I was raised a true believer and remained one until almost 40. My crises of conscience came from the religion itself. They came out and demanded that followers couldn’t disagree with anything said by them. I began to read the history of the church and learned the truth about them. It still took me years to completely divorce myself from religious indoctrination. Time and dedication to the truth changed my perspective.

It was a very difficult transition. i began to think of it as a journey, or a return to myself. i thought of myself as a again. innocent, well meaning. then the world or environment changed me, influenced me, damaged me. when i look around me i see adults still getting their asses kicked by unresolved childhood trauma. i decided i was a wonderful human being. i learned to give myself the things i needed and previously got from a social club called church. i no longer needed an imaginary sky daddy to love me, forgive me, or approve of my once i loved forgave and approved of myself. i volunteer. i am a world class father and grandfather. do not identify yourself with your work, as men often do. identify you by the things you do away from work. like volunteering or being a parent etc.

Initially I lost my religion through apathy of being a teenager. I realized through several traumatic experiences how little my parents, teachers, pastors actually know about what the fuck is going on. I focused on my creativity and learning. I explored comparative religious studies to see what fundamental assumptions are different in eastern spirituality compared to western. I disabused myself of the notions that any sort of Christian based morality was leading to a more politically upright nation. Ultimately in formulating my own understanding of how things interconnect, I can’t recommend psychedelic substances and funk music enough.

Your miles may vary, but continue observing how others were taught to think. Conpare and contrast with your own struggles, and practice mindfulness meditation until you learn to calm your own engrained guilt. Indulge in your hedonistic and creative pursuits of choice with quality individuals and purely unentitled, kind motives when possible and you’ll figure it out. I’m still figuring it out too, but I’ve let go of a lot of the weight that was foisted on my shoulders by religion, and getting lighter every day.

Remember, the people who taught you all the hocus pocus you were so sure of as a child were as clueless and childish as anyone else. Let their assertions go and carefully make and manage some of your own, adjusting along the way until you stumble upon some truth. It’s scary at first when you let go of god; you may feel like you’re suddenly walking this tightrope without a net. But as you relax and ease into the waters of self assurance you’ll realize there never was any net, no place you can fall to that you haven’t already been, and there’s really no gravity saying you’ve got to stick to the rope at all. All you gave up was a lopsided balance pole that you were constantly compensating for and a pair of ankle weights keeping you down. Hot yoga and a puff of cannabis will accelerate this realization for many but again find whatever practice you dig.

Focus your intentions on the activities and people who make you feel alive and present, not depressed about the past or anxious about the future. Your life only has what meaning and purpose you willfully give it by daily practice. Make it a good one, and have as much fun as possible while you’re at it.

I was raised in a conservative Mormon family going back 5 generations. It has taken a major shift in my thinking to walk away from mormonism and eventually all religion.
One of the earliest shifts I made was to trust my own insights over other's opinions. I was gaslighted a lot so I learned to value my own thoughts over what others would tell me.
I joined a support group early in my disaffection. This helped me feel like I wasn't alone and that there wasn't something wrong with me.
I exposed myself to contradicting information then used critical thinking skills to analyze my beliefs and the new information
I learned to be comfortable with not knowing everything. Religion taught me that we "know" everything, we know our purpose, who God loves, and who is going to heaven. I had to learn to say, I don't know.
I studied fallacies like strawman, slippery slope, etc. So I could recognize errors in people's arguments.
I learned about cognitive dissonance, sunk cost fallacy, and confirmation bias and readily applied them to my own thoughts.
My path took me from Mormonism to Christianity, then to agnosticism. At each phase I often felt empty, that I wasn't whole, or something was missing. I eventually realized it was a sense of community that I needed. I learned to fill this gap with groups such as this. Meet up groups also became important to me and I could find groups of people that I actually have things in common with, such as photography . It is a journey and one day you look back and marvel at the changes you made

I filled in as youth pastor one summer when ours left to start a new church b/c "God told me too"....which subsequently failed (guess God was wrong, huh). I started studying the bible, both the text and the history, b/c I didn't want to get anything wrong. I had doubts before, but finally couldn't keep up the delusion.

