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Why are you labeling me?

Why is it a man can date a younger woman and there's no word for it yet when I date a younger man I'm called a cougar, a MILF or a GILF? I've even been called a pedophile! Also the younger woman that dates older men are called a gold digger and a lot of other inappropriate names. Why do men get to be human and women get to be labeled?

SonderOpia 8 Jan 13
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27 comments

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13

I think it's because people just can't mind their own damned business, and feel compelled to comment on everything other people do.

i knew i could rely on you!

10

Patriarchal social models prevail. If I open my mouth and speak up, sometimes just like a man, I am labeled a pushy bitch, liberal fem, etc. I wonder if the men on this site are more or less comfortable with themselves and view woemn on a more equal footing. ALL religions have men in control and THAT really chaps my butt. Some ancient belief systems had women on more equal footing. The whole dating scene and 'modern' concepts is frustrating, if a couple can get beyond hte teasing from well (or not) meaning friends I believe what damn difference does age make? not my biz what they do, how they do it or with whom (as they are consenting adults) they do it.

8

Women also get labeled, "slut" and men don't. It's not right.

I've heard lots of people call men sluts.

Men get the manwhore where I’m from, and still called sluts. But I agree there is bias, a key that can open any door is great, not a door that can be opened by any key. When culture stops seeing people like objects, things might change.

I have heard the term man whore, I fear it doesn't quite take on the same context though.

@azzow2 but To a man being a man whore is a compliment.

I'd been labeled a slut and manwhore. And my response always is... "you right".

There is no such thing as a slut. People just like sex.

I've heard them refered to as manwhores or sluts as well. It isn't so much what they are labeled that is a problem. When a woman is outed as a slut the attitude is a negative one. She is looked at badly, as trash with no self respect. When a guy is given those labels they are still looked at positively, as studs and even praised. It isn't so much the labels but the attitudes that get me.

Your point, unlike the one that began this thread, is a double standard. I've never liked when people are labeled a slut and I've never used the word to describe someone.

7

Join the club. My last boyfriend was 25 years younger than me. I was at a singles group function at a dance club in Boston and he sought me out. For some strange reason it worked and our friends teased I was robbing the cradle and being a Cougar. We laughed at it. Tried long distance and it eventually ended-we're still friends 6 years later. Before that I had a ten year relationship with someone that was 8 years younger. I looked younger and dated younger before that. No more labels please.

my now ex-husband was 14 years younger than I was. I don't look my age and yet I had people ask me if he was my son. That really pissed me off. He damn near looks my age.

I went to my 45th high school reunion with my boyfriend. A few of my classmates were saying how young I looked and who was that with me?

6

I think women who date younger men are women. I think women who date older men are women.
Anything else is bs.

6

But men do get labelled - such as sugar daddy, baby snatcher and toy boy.

I've only heard sugar daddy. I've not heard the other two before now. And I thought sugar daddy was a wealthy man who takes care of younger, pretty women. Mostly strippers LOL.

@SonderOpia That's pretty much what I think "sugar daddy" means. And I've always heard it as "boy toy."

5

Cradle snatchers? Sugar Daddies, pedophiles? Guys get it too, also toy boy etc.

5

I've wondered this, too. It certainly seems the labels originate from a straight male dominance mindset, but it doesn't address why the US society accepts and even embraces such labels.

Or why they elected a man that refers to women tas disgusting fat pigs or having a dogface when they disagree with him and does not do that to his male counter parts or a man who calls a woman not attractive enough to rape when accused of sexual assault

5

I think men get called plenty of names too. Anything not mainstream gets targeted, regardless of gender. Namecalling is never good.

skado Level 9 Jan 13, 2018
4

Men get called cradle robbers or dirty old men. There are labels for us too.

Humans categorize and label, it's what we do. Sometimes it sucks.

4

My hair is JUST beginning to grey, and I'm told I look 10-15 years younger. I dated a 22 yo when I was 33 for a short time. Last year I dated someone 11 years younger, but he had trouble with the truth. I want them within 5 years of my age, but as men age, they seem to prefer younger and younger partners. I'll just stick with BOB.

BOB Will Never Let You Down unless you run out of batteries LOL.

4

It as with anything else in life, most men wrongly believe they are the superior sex.

@Hellbent well aren't you clever LOL.

3

My stars someone actually invented a word for it.

"manther"

Thank you for the laugh.

3

Because men are the ones who "write" the norms...but don't forget that Viagra is the drug most sold in the history of the world medicine.

Yeah. Ironic isn't it that men can get Viagra but Trump is trying to prevent women from getting birth control or abortions. It is ridiculous. A lot of it is because of religion pushing people to procreate which maybe made sense a few hundred years ago...

If men were the ones who got pregnant, you could probably get an abortion in a drive through.

@shockwaverider Well, he wants to populate the Sahara, Siberia and the N/S Poles. lol

2

I'm not convinced that when an older man is dating a youger girl he is not called anything. You may be right on the point that there isn't "a" word for it. Thats because it's a 3 word label. "Dirty old man" is the term ive heard used for an older man dating a younger woman. So I'm not so sure that men just "get to live" in that scenario.

2

Uh, there IS a word for guys who date younger women. A "manther".

A RHINO is an older man looking for a younger woman.

...and like others have mentioned, older guys get called every name in the book for dating younger women.

Never heard those before. heh

@BookDeath That's RINO lol

1

Gender inequality. It does not matter how you look at it, it is all about the notion that men are somehow better than women. I may be a man, but I recognize the inequality there and it extends into every reach.

1

Fuck 'em. When I was in college I preferred older women. Dated one woman who was 38 and one who was 34. It's so nice to be with a woman who has an idea who she is and what she wants. It's my experience that most women don't become truly attractive until their 30's while many men never reach that level of maturity. I am very grateful for those older women.

1

You are only a pedophile if you date boys under 18. Otherwise it's nobody's business.

actually it's prepubescent children but either way I don't date anyone under the age of 21.

1

Think a unisex terminology is robbing the cradle. The call us men skirt chasers and shovinest.

1

Labeling occurs on both sides of the fence. When I was much younger, I dated a lot of older women. A few people made remarks. We ignored it. Then they stopped.

1

Because religion and politics, mostly conservatives.

1

You find the answer to this question in history of your culture and religion moral.

0

Here are some other labels men get called for dating younger women. Manther, Gray Dog, Daddy Warbuck$.

0

I believe men are starting to get labeled also, but I don't see why it is anybody's business.

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