, almost questioning my atheism! I thought "Well, here it is, if Dante were around he'd be taking notes and adding another ring."

This poor woman thinks she's great at the one thing she was terrible at. How is this possible? Then I started thinking, do really unfunny people think they are funny? Do morons think they are smart? Maybe in order to know that you are bad at something requires the exact knowledge you need to be good at that same thing? So, ironically, the worse you are at something, the better you think you are.

My problem is how do I address it? How can one tactfully let a person know they are terrible at something and help them correct it without it being a thing from then on?

I always find the truth works best, she may even thank you.


I only kiss women and since foreplay is such a huge part of intimacy for queer/lesbian relationships good kissing is a must, because it’s such a big part of the whole deal.

120% agreed


Trust and respect are most important

That they are 🙂


I consider myself a great kisser, I will like an equal please. For a great match... two equal players are needed. Responsive reaction makes all difference in the world. Communion of the lovers starts there.


It is absolutely vital ! I love to kiss , and find it to be more intimate than sex itself. And it can be done almost anywhere, at any time, at any age, with clothes on !


A good kisser is a must, but I've learned that's something that can be taught. I've been with guys who started out sloppy and were terrible, but after showing them the ropes, they improved over time.


I think it is very important. It tells a lot about the other person.


Kissing is probably the thing that let's me know I really like someone besides their personality. But, I have noticed in all my relationships of the last decade, kissing sorta goes away after the first month or two, without any fanfare. Maybe a sign, unnoticed, that those relationships were short term?

Ohhhh you should never let kissing go away! Kissing goes away equals women goes away.

@Sacha I see I am the automatic bad guy in this situation...(I totally understand that it is a matter of perspective)...hehe....but it isn't me, or just me...takes two to just the more we are together, the more we do things together that don't/can't involved more than greetings kissing or good bye kissing...yeah, in the words of my people, it'sa no good...

@JohnnyThorazine I don't think you are bad guy, and it does take two to tango, but both of you should never let the intimacy and kissing go away

@Sacha I agree! I was totally teasing about 'being the bad guy' in the situation...hehe...


It's a nice plus. At least until the relationship moves to the clothing optional stage. But I can't ever recall thinking: She can't kiss! I'll never talk to her again!


I am with you on this one. It is where all the magic begins for me. I don't think I could become particularly attached to someone that could not really kiss. But you are right again, Most all the women I have been with are pretty good at least.


I find great kissing and mouths very personal and erotic


To me, affectionate touch is the most important thing. Kissing is very much a part of that for me. Not necessarily sensual, but affectionate. That is more important than sex to me. Knowing that someone really cares and wants to make you feel cared for is more important than simple pleasure.


Very important!
One girl I went on a date with was so sloppy... tongue flailing around totally clueless bleh!

that's a bad date!!!!

Ewwww I dislike sloppy


I've broken up with somebody because he was a terrible kisser. ???? I love to kiss so they are going to have to be good at it.

Kanda Level 5 Jan 22, 2018

Very important. I like kissing. I like holding hands. Sometimes the first kiss is awkward--you just don't know how to fit your faces together. But if there is any connection, you'll keep trying until you get it right.


Erm, not really important I don't think in the grand scheme of things...


To me kissing is over rated I just like to get straight to the point offense lol

None taken. But it sounds awful 😉


Personally not into it for myself. Just this topic alone and I would have guessed it was written by a woman. Many of my lady friends are like you and kissing is so important to them. Apparently I pass muster, but I can certainly live with out it.

So you like sex without kissing?

yep. Lots of kissing when I was younger, it seemed to drive the girls crazy, and even now still does. But I have met some women who are not into it either, and that is fine also.


I had read long ago about the tongue being the first sexual organ and that you learn to first feel with your tongue. Been so long since I have kissed a woman think I have forgotten how.


Well, to be honest, I’d have to agree. Women are great kissers, but I have limited experience.
As for critical, no. Other skills are far more important.


I went on my first date in 4 years recently and kissed someone I just met-told me I was a good kisser and then cancelled last minute our planned romantic weekend.

His loss


I enjoy kissing almost more than the horizontal mambo
He would need to be a decent kisser and then open to improving as needed

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