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Advice needed please

I have been born and raised (and subsequently am currently raising my 3 children) in a very strict religious environment. I have, over an extended period of time, had my eyes opened to exactly what nonsense I had come to believe as reality. I would walk away today in a heartbeat but the problem is that every family member, every coworker (I work for minimum wage for the church-yes literally minimum wage-while the pastor and all his family live in million dollar homes), every friend, are all wrapped in this religion and my children are 100% in it to win it at this point (15, 13, and 11). How in the world do I explain to them all of a sudden that everything they know- everything they’ve been taught in christian school, everyone they know, everything I’ve ever told them is all a lie???? I have contacted a secular therapist to try to schedule an appointment (very hard to find deep in the Bible Belt) but I could you some immediate advice from the atheistic masses please and thank you

CoCoCatina 4 Sep 1
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36 comments (26 - 36)

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1

Move to a better place. See if you can find a good attorney to sue the church for unpaid benefits, report the pastor for tax evasion.

zesty Level 7 Sep 26, 2018
1

I to live in the BB missouri. It is very difficult to be athiest. You must seek out like minded people near you to keep sane. You must slowly move to a new job and friends. I'm working on this, but I do get lonely for a voice of reason.

1

Wow...ure in a hard spot being that it is so much a part of your job and lively-hood. Doesn't surprise me they don't pay you crap though, but hey, they'll be happy to pray for you, just as long as they don't have to actually DO anything, right? I would be very careful with this, they will most likely fire you in a heart beat. Family is an issue, but you won't be hungry and homeless if they have a problem with it, so for now tread cautious till you can find another job...and start looking immediately!!! I think that should be your #1 priority at this point.

Here is a link that lists a few different support groups that may be in your area and able to help. [sobernation.com] You could also reach out to [atheists.org] and [atheist-experience.com]. They may know of some resources available. I remember at one time finding a site for pastors that left the faith, but can't seem to find the link anymore.

1
  1. Congratulations
  2. Welcome to a bigger world
  3. There are already good advices and I won't be repetitive
  4. Religion has one thing right and do not underestimate it, it is called community, and they are cruel because they strip you out of it when you live the church, this is the reason of most of the "destroyed lives out of Jesus". So build up around you (this site is good for it, but also facebook and other meeting points) of healthy people that do not mind your religious (or lack of religious) position.
  5. Read a lot, in one or 2 years you will probably learn more about your old religioin than your whole life.
1

Put out applications - get another job - until then you can't say a word because you can't work for a church and then tell them that they're bat sh@t nuts. Once you get another job, you don't need to say anything - if you don't want to attend church services - don't. When it comes to your kids - don't tell them that what they believe is false - tell them that you came to believe that what you once had faith in doesn't work for you anymore and then let them make their own decisions. Live your life for you and if you're happy with where you are in your life - that's all that matters.

1

This book may help regarding religious messages about sexuality.

UUNJ Level 8 Sep 3, 2018
1

I guess I am the last person who should be answering as I never had a god ever - but at a humanistic level I realise your plight - I am really sorry that this is happening to you and this isnt advice and I don't know much about your culture, (I'm english), or your options, but would suggest that you move your family to a more accomodating State which could solve a few problems as children usually want to fit in wherever they are put. Moving would also mean meeting other children who have different ideas and ideals so might be one way to go.

0

...you are part of thier "comfort zone"; be patient
as you reaffirm your needs ,that these individuals
cannot meet. Because they are living a fantasy
that is culturally encouraged; there is going to be a range of reactions - choose with care which
which relationships u value and choose to
continue. Be encouraged by others(aquaintantces,public figures,ECT) who
are available to demonstrate that they are in
touch with reality(they can safely live without
religion) !!!
Thanks for a good post!be confident that
u are doing the right thing- for u and them!!

0

If you could find a job and a place to stay a ways away from those religous nuts you are working for now I think it would be easier to get your kids loose from all the religous indoctrination they’ve had but I’m sure it will take time and they may never recover from it. I’m the only atheist in my family and they know it. They generally don’t press me on my lack of religous beliefs and I don’t press my views on them. If they do press me on my lack of beliefs I show them the following pictures.

0

Tough one, bro - or sis - leave the area? - and then start telling your children how you feel - just share - don't try to change their views - they will change if they want to

0

I would look for and get some books on this issue - I have read ideas that were stated much better and much clearer than what I could have done. Use a casual non - threatening manner to little by little introduce your ideas, like about Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc etc. These are charming stories that enhance our lives and add fun to them. Start suggesting that religion is also necessary but not really like the wealthy pastors want us to believe. There is a hilarious song by Hank Williams Jr that has a line,''. they say to give your money to the Lord but they give you their address '''. Slow and easy is my advice.

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