My ex was OCD and manic depressive. She should have been on meds, but was too proud to seek help. On top of that, she spiritualized it all, blaming me as satan's tool to get at her. It was the worst, most torturous 9 years of my life... I needed deprogramming after we split up. That's almost 25 years ago, and to this day still feel its effects.

So, I warn people that are in any kind of toxic relationship: GET THE FUCK OUT.

My wife was bi-polar, and I tried hard to get her whatever help she needed. Turns out she was having affairs behind my back, neglecting the kids, and flushing her meds down the toilet. She finally left us after six and a half years.
She fought anyone who tried to help her; if you didn't buy into her worldview that she was 'exactly' how she was supposed to be, then you were her enemy. She could never see that she needed help.
Now, our kids are grown, and she's had nothing to do with either of them. My daughter hears from her occasionally. but has no feelings toward the mother who was never there.

Mental illness is hard for everyone to cope with, not just the person with the diagnosis.

Mmm.... wife is bipolar.... I take it easy with her. I'm not affraid... just aware. Shes a good wife and i love her.

So, being in love, we got married.
Depression was her diagnosis, and we seemed to be dealing with that, for a while. She changed, angry, violent changes. One day as i sat in the waiting room at her therapist office, a person walked up to me, handed me a folded small note, and said, "don't ever let her see this."
it was an article entitled, 'borderline personality disorder'. that action and article freed me from the blame i was feeling for our problems. saved my life perhaps.
the prognosis for the relationship was terminal.
But, i learned a lot about me and as a result of the relationship my life took directions which led me to wonderful things.

One of my exes committed suicide almost a year ago. She struggled with depression and addiction since she was 16. I left her when she started using again.

I was the one who gave up and tried to end it. My partner at the time stuck by me like a champ; it's no stretch to say I owe him my life. We're still close.

My last bf (different guy) proclaimed himself to be the very picture of mental health and stability, despite having had a rough childhood, raised in a thoroughly dysfunctional family by a delusional psychopath and an alcoholic. He's well on his way to alcoholism himself.

Some red flags (that I noted and sailed right past):

• "I'm always happy. I don't get sad."
• "There are some feelings I don't like to feel--and I don't let myself feel them."
• "I don't trust women."
• "When you say 'boundaries', it sounds to me like you're trying to be in control and I can't stand that."
• "[Yelling] is how I learned to communicate. There's nothing wrong with it."

Yeah. You need therapy worse than I do, buddy.

My wife has had two brain tumours removed,one in 1984 and the other in 2009 which has effected her communication skills but we are still together after 42 years and will remain together for life.

No..But I have..there are some frightening people out there..dated a control freak..was always demandimg receipts for things I bought with My money..it just escalated from there..sick fuck!

When I was young I was a magnet for psychotic people. I quit being an amateur and went into the mental health profession

My wife was bipolar. She killed herself after we were married only a year.

The first (only) long term (roughly eight years) relationship I had was with a bipolar and sex addicted woman who, as a later single digit young girl was repeatedly raped by a grey haired married man (next door neighbour) until she was powerful enough (teenager) to defend herself and tell him to go to hell. As a result she had profound (abandonment? and other) mental issues and was greatly into self-medicating. She suffered greatly. I used to dread her manic highs because they were always followed by an extended period of disabling lows. On those all to common periods I remember standing and holding her for hours at nights as her endless tears literally made the back of my shirt wet. I could also write a book about what she did. Haven't seen her in many years but I am rather sure she is now dead (lots of emotional problems that manifested in self destructive behaviour). At the beginning of our relationship I had a choice; she introduced me to her friend that was my age and we hit it off perfectly. I had several weeks to choose one or the other and we often spent (non-sexual) time together as a group. However, I selected the ten-year-my-senior woman as she seemed to need my emotional support and I thought I could help her - - that she just needing someone who truly cared to make her life complete. - - - I usually don't travel down that road of "what if" as my life would be profoundly different if I had chosen differently.

A long-term marriage with an eventually diagnosed wife having ‘adult onset anxiety.’ A caregiver, the r/s had taken all I had. When children came along, wanted, after having achieved a number of goals, my ‘care’ was split … and it seemed I was ‘punished’ for that.. In the end, the children were a better investment.

