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Have you ever been devastated by a lie?

I feel this way after I was told a heartbreaking lie last month by a man friend. The hurt that you feel when being lied to, is it devastating to you?

Sheannutt 9 Aug 11
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36 comments

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0

Lies destroyed my life as I knew it. Still trying to fix things. So yes, devastated & then some. Sorry it happened to you to.

Carin Level 8 Sep 24, 2018
1

yes. i'd prefer not to go into detail, but yes. it's the hardest thing to get over.

g

1

It's a family thing for me. I might forgive, but I don't forget, and because of that, a lot of conversations are directed around and about me, but rarely to me. If I call anyone on it, I'm accused of being overly sensitive.

0

Yes.

2

Yes... One of the worst things you can do to a person is to betray their trust.. imo...

@Sheannutt It's especially FUN when you don't see it coming. 😛

2

It is devastating. A betrayal beyond words when the heart is involved. It took me a long time to pick up the broken pieces.

0

Yes.

Coldo Level 8 Aug 12, 2018
0

Being a healthy skeptic the terms love, religion, political promises, insurance premiums, stock reports, medical advice from a Doctor and not a Nurse. I'm not married or ever have been, am an Independent by Political Affiliation. The Legal System in this Country is becoming more and more psychotic each and every day. Agnostics are very skeptic people which is why we are on this website. I was able to see that the light at the end of the tunnel was not a beacon of light.

0

Yes. When you give genuine trust to someone and they lie to you it is devastating.

1

I'm devastated by all of Trump's lies! His lies have the potential to generate so much harm!

Gmak Level 7 Aug 11, 2018
0

My ex told me (tells me!) he loves me, but he also says (said for years) everything is all my fault and I'm evil. Lies hurt and from a loved one cause serious misgivings about my own judgment, as I'm not capable of knowing even my own feelings-according to him. 18 years of that building up in my head. I'm out and doing very well. But trusting my heart to someone will take time, even if I find someone worth trusting.

Holli Level 6 Aug 11, 2018
0

When my intuition told me my wife was cheating and she swore he was just a friend. It turns out my intuition was spot on.

Actually it was the lie that hurt more than the cheating. If she had come to me and asked if we could have an open relationship I would have agreed.

1

Yes, it happened in business, client rep. denied giving me permission to publish graphic of my work, only to find out the pres. didn't want it published.

3

One time a former wife told me that her friend was just that and he meant nothing to her and all the letters I had found were from him and she did not feel the same way. Based on that I let her go halfway around the world to be with her sick mother and take our daughter. In the end I found this was all planned. Unfortunately, it was my daughter that suffered the most. BTW way she and her entire family are evangelical Christians.
However, don't let this discourage you in the future. To do so would only hurt you. There are still lots of honest people out there.

1

Yep re my ex and her drinking problem...when you put all your trust in someone and they lie of course it hurts. Devastated? No. Need to move on but it reduces the chances of trusting someone again.

lerlo Level 8 Aug 11, 2018
1

Yeah, my last relationship lol

1

Lies by omission: After my husband died, I found out that I was his 5th wife (I thought I was the 3rd), and that he had taken me off of his life insurance policy.

@Sheannutt It was a difficult time. It was also a catalyst for me to make some positive changes in my life. I'm in a better place now than I was when I was married.

1

I'll help, I'll be there for you. Fucking bullshit. I will never trust anyone, including me, again.

1

Sure have... Now I'm divorced partly because of it...

3

Yeah, she said she loved me, but I was just convinient.

Yep. He said he cares about me but that was not true either

1

We discover many lies told us along the way through life. The devastating ones are so in relation to the personal 'belief investment' we've made in them and the consequent things we have done for ourselves and worse yet, TO others because of those lies.

Precisely because coming to know truth can be painful, and devastating to our security in so many ways, we are most often loathe to know the full truth about anything. Having beliefs and attached obligations and actions based on them suddenly erased is extremely traumatic and disorienting!

Consider the best example I know of. A woman has been programmed from earliest memory to become a ward/dependent of her husband. Promises and tokens of promises from a man who is often conditioned himself to shirk true morality (boys will be boys) with biased, assigned gender based excuses lies (sometimes believing his own lies) to her as a means of forming a family. Her entire physical sustenance and financial security is tied to that - dubious business deal.

After some time, sometimes only in months, she starts 'feeling' as though something isn't quite comfortable. His habits start to become mysterious. The brain function in her 'gut' is flagging things that are inconsistent. Suspicion, perhaps not even on a conscious level, begins to form. Fear of possibilities for her alone or alone with children start to also creep into her thoughts. He lies, makes excuses and she dutifully accepts them on the surface while alarms are blazing in the pit of her stomach. Fear increases at the prospect of naked, unprepared independence!

At base, she doesn't WANT to know. Knowing calls upon one to take action and her field of options for action is barren; save possible marginal support from family or friends.

Fear of truth isn't isolated to my example but the description exemplifies the fear of freedom; fear of asserting personal, independent positions in the face of 'having been had'.

We in this congregation of god rejectors have experienced such emotions and recriminations as part of our own escapes from doctrinal fabrications of sheer fantasy and intentional falsehoods. Some of us have escaped those sophisticated articulations of religious lies, only to cling desperately to equally parasitic and grossly false political ideologies, parties and movements; equally ignorant, spoon-fed attitudes as price for membership as a 'true' Conservative, Liberal, Progressive, Socialist et al...

The truth does in fact set one free! The terror invoking question is: Are you prepared for freedom or dependent upon the lies for your emotional and financial 'security'?

1

Devastated? No.
Irritated? Yes.

consider yourself a lucky man

@Savage
I always have my friend. 😉

@bigpawbullets Me too, her names Saska, 😉

3

Yes, and l have also been devasted by the truth.

1

Of course. It's always worse when you know it's a lie from the very beginning and know exactly why the other person is lying but he/she won't admit to the real reason.

2

Yes

My first fiancé lying about her friendship with a coworker.

They are married for 32 years now.

That would hurt. I hope it's a consolation that there's a world of hurt out there. Maybe not...

It all worked out eventually. She actually reached out to me through LinkedIn about two years ago and we occasionally message each other. It took me years to get over her but it’s a long time ago.

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