It is a hard process, esp when you consider most people have been religious longer than they have been married, and just look at the emotional pain caused by a divorce when you have only known someone 5-10-15 years, much less your whole life. Loosing ones identity, friends, support group, and the foundation of one's life is hard....and it takes a while to get your feet planted again and figure out who you are in this new world, but I don't regret walking away from the lies. I am more lonely in some regards, but the friends I have now are true friends b/c they like me, not b/c I'm in their Sunday Social Club. I feel much more stable and happy now in quality relationships, both with myself and others. If you've seen the movie "The Matrix", it's kinda like the dialogue between Trinity and Cypher - do you want to live in reality, or do you want to live in an illusion b/c it's more palatable?

If you think it will help...I will pray for you! LOL Hope you find some people you can connect to. Here is a good start, but look for actual human interaction with someone in your community - that will help you during this process. Best of luck!

I can't say I was ever a fervent believer, and that my identity was wrapped up with my beliefs. But I did identify myself as a believer, and while it didn't stick I did try. when I moved to college I went through a period where I just ignored the question all together, it wasn't until grad school that I sat down to figure out what I actually believed and what I didn't. I never had to really struggle with losing an identity that I was deeply invested in, but christianity and other religions do provide a framework for building your identity and in rejecting that I did have to create an identity almost from scratch. I was pretty fortunate, I went through this at a time where I was in grad school for something that I loved and still love, and something that I find incredible important. I work with college kids and I help them be successful for the 4 years that I have them, and help them transition to the next stage of their lives, so I find a lot of my value in my profession. I would recommend figuring out things that you enjoy, that are important to you, look around and see what is the change you want to see in the world and then figure out how you can work towards that. Before your value was measured on how well you measured up to a prescribed list, now you have the freedom to set that list for yourself, which is daunting, but liberating.

I was actually studying to become a missionary with the belief that all Faith's were actually the same just with different cultural understandings. So I studied every religion I could over two and a half years. The more I studied, the less faith I had, but the more certain I became that was right in a different sense. Religion is a form of political control.

For me, the loss of faith was freeing. It actually allowed me to me more moral, fair, just, and equitable without religion clogging up the works.

As to sense of purpose, it is probably different for me since I am a teacher, which I see as the highest calling, but I never felt the lack. Find a cause you believe in such as animal rescue, the environment, the community, etc.

Thanks for all the great replies, everyone. I realize I'm still struggling with the brainwashing of my childhood that told me if I didn't do the church-sanctioned "to do" list than I'm a evil/worthless/horrible person. Even after I can reason things out in my head, it still takes time for the rest of me to work through those deep-seeded emotions. It'll take time but I'm confident that I'm moving in the right direction.

I was lucky in that even as I was raised going to Church and such I was also raised by two very educated and progressive parents and a grandma who while religious was also fascinated by the History of the Bible. They combined the ethics of the Christian faith with a sound understanding of reason and thought. Not to say they did not have their religious bias. But more then anything they were about a love of knowledge and love as a choice and a willing duty for each other and their children. They taught me that love is hard but worth it. I learned from them the I think priceless realization that as a child many adults are as lost or more lost then you and everyone is deserving of respect irrelevant of age/gender/race etc. For you I would say what of concrete value can you take from your past? Can you change from value based on God to a sense of personal value based on you as a person, your skills, talents and knowledge! And why not if not? Be honest about your faults, make goals for the future and take comfort in the knowledge that want happens after you die does not matter. What matters is what you do here and now.

Born Jew, adopted by Lutherans, Had god hammered into me from the earliest memories.

The first doubts came with the Sunday school story of the Rainbow being a sign from god. When I ask, "are you telling me god changed the nature of water and or light, before the flood water droplets did not refract light like a prism?

That got me 3 licks with the oldman’s belt and told to never question god. To avoid more sessions of getting my butt beat, I went along with the con game and I suppose I more or less accepted the existence of a god.

Then, in Southeast Asia, when the Chaplain blessed us before we flew off to drop bombs and Napalm on people who had never brought fighting machines to New Orleans nor dropped bombs and Napalm on my home, alarms started going off.

By the time I returned to the US, I was a full blown, Militant atheist. This caused a deep riff with the family, so deep that I completely wrote them off before 1980. Never saw the adopted parents again, no regrets.

I never consciously thought about needing a meaning of life. I also never expected to live for over 7 decades. Just how long can a person get away with trying to fly a more perfect loop, push a motorcycle a little deeper into the corner, solo sail another Ocean? I always expected today to be my last day and lived accordingly.

