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Ever spent time around someone who was a perfectionist?

Have you ever been a perfectionists or had a SO, family member, or close friend who was one? What were your experiences (good and bad)?

TheAstroChuck 8 Aug 28
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26 comments

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5

I'm around a perfectionist all the time and it's really frustrating because he's never happy with anything. I live alone by the way.

3

In retirement I'm trying to get myself to stop it. I have always been extremely hard on myself -- much harder than I am on others. I actually had an instructor in grad school say: Carol, anything worth doing is worth doing badly" because I wouldn't start anything I wasn't sure I could do perfectly. Of course I never achieved that standard. What worked for me is becoming more familiar with the Amish community. When Amish women make their wonderful quilts they deliberately put in a noticeable mistake. They do it because they say only God is perfect.The religion stuff aside, it comforts me because it reminds me that perfection is an impossible goal.

3

Spent my whole entire life with one. Me. It can be excruciating. Stressful. Everything takes so long to do or it never gets done because it’s not perfect. My parents are perfectionists so I grew up expected to be perfect and was always criticized or humiliated for not being perfect. I never did anything right.

And how do you deal with someone who isn't quite such a perfectionist?

@Sticks48 Not well but at the same time they make me learn that imperfection is ok.

3

I don’t think so, but I’m going to correct the orientation of your profile pic and get back to you on that.

3

Yep. My employee overperforms, but can’t manage her emotional response to imperfections or weaknesses in others. She is tense and angry all the time. I can’t promote her, as she can’t be tolerant towards errors in others.

Livia Level 6 Aug 28, 2018
3

I am too much of a perfectionist to have to deal with a perfectionist.

2

I lived with someone who thought they were a perfectionist. It was a nice word for annoying.

2

Yeah, I see that bitch in the mirror every morning!!

???

I don’t know if I would go so far as to say perfectionistic, but I’m definitely a neat freak, an organizational freak (yes, my spices are alphabetical), and very particular about aesthetics of legal documents I work on at work.

@TheAstroChuck Ouch!!

Funny!!

2

Considering that the church background I was from is predicated upon the doctrine of Christian perfection.[en.m.wikipedia.org]. , I would say yes . While I feel that maturity , and nobility of character are worthwhile objectives , perfectionism creates an overwhelming standard to try to live up to , especially when you feel that your standing before God is at stake .

2

Perfection, no. Excellence, yes. The latter, when applied reasonably with a capable and intelligent partner, is wonderful.

2

Yes. My boyfriend who died was over the top OCD. I loved it the way he would come home and automatically sweep the floor even if I had already done it. He was so fussy about his clothes, hair, personal hygiene, everything. Some people woud find it annoying but that was one of the things I loved about him. I miss him so much but am learning to move on. I just hate trying to find another, thinking of him.

1

I lived with one for about 6 years and it drove me nuts! Part of my shared responsibility for our living arrangement was dusting. He would follow me around and move everything 1.4 of an inch . I finally demanded that he stop and at least wait until I was out of the room. I hated that!

@TheAstroChuck The relationship only lasted about 5 years. I was living in the midwest and I moved to California - about as far away as I could get. I couldn't take it any more. 🙂

1

Does OCD count? My last girlfriend had that. I broke it off because she couldn't accept my son. She got upset at him for putting his feet on a lawn chair, I had to point out the LAWN part of lawn chair.
I do miss her though, give her a golf ball and a garden hose...............

1

How about my boss? Impossible to please and points out even the tiniest mistake. Did the flight I booked get you to the correct city and back again? Yes. Was your rental car reserved? Yes. Was your hotel reserved? Yes. But thank you for pointing out I spelled Avenue wrong!

1

Do never-wrongs count? My ex.

godef Level 7 Aug 28, 2018

@TheAstroChuck We once argued over whether rap was art. Guess what her POV was.

1

Yep 24/7. It’s part of what I do. But I don’t expect it though.

@TheAstroChuck I settle for a 90% or greater solution.

@TheAstroChuck aim for the stars and capture the moon.

1

Myself.

1

I resemble that remark.

1

im guessing someone who,s job entailed developing and analyzing data from space flight instruments has a fair streak of perfectionism running through them at least i hope they do this would be no place for a good enough attitude i feel 😛

1

a very former SO wasn't a perfectionist unless it regarded my doings.....that didn't work for me.

@TheAstroChuck yes, mountains of my molehills was often enough the subject of conversation.

0

I used to work for under a team leader who was a J.W. and a perfectionist. The trouble was that his idea of perfection seemed idiosyncratic and unpredictable to me and others. There was no correct way that wasn't his way. Women shouldn't be test engineers according to him and he pushed out a promising young lady by making life uncomfortable for her. If I ever did things my way he would correct me publicly. After he left our department, he had an area of his own to work in where the air conditioning duct served both him and a production department. He kept channeling the air to his department because he was too hot, depriving the other dept. of any cooling at all. Eventually he left, thank goodness.

0

My parents, using both mental & physical " encouragement" insisted upon it! ("Only an A! Why not A+"??)
So of course I married, very young, a guy Who beat me because I was not perfect.
Over it now.....

@TheAstroChuck Thank you! Since I love my life now, and who i am, I must say it was all for the best, I guess......

0

I'm usually fairly laid back, and I let a lot of shit slide.
But when it comes to the music I write I am a true perfectionist.
Now matter what I do to a song, I always thing it could be better, I'm never satisfied. I've changed some of my songs so many times to get it just right, that sometimes the song isn't any where like the original.

0

My middle child claimed to be a perfectionist. From time to time, I would ask how the conclusion was reached. Far from the easiest kid.

0

I like things done right. Is that the same thing?

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