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Hi. Here is a question: have you changed a cherished opinion you held based on new evidence? Can you give an example? I used to think that sharing a child half half between two households of separated parents was a bad idea. I thought: have one main home, mother or father, and another that the child goes to visit, not two equal homes. But based on an expert discourse I heard on this, and the research she quoted, I changed my mind, and think shared between two homes can work well. What view have you changed?

ZebZaman 6 Jan 21

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21 comments

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3

I used to think everyone had good intentions in life. I learned that the hard way. I was a younger adult then. I was naive.

3

I used to believe there was at least some good in all people, life has taught me otherwise. As for kids sharing separated parents & diff households it can work fine & is even the norm in some countries. Certainly better than being trapped with parents involved in a toxic relationship.

2

I used to be a theist, then I was an atheist, and now I'm an agnostic? Does that count? 🙂

2

Ohhhhhh. I don't want to start any arguments but it is a big example for me. I will start by saying it is just a big shift in my personal thinking. A change in my opinion. I used to think the Democratic Party was all in for helping the average worker, and not corrupt. My entire life I was a proud Democrat, and I'm 55 years old. After the 2016 primary my views had changed and it broke my heart. I went through a lot of cognitive dissonance and anger and sadness.....the stages of grief. Let me end by saying that what the GOP has become causes me even more pain than that, and since I put it out there feel free to voice your opposition to this comment. I will only respond if I read something I haven't heard or thought of before.

You have no argument from me in this regard. To me, from the outside, it looks like a lot is wrong with your political system, the money spent on campaigns, how the press covers things. Like: I NEVER heard Bernie mentioned for a very long time, and only learned about him through facebook. ( I watch quite a bit of CNN) But it was trump trump trump non stop, long before he won the primaries... a lot of negative attention, but still attention, and normalizing his ... insane ways. I think he was talked up. And Bernie Sanders was "totgeschwiegen", good German term meaning not talked to death but death by silence, by ignoring.

1

I was pro Hillary Clinton in the last election. Between trump and Comey attaching her I defended all the accusations being thrown at her. Now I've learned more about the Deep State and how Dems and Pubs both were involved in our Secret Govt. I am now paying closer attention to what politicians stand for.

I was honestly glad I did not have to vote in your election 2016 (I live in New Zealand) , because I would have found all options bad. There was a lot of stuff about Clinton raising my doubt. Trump needs no explaining, why one would want to stay clear of that.
I wonder if I have to agree in the long run with people who run down all of the public media. I feel we often don't get the whole picture. But I still trust in the integrity of many people working for CNN , BBC and such. not fox.

1

I have few cherished opinions. The latest I gave up was the "humans use only 10% of their brains" fallacy I first was taught in 3rd grade and have had it reinforced several times since including most recently the movie Lucy. I have to wonder if Morgan Freeman (who played the scientist, sometimes narrator as he does in several factual roles) still believes it.

Though I discount man made religions, probably my most cherished opinion is "no one can prove or refute the existence of a god or gods." Since the answer is not forthcoming, I can rest easy with that one.

Well, not really. My opinions on how to best integrate my new act lead are currently far more important...and mutable.

1

Hmmm.... I don't know about cherished beliefs, but there's tons of things I used to believe that I now don't, I used to believe that most people were interested in reality, that they weren't wishful thinkers, typically I used to believe in santa, the tooth fairy and the bible god.

1

I used to honestly believe there was a god, and that religion just had the wrong way of interpreting what god was. In my search for the facts about what god was actually like, I found less and less evidence that there was a god. What I was seeing was just the natural world.

1

I must confess I don't really 'cherish' opinions. I have opinions, but they are not of themselves valuable, except in the way they fit and explain what happens.

1

My personal experience and that of others i know support the 2 households as being better.
I had a meltdown in my very early 30s. I always knew my father was despicable, but believed/wanted to believe my mother was kind caring and I also felt sorry for her. Until my kids were the age that I could remember myself at. Thinking what I would do to anyone who would try and harm them, and remembering my mother doing nothing to stop my father and even deflecting his anger from herself and my siblings onto me. I raised this with her, she didn't deny it and got all condescending, how it made me better person and all the crap you could imagine. So my world fell apart, a big part of my belief system came crashing down and so many hidden memories came back. The comment that really bites is, "I took my marriage vows seriously".

That sounds soul wrenching. If parents abuse the children, women get away to easy if they point the finger at him, and don't lift the finger ever for the children. But it is hard to change a positive view of a parent . I viewed my parents in a better light than before, after I had kids. They had done a pretty good job on us after all. I forgave them whatever shortcomings I had perceived earlier, but mine were really lovely parents, mostly.

1

I used to believe in God, I wouldn't say I cherished the belief so much as I cherished God as a living being. Needless to say, that belief changed!

1

I am still waiting on changing my opinion of hiphop/rap/flow whatever they label it... now they can not even speak except with their nose... what kind of man is that? I will wait for the next modality of popular music. I reckon I am stuck in the 20th century. But I will accept new evidence as convincing... No doubt.

I hated opera, still no fan. But when I announced to my parents how I hate opera they said, "Wait, you will probably like this!" and dug out a disc by ... who? ... I think it was Vivaldi, and that was quite nice. I used to dislike western, but have come across version and groups I like.

@ZebZaman Never into ballet but with former ballet student and professional dancer as girlfriend, I ended up seeing pieces of modern dance... And there it was in Philadelphia one season "Dracula the ballet". I can dig ballet now. It was not that great for her knowledgeable eyes but I thought it was Fangtastic!!!!!

@Stevil For sure the most amazing era in popular music and beyond in history... to think you could get in that era... love and peace, acid rock, disco, fusion jazz, RnB, soul, blue eye soul, blues, Rock, swing, foxtrot, country, jazz, electronic music, hard rock, salsa, brazilian, reggae. You are not stock in the 70's you made it home... why anyone needs to leave the house? that's home!!! And I was greedy... I dig them all.

