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Should I talk to the boy?

I've got a friend who, due to divorce, only sees her 15 year old son a few times a year. He is visiting her now. She tells me that he stays on his gaming system from the time he wakes up until he goes to bed, with breaks only for eating and toileting. She is rightfully sad that he doesn't want to spend time with her, but she doesn't want to put a guilt trip on him to spend time with her. The boy hardly knows me at all. Should I approach him and ask him to rethink the time he (doesn't) spend with his mom? I hate to see her feel this way, on the otherhand, I'm not involved and it's not my business. What say you?

Jlangston70 7 July 30

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13 comments

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0

If she's not going to engage him or spend time with him...what is the point of putting him through the visitations. This is a HUGE parenting FAIL. She either needs to step up to the plate or sign away her parental rights.

0

She needs to take him on excursions somewhere. Canoeing, the zoo, museum, movie, amusement park, fishing. Something to occupy him other than his addiction.

0

I agree with the other comments stating that she needs to get him out of the house. It's bad enough to only see him a few times a year, she shouldn't let this visit pass without actually interacting with him.

1

It may be that the boy uses the gaming system as a shield because he fears rejection by this mom whom he sees so seldom. Mom needs to make a plan for a day that involves an outing and an adventure, even a lame adventure, sans electronics and take the kid somewhere. Even on a hike, if money is an issue. Mom may need to get assertive to get this going. But it has to be mom that does it.

Deb57 Level 8 July 31, 2018
0

do they have a good relationship if not you are just going to exacerbate any standing negative feelings its up to her to at least introduce a few days where they are not in the house and doing stuff together meal out cinema etc i imagine hes using his games system to keep in contact with friends at home

weeman Level 7 July 31, 2018
1

Sorry for your friend but this isn't your responsibility. He doesn't know you well and might see you approaching him as a threat and become more distant towards his mom.

1

Get him laid.

Ah yes... The Navy's answer to all problems.
😉

@bigpawbullets Yeah... if thoughts and prayers fail there is always the ladies more useable than gamepads or joysticks.

1

She's blowing it as a mom and you can't fix it for her. Instead of talking to him you might want to talk to her about parenting a teenager.

2

Think a better way is to invite to go toss a ball shoot a bow or even a board game do not get discouraged if he does not want to do it right away however some descriptive shuttle detail and this will help him be curious about the subject. I think if you enforce the spend time thing he could go rebellious.

azzow2 Level 9 July 30, 2018
4

No for sure.

You could help her come up with something interactive for them to do where electronics are not involved. Something he would enjoy. Teenagers are tough.

This.

2

I'd try to talk to him some, but not about that. See if you can get him engaged or interested in something else, even briefly. Once you're talking, you can feel your way into the situation and maybe get an idea where he's at.

4

No, it's her responsibility to talk to her son about their relationship. It doesn't have to be a guilt trip or manipulation. I would vote against you getting involved.

0
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