I’m a straight transman and it wouldn’t matter. Pre, non, and post op doesn’t matter either. Some trans people only want to be with cis people. I’ve dated a pre-op transwoman and it took me a bit to get comfortable, but there was enough attraction. I’ve learned that I fall in love with what is between someone’s ears not what it is between their legs.

I have a friend who doesn't identify as a lesbian but is in a long term relationship w a woman. Both have been married and both have children. The way she described