@Stevil Parliament... before Earth WInd & Fire... Parliament!!!!

@Stevil Flashlight!!!!

0

While this might not be an answer to your question, I'd say it's still a valid viewpoint.

I don't know that I have any "cherished" opinions.

Maybe that's just nihilistic, but I honestly just run any idea through the "does this produce the desired result?" If yes, keep going. If no, change the idea. Furthermore, any idea whose outcome is insignificant or meaningless (I.e - clouds shaped like ducks must be divinely inspired), I don't put any weight into any way. Just an "empty" thought that can come and go as it pleases. shoulder shrug

0

I can't think of anything right now, but I'm going to take this in kind of a different direction. You might not have implied something like this in your OP, but it's how I interpreted it and it's on my mind now.

God is different. There is no empirical evidence and there never can be. Even if a more powerful being descended from the stars and actually turned water into wine, it's not proof of a "God", but of a more powerful being than ourselves that can turn water into wine.

Even if a being did create us and showed proof, it doesn't mean they are "God" in the traditional sense of the term.

Humans have created beings before. Does that mean they are Gods?

What if an "alien" showed proof they created us? I'm talking about a typical alien as we portray them to be from our imagination with lanky bodies and big heads with gray skin etc. Would a religious person accept them as God? Or would it have to be a long haired white human? Most Christians, if not all Christians, see Jesus as a white guy and not a darker skinned Middle Easterner.

So changing ones mind on God after being shown "evidence" still might not solidly prove anything. We would never be able to tell if something was all powerful either.

So there is my brain fart for the day lol

0

I would rather see the parents moving households every few days or week and the child stays in the 'main' home. That would provide stability for the child while the adults deal with the hassle of swapping homes.

Basically each parent has a home outside the one the child stays in and a room at the house the children live in.

0

I am considering a vegan life. I used to be all about bacon, meat, comforting foods, basically unhealthy style etc. but it has recently been explained in such a way that makes perfect sense. So in the interest of all things healthy for me, I will research, and make the appropriate conclusions for me.

My ex and I have joint custody. One week me, one week him. We share holidays and come together as a family then and on all our birthdays to celebrate. It's the right thing to do when children are involved. A united front of civility as adults is one of the ideal role models we can give our children in times of divorce/separation. (In my opinion)

Good question. Thanks for the post.

I feel I should go further towards vegetarian diet. Though not vegan ... I love my milk products, and chickens for eggs are fine with me. ( Just killing the hens growing too old is the hard bit! I've got two such old hens) I try to purchase products from healthy farming models, organic or sustainable. And good to hear you are the truly responsible adults for your children. It is waring parents that hurt, not seperated parents as such so much.

0

My rule is no spanking violence begets violence do not teach a kid to solve a problem with hitting. Time out shove your kid in a corner or chair now they know how to runaway from a problem.
Spite this solves nothing either other than to cause animosity.
Logic and reason solve problems. Learning the correct physiological responses and applying them works the best.

0

always, i always go with the evidence, and don't get emotionally attached to an idea. i did leave religion and god belief after all.

0

As long as both households are positive influences on the kid(s) always saying "I love you".
I am in that situation... and I tell my son I love him over and over until we are both saying it and laughing. I am glad I insisted on "codomilicary" in the custody papers.

0

I think that we would all be rather irritating and boring if we still had the all opinions of our youth. I grew up in a blue collar neighborhood. A lot of my opinions were wrong. I am glad that I ditched them.
One thing that is quite frivolous but nevertheless proved how open minded I still am. Was when I watched the documentary "thriller in Manila". It was Joe Frazier's point of view of his encounters with Mohamed Ali. As a youth I saw Ali as the hero of their exchanges. However seeing it from the other side changed my opinion. Worth a watch even if you don`t like boxing.

0

I once believed that people had an inherent desire to seek a god from birth. I mentioned to some friends that told me that we are all born atheist. It took six months of research. I found out that we were all wrong. There have been entire cultures that have had not spirit or god concept at all. Thus if we were born with a desire to seek a god concept that would not be the case.

We are not born atheist. A god concept must exist in a society for us not to believe in. We are born with no concept of God at all. We are taught it and then must either accept it or not or perhaps become some sort of Agnostic.

Being atheist simply means I have no belief in gods. I don't have to be taught about gods to have no belief in them. If I grew up in a culture that had no god concept, then I would have no reason to call myself an atheist, but I still would have no god beliefs, so I'd be an atheist.

@Eazyduzzit My point was the concept of theism would not exist, therefore the concept of atheism would not exist, therefore it would be a non issue. I just made up the god. Poohpoohmodo. We are both Apoohpoohmodos. Even though before just now neither of us believed in Poohpoohmodo neither of thought of ourselves as apoohpoohmodos.

I would argue that we are all born agnostic as in lacking any knowledge of gods. As I see it, a-theism stands in opposition to theism and thus until you are presented, understand, or embrace a theist perspective, you can't be against or without a god.

We were still born without a belief in poohpoohmodo, so in my understanding we are apoohpoohmodo whether or not we need a label for it. Labels are just words to identify traits and sometimes these labels aren't needed.

@TheMiddleWay Excellent you are absolutely correct! Thank you for your thoughts.

@Eazyduzzit

I have no knowledge now, or at birth, of what poohpoohmodo means, so how can I express if I believe in it or not?

After all, poohpoohmodo could be swahili for "sun" and clearly I believe in it... or it could be esperanto for "jedi mind trick" and clearly I don't believe in that.

Hence, until I have knowledge of what poohpoohmodo is, it would be inaccurate to say that I believe in it or not.

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