Looking back, raising my son and my nice and nephew with my brother on the boats was probably the most fulfilling part of my life. After that, being alone in the middle of the ocean or should I say in the middle of the Universe?

My purpose in life, when I was a believer, was all about winning souls. The friends I made and things I've done for others ALL had one motive in mind. And that was to point others to Jesus. Since I do not believe in that Christian god anymore, my motives seem to be more genuine. I'm coming to love and accept other people whether or not they'd join my club!

My folks were Baptist fundamentalist, but I didn't follow. By the time I was a teenager, I'd decided it was a fable, and they were full of it.

I feel like I could have written this post.

Don't worry yourself so much just live there is no purpose

I didnt really shift anything because it was never there for me to begin with. I was raised catholic. I went to church every sunday, i went to bible study etc. For my first communion, which was important to my parents, I wore a borrowed dress because we couldnt afford one. This probably solidified my athiesm. I think I was 8 years old. Also my teeth were crooked and full of cavities. I was a happy child but the tradition of the first communion is full of pageantry, and I just didnt fit in. I smiled big for my photo. when I looked at my photo I knew that nothing magical happened that day. I was not closer to god or anything.

Interesting question. I was raised in an Anabaptist community/church. I have always admired the people I was around—they were good-hearted folks. For me, it was sort of an organic process, sort of like arriving at the conclusion that there was no Santa or Easter Bunny. I knew at a very early age that what was taught in the Bible was quite implausible, and as a , it was confusing that the adults around me believed in this. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I felt a modicum of comfort expressing my beliefs (or rather, my lack thereof) to like-minded friends. It was difficult because, as I mentioned, I really adored the community and its people. I learned a lot of positive values from my church -- philanthropy, stewardship, and service to others. Especially service to others. It was nice to be surrounded by people who helped you out because they wanted to do so, and not out of a sense of obligation.

So I suppose that you could say that a large part of my personality was formed by exposure to a community that valued doing the right thing, and doing so authentically. I can appreciate this for what it is and still respect the beliefs of others (as long as they don't infringe on my freedoms). My understanding is the peace church is quite different from other brands of Christianity.

I listened to a lot of Alan Watts on youtube. It helped immensely.

Mu movement away from religion was a gradual, seemingly natural process. It started with small doubts growing larger, and with dissatisfaction over feeling sinful over having natural thoughts and drives. As I moved away from religion, I never felt lost.

Coming into contact with existential philosophy in my early 30s helped. The existentialist point ov view is that no one will ever understand or know us for what we are, and that we are basically alone. But that is not reason for despair, but freedom to to grow and to be who we want to be. Life has no inherent meaning and we create our own meanings by our own thoughts, decisions, and actions. We are responsible for our own decisions and actions and for the consequences that ensure from them, for in each case, we could have chosen otherwise. Once we get over the initial shock of the existential point of view, it is an empowering and enabling world view.

I was raised religious, but always had doubts. I just was not free to express my doubts until i was an adult.

So what's making you question religion? Once you look into that and figure out where you stand, you will seek answers. I was raised by an Irish catholic mother and when I got into my teens I questioned religion. I never felt like it fit me. I never really drank the koolaid. So I just went on with my life and respected people's beliefs. I don't think we have to shout on out to the world, you can I'd you want to, but if someone asks about what I think, I will tell them. I know you were a true believer, so I'm sure its different for you. We are all searching for the answers to life.

I found books to be comforting to me. The book "Freethinkers", written by Susan Jacoby, and Carl Sagan's book "The Demon Haunted World" were both instrumental to my understanding the history of secular thinking. Seek out books about secular humanism also. They may provide you with alternate ways to view your life and what comes next. Just remember the words of Robert Ingersoll: "Secularism teaches us to be good here and now...its end and aim is to make this world better every day--to do away with poverty and crime, and to cover the world with happy and contented homes." This merges with what it means to be a Progressive also.

You'd better "value" your life because it's all you've got. You have a short amount of time to make the biggest impact possible on what matters to you.

Hmm I would not say mine was deep but I began to question religion a week or so after the Sandy Hook shooting. Then when Trump was picked to be the GOP boy I really stopped. But when nazis march on Chartletville I really left.