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For those who have no children, would you date a partner with a child?

If you didn't have a child, would you be willing to accept a partner who does have children? Would you consider those children your own if the relationship was serious? How involved in raising them would you be?

TwistyOwl 5 July 29
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56 comments (26 - 50)

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1

Yes.

1

Yes, she would be better able to put up with my childishness.

1

One of the best moves i ever made was dating a woman with a child. Matt and I are closer after the divorce than he is with his mother. Children can give you the highest high and drive you to despair, Both teach a lot and make you a better person.They can also make for some real fun dates.

BillF Level 7 July 29, 2018
1

But only if the baby mama drama is mild. I will not date a guy who has a constant battle with his kids mom

1

Totally its all or nothing

1

I am curious to read the answers to this too. I am divorced with 3 kids and have had no luck finding anyone to date. On the other hand, my ex moved a guy with no kids into her house a year after we got divorced. I wonder if it matters whether the single parent with kids is a man or a woman.

1

Sorry I've already been there done that don't want to raise anybody else's kid

1

I have two stories about children in a broken home.

My mother married five times, twice before I was born. Her third husband, Bill, my first stepfather, abused me. When I was three he punched me in the stomach...my grandma told me the story. It wasn't all, but you get the gist.

My father and his father were alcoholic. I didn't want to pass that on, so I got a vasectomy and married a woman with two children. We are still married 35 years later; it is the only family I have. I didn't abuse the children, as far as I know. Sometimes we do things without knowing how others are affected; being possible autism spectrum, I'm concerned about being insensitive. I must work at being sensitive; whereas, many people do it automatically.

I certainly don't regret dating a woman with children. However, I regret my mother dated with me hanging on. If you like kids, go for it. If you don't feel like playing with children, and might loose your cool...do not date someone with children!

EdEarl Level 8 July 29, 2018
1

Hmmm. I did. We dated as a monagamous couple but kept separate residences until her 2 were off to college. Then we moved in together. Still together after 22 years. We're married now. I consider her kids my stepchildren and we get along fine. Last year I became a grandfather.

Unusual. First, a human being is not a monogamous animal. Not only there is a huge difference between male and female, the first is commanded by evolution to spread seeds; the second has just several hundred and she is looking for the biggest brute with the biggest club to bring home the bacon. Secondly, evolution keeps couple naturally together for about a dozen years after the youngest child is born; time needed to raise the brood to self-sufficiency. Most divorces are occurring in the 12 to 20-year mark. People that stay together longer, for life sometimes, mastered the craft of successful working on the business of staying together. It takes work to constantly appreciate my partner, to derive happiness from my partner's behavior, bad or good alike. Every city in the civilized world has one swingers club for perhaps 100,000 people. I study and admire those people. It seems they found a way of leading a happy life, firmly grounded, usually more educated and affluent. Yes, they break up as others do, but usually without the associated trauma.

1

I would and did. I loved them and raised them as my own. And even though their father and I are no longer together, they still love me and call me Mom. And they've given me 2 grandkids!

Deinan Level 4 July 29, 2018
1

I have dated single mothers, you just have to factor in the importance of the children obviously.

If a potential partner has kids I do tend to try & not get involved with the them until I'm fairly sure the relationship is going to last.
Breakups can be difficult if you've been involved for a while

0

I'm in my late 60s, too old and set in my ways to have to deal with someone's else children in my home. My kids are grown, when I want a kiddie fix, I visit my adult children.

0

Absolutely, %100.

0

Probably not. Got burned pretty badly by my ex. I do not ever want to hear someone whisper romantically in my ear “I love you because now I have so much more money to give to my kids”. To some people irony is a metal used in making guns and SUVs.

0

I am childfree, so the possibility of me dating someone with children is close to zero. I have gotten involved with a man with tweenagers, and it ended up a complete nightmare and a brutal moment of realization that I would never come first in his life—ever. I had emergency surgery, and he was basically MIA. His eldest kid had failed to study for a class all semester long, and he "had" to help the kid cram for an exam rather than tend to my needs. So ... that was that. I have a lot of childfree and childless single friends who have had the same experience with single parents, being put on the far back burner.

I wouldn't rule out dating and getting involved with someone with adult children, but it would depend on the type of relationship the man had with his kids. Of course I would want him to be interested in his kids' lives, but not overly-involved—if that makes any sense.

The relationship with your spouse is the most important one you'll ever have. This is the person who will take care of you as you age, and then enter the last days of life. So relationships can only thrive when two people put each other first, above all others. Some people, like my parents, are capable of doing this. Others aren't. That makes it really difficult to have an honest conversation with someone with adult children.

0

Not a chance.

Orbit Level 7 Nov 30, 2018
0
0

I would and I would love her kids and do my best to support them.

0

Man, this is a difficult question for me. I have no parenting or disciplinary skills whatsoever, and I know that if I was put in a position where I was raising children I would grow to resent them. I haven't lived my life for myself yet, and I know that it would be my responsibility to live for them. I would certainly consider dating someone who has adult children, who are responsible for themselves, though.

0

Yes
Maybe - depends on the circumstances, at my age most women are empty nesters and I'm pretty sure I don't ever want to live with anyone again
Not at all as I wouldn't date anyone with young kids, I chose not to have children and I'm happy with that choice.

0

Absolutely.

0

I never thought I would... until I did. I've never had an interest in children so it was odd at first but not terrible.

In one scenario I was also spoiled in that my girlfriend was married so I was able to help out sometimes when they needed me but I wasn't overwhelmed by the scenario.

As kind as they're not looking for me to be their new dad of the bat I'm okay with dating someone with kids now.

0

You need to think of more then yourself and the person you are going to date. The kids will play a huge part too. You will spend holidays, birthdays,vacations, etc. With them and if it ends you never get to see them either.

Mokvon Level 8 July 29, 2018
0

It all depends on the ages of the adults and the kids and what further plans for kids the adults have.
Before I had kids I’d prefer a guy to not have them because I wanted to have kids and it would be easier, but it was just a preference. But that gets harder in your 30’s. Did find a guy older that didn’t have kids and wanted them. I got pregnant 2 weeks after he proposed.

0

That would depend on the some are great to be around some are a night mare but a mom with a well behaved no problem.

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