Damaged, friends led me to a 3 year off-again-on-again affair with an ‘invisible’ borderline PD’d mate. Invisible meaning, able to hide her deficiencies ..to a point… As I ‘recovered’ from associated life traumas, her condition was permanent.. I’ve since swarn off caregiving ~

My ex blames the end of our marriage on my mental health issues. Truth is we both had or have mental health challenges, mine were being address and treated. Neither of us was a danger to self or others. but his method of dealing with his issues did not make for a good relationship or home life. Everyone is happier since we split, and the kids have told me they wish I'd done it sooner.

I was seeing someone casually for a couple of years, not really a relationship other than that we saw each other about once a month and I was fine with that (as it was the nature of our relationship from the start). Anyway, he talked about depression sometimes and getting himself out of it, things always seems to be going well when we were together. One way we communicated was through the chat feature during our ongoing Words with Friends battle, and then one day he was just gone... I tried to reconnect, tried to text him, I didn’t hear anything back. My thoughts were that maybe he found someone for a serious relationship, and I was OK with that but sad to not say goodbye... About two weeks later I randomly Googled his name, and found out he had committed suicide. It’s been four years, I haven’t been in a relationship since and I think my guilt over being the catalyst for some of his problems that led to his suicide (longer story there) still holds me back.

A few times in my life I have had situational depression or situational anxiety but I always get treatment and never make it someone else's problem. The only time someone else's issues ruined the relationship was when I was young and broke it off with a boyfriend who was too angry (no physical abuse but some verbal) and he threatened suicide when I did. I handled it by having my mom call his mom.

Borderline Personality Disorder, they don’t even seem to know what they are doing. They are convinced though there is nothing wrong and make crazy decisions. She always seemed to bounce back, but I have been told it gets worse with age. I do wish they would consider conventional medication as well as the holistic counseling approach she has been angaged in. Life is truely on eggshells. It has caused waves in the far reaches of our lives.

My mother was bi -polar /mainly manic; my father clinically depressed after his war experiences, both were abusive verbally physically and sexually - I have a diagnosis of D.I.D. I have been taken into mental hospital many times.
My partner of many years has chronic O.C.D. We seem to manage quite well in the circumstances and are living in sheltered accommodation. The things I can do well are cooking cleaning etc and creative thinking and craftwork , He is great with money numbers and logic . We live in separate flats and it s nice having someone else who is real about expectations. I don't think it would work so well if we were unbalanced in our inter-independecy

My 2nd husband and last boyfriend were malignant narcissists. Will NEVER go through that again.

Usually I'm the one with mental health issues (Borderline Personality and possibly PTSD)

Ha, too many really.
Ex wife was always very self centred, it got out of control and we ended up in court, she was jealous of my kids (they are hers as well), took out a violence order against me and had kids taken away. The court ordered an evaluation of her state of mind after finding her claims were unfounded (her only claim was that I looked at her in a way that caused fear).
She was diagnosed with an acute anti social personality disorder, things got worse, kids and I left and I got a divorce. Next lady hit drugs and booze after leaving me for someone else, and the most resent partner of 14 year ago had major break downs, ok, she was ill and some was from medication, some from blood poisoning, some was just her, cost me a house and a car though. Then there were 2 ladies I vegan seeing when I moved back to this region. Only met with each of them twice, and both informed me after long denials, they were on medication, banned from work, and at risk of being locked up.. I can really pick them.

I sympathise.

I lost my wife after 12 years also. She never really told me why she left, but I'm sure the reason was she finally realized I wasn't bullshitting her about how absurd I thought the idea of god was that we discussed before marriage. If that is the case, I would consider it that she succumbed to the intentional mental health problems caused by accepting lies as truth.

Senior year of high school, my first boyfriend committed suicide.
That sucked. Hard.

I think I could classify all 4 of my kids as mentally ill. Their mom isn't far behind. Most have kids by accident, I know I sure did. All of us have had some excellent therapy, we talk and it helps. It's not personal and no one is doing anything to you is what I finally took away from the mental health experience. It really makes me "feel" for people, more inclined to buy em' something to eat, gift em' a drink....be nice.

I think I could classify all 4 of my kids as mentally ill. Their mom isn't far behind. Most have kids by accident, I know I sure did. All of us have had some excellent therapy, we talk and it helps. It's not personal and no one is doing anything to you is what I finally took away from the mental health experience. It really makes me "feel" for people, more inclined to buy em' something to eat, gift em' a drink....be nice.

Menopause madness has got to be the leading cause of divorce and separations in elderly relationships. Hormones! am I right ladies.