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Mind numbing sex - what's your secret?

So I'm pretty sure that given the right motivation, I could totally rock someone's world.....but I myself have never had such an exquisite sexual encounter that I think about it years later. What am I missing?

#sex
VelociraptorRemy 6 Sep 24
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14 comments

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0

You want something special and distinctive like you, ... but you want it, for lust only, or for something else?

belfo Level 6 Sep 28, 2018

Satisfaction, for one. I just wanna know what it's like.

@VelociraptorRemy Satisfaction, if it is one-sided,an imbalance will happen, And there is no satisfaction between two sides without waiver

0

Try a special place!

2

Paying attention, and a corded vibrator!

2

Over the years, I have been lucky to have had three extraordinary lovers. The vast majority are mediocre (and think they are exceptional), with a few lousy lovers at the bottom. For me:

  1. An extraordinary lover pays attention to my words, sounds and nuances of body language. He responds in ways that give me greater pleasure. I do the same for him.

  2. A mediocre lover selfishly ignores my needs and desires, focusing on his own pleasure. There is a spectrum of mediocre, ranging from passivity (expecting me to do all the initiation and work) to jackhammering blindly, forgetting I’m there.

I have always hated jackhammering. It makes me wince and pull away. For me, it is counterproductive to opening up mentally and physically during sex.

  1. Lousy lover: One man was so inept, I sketched a diagram of the vagina and penis. “Men push,” I said. Enough said.

I've been more used to a 1.5.....as far as making sure I'm taken care of by whatever means (so not selfish) but not really knowing what he's doing....I mean after 17 years if you don't know what does it for me, then something's wrong.....

1

Most cis hetero men are hard-wired to do "rabbit sex" since that's usually all cis hetero women will tolerate.

No frills, reach orgasm quickly before she changes her mind. Mind-numbingly boring, even if they "work hard" trying to make the woman orgasm, since it's obvious they don't enjoy it, so I just faked it.

I didn't know what was possible until later in life when I met men who were more than cis hetero; ones with enough feminine traits that they knew what sex was for..leisurely pleasure, fantasy, costumes, mild S & M, and play props..not just the quickest A to Z orgasm possible.

I will block anyone who trolls me or rushes in to argue, since most cis hetero people have no idea what they're missing, and don't seem to care.
They just do the motions, reach orgasm, check off that box, and call it a win.

At least all the people I knew were that way, including women.

I don't think I've ever had an orgasm so powerful I almost blacked out......that's what I'm wanting

@VelociraptorRemy I don't need a man to do that, LOL! But my ex could make my orgasms last for 11 minutes (whenever we bothered timing them), but orgasms weren't our goal..just extending the play time-coming close and backing off for more fun.

Orgasms usually end desire, at least for men, until they can recuperate.

@birdingnut No, certainly don't need a man to achieve that kind of orgasm.....a woman and a well placed vibrator (or just the vibrator by itself) could probably do way more than a man could. But I like the masculinity of a man.

@VelociraptorRemy You're lucky..I'm a demisexual; I feel no sexual attraction for either gender and can only feel it after OVER a year of close association. And then, only for that one person.

Because of this, I have no idea what my sexual orientation is, if any.

But even when I was in a relationship I could take sex or leave it; I did better by myself, although I seldom bothered.

But my last ex actually did enhance pleasure since he enjoyed all the mild S & M playtime stuff and even stripped for me. Since he looked like an escapee from a Las Vegas men's strip show, he was worth watching.

My lack of attraction to anyone makes me less motivated to seek a partner.

2

If I told you my secret, it wouldn't be a secret anymore.

Deb57 Level 8 Sep 25, 2018
2

I don't know--I think I'm missing it too.

Carin Level 8 Sep 25, 2018
4

Being into someone. Electricity, chemistry. You can't fake that.
After having been spoiled on it nothing else will do. I'd rather be alone without it.

1

DESIRE (think U2) ~

Varn Level 8 Sep 24, 2018
0

Laying the groundwork of having a great relationship first is a prerequisite for MNS (mind numbing sex). Friends first, mutual respect, physical attraction (of course) and some romance. With a start like that the rest should be good.

I think the friends first is really important.....that way you already know each other and what each other likes

@VelociraptorRemy Yes. Being friends is exactly the thing that makes a relationship intimate! It's just my opinion but a one night stand isn't intimacy but a one dimensional superficiality.

1

Gin.

0

As for what you'd want, that'd be a few glasses of wine between us, and a kinky conversation to iron that out.

As for what; I find what rocks my world, it's a woman that's in sync with what I'm lusting for.

Sometimes I enjoy a little pinch and squeal, other times I want to be ridden like I'm the last chopper out of Vietnam. It's finding a partner that's in sync with whatever sexual deviancy that's your fancy really.

Often to find out that information does take just asking, 'so what do you enjoy in bed?' As you've basically done here.

A persons personality plays a part in it as well, I've known a few women who do like their sex on the rough and tumble side of things, but they're generally shy and reserved people. So I can't just jump on in full gimp suit rearing to go! I'd have to seduce them into that mood, either in the bedroom incrementally or teasingly throughout the day.

Admittedly other times it just comes down to dirty, uninhibited, 'I've never done this before'-esq, spontaneous sex.

What did you employ that spiced up the bedroom?

Um........(crickets).......the problem is that right now the chemistry has fizzled, with me at least....he's still all into me, but my flame for him is just enough to use him for satisfaction, however mediocre it is...

@VelociraptorRemy (crickets) indeed, that's rather awkward. I hope you figure out a way to let it all go gently, but if he's still all puppy-dog-eyed for you that will be difficult no doubt.

@EarthKate 😛 you're welcome, feel free to use it for a good laugh.

0

Having your Male partner hold back until you are stimulated enough,and not shoot his wad upon sliding into you. One of the problems of Widowers,not regular sex.We become"Backed up".

0

What are you interested in ?

Qiru Level 6 Sep 24, 2018

Wild, unbridled passion.....the kind of orgasm that my neighbors would hear....multiple times.

@VelociraptorRemy interesting, tell me more

@Qiru I can't. I've never had one. That's why I'm wondering what the secret is.

@VelociraptorRemy for the ultimate climax of sheer sexual bliss is relaxation. I can give you more details as long as the rest of the community covers their ears ?

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