Agnostic.com

18 3

How do you know if you’ve really ever been in love?

I know it sounds like a silly question. I know I’ve loved girls in my past, but I really don’t believe I’ve ever been truly in love. I’ve never been in a relationship where I feel like both of us were “all in” on each other. Times where I felt like I was all in and they weren’t and vice versa. Are you really in love if it’s mostly one sided? How do you decide?

MountainBound 5 Sep 16
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

18 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

0

Yes, I know that I have been in love because I cared about my partner's long-term well-being as much as I did my own. I wanted to make sure that he had health insurance (through my employer) and medical treatment if he needed it. I would have taken care of him if he fell ill with a chronic or terminal illness. I wanted him to inherit my pension, Social Security, and all of my assets should I die first, to preserve his livelihood and standard of living. And, if something ever happened to him, I would have wanted to be the first to know about it. I wanted him to be my family. I have been married to a man I was deeply in love with before, and I have wanted to marry a handful of others. So yes, I know that I have been in love before, because giving another those precious rights was tantamount. There have been men I was interested in and attracted to, personality-wise, but I didn't want to marry them. I wasn't in love with those guys.

1

Love is what you want it to be. I’ve been so in love that I felt like my feet weren’t touching the ground after we spent the night together. I’ve been in love with a women I wanted to be touching 24 hours a day! I still love that last one even though we have no physical relationship, which hurts something terrible. But it’s all I have, better than nothing.

0

I've asked myself so many times.
I still don't have an answer.

Have I ever been loved?
Have I ever truly loved anyone?

0

The time I truly fell in love , it took me ten years to step beyond it .

0

I think it’s a crap shoot. I’ve been crazy in love and thought it was mutual until it wasn’t. I was very young and in hind sight I know I made mistakes and he made huge mistakes that I let slide because I loved him. It just wasn’t a mutual love at the same level. Live and learn, but it really is the luck of the draw.

1

If you have to ask then you probably haven’t been in love. There is certainly a difference between loving someone and being in love. Being in love usually doesn’t last forever as it usually either replaced with disenchantment or if you are lucky a long lasting mutual respect and love. I can only describe it as being like a temporary insanity, you count the minutes until the next meeting with them and can’t think about much else when you are not with them! Eating and sleeping are unimportant and work or study likewise.

2

It's a feeling and a knowing. Hard to explain but there isn't a doubt when you are.

0

....... Gee, I could write a book here. The first time at young age, elementary school when I didn't know/understand why I couldn't stop thinking about her. That's how I know it was real, it's been 45 years and still remember. Then you grow old and life keeps on moving...it did happen again at middle school, she was closer to my reality, both the same age and she was beautiful. I would get on time to class to save a seat for her. It was great and all but she just wasn't crazy about me. Then highschool comes along and you start to change. A few crushes here and there but nothing wow...then college where they were hotties everywhere and age starts to make a dent somewhere and then I was just numb with wall built everywhere and eventually those shields won the battle and never felt it again. Not since then, not now and likely not ever again. Would I like it if life surprise me and someone else? Heck yeah !!! Will it happen?? Well the rational part of my brain tool over that department a long time ago and I know better. Sad? Gets worst with age, sure does.

0

I used to have deep crushes on girls when i was vary young but these days i have 0 interests in any relationships. and i fell for a internet romance scam in 2012.

0

Only men strong in male traits fall in love, and women heavy in male hormones and traits.

Men need to fall in love so they'll stop chasing every woman and stick with one woman long enough to help raise his progeny, thus ensuring his genes continue on earth.

If typical cis hetero women were to become besotted over men, willing to overlook their dangerous behavior, and keep taking them back and making excuses for them, they are potentially putting their lives at risk and removing themselves from the gene pool, since unrestrained men can quickly become dangerous if there are no negative consequences.

Most cis hetero women who are heavy in female traits are CHOOSERS (this applies to animals as well) ..they look over the admiring men (Most cis hetero men want to have sex with most women, while most women are only attracted that way to a few men in their lifetimes) and choose the ones that give them the most advantage...financial, power, safety, stability, etc.

Think about it..even the most gorgeous caring men won't win a woman if he's homeless and a drug addict.
Women strong in female traits aren't like most men..they aren't ruled by their hormones and eyes.

0

It hurts to think about your life without that person.
When I am missing the person I love, I miss how he smiles. The way his hazel eyes look at me. The feel of his heart beating under my hand. The way he talks me off a ledge. The way I want to make him happy.
At the end of the day we can have our verbal differences. But it's those visuals that matter. That stops my heart. If that is love I don't know what is.

1

There's love, and there's lust... and most of the time, I can hardly tell the difference. I think "love" is the ability to actually care about the other person, even over your own interests.

0

times great we either look back with fondness and fool our selves look back with hate and lie or look back with confusion and doubt our self

4

As my brother answered when I asked him how you know...if you have to ask you're not

lerlo Level 8 Sep 16, 2018
0

First, we have to define what ''love'' is. Are you talking about lust? Do you mean that feeling of overwhelming attraction to another person? How about putting him/her first, in all aspects of life? Being willing to sacrifice for that person?

I've never seen a couple whose ''love'' didn't evolve and change over time...sometimes it lives in a new form and other times, they part. It's very difficult to maintain it...probably harder than anything we've ever done!

Is this question for YOU? Good luck!

@PeaceByGreenJobs I think choosing for looks is always a sucker bet. Everyone changes appearance over time -- unless they choose to have extensive cosmetic surgery and that seldom ends well.

@ladyprof70 True! My grandmother used to say..."Beauty won't last...brains will!"

1

Not a silly question. I don’t know if I have, or if anyone ever really loved me. I guess if you ask that question my guess is probably not.☹️

1

I was in love once, a really long time ago. Nothing quite like it.

1

I think I was for maybe the first couple years with my ex. But we started trying for kids right away and as soon as our oldest was born I was pretty much forgotten. Now I wonder if he ever really loved me

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:180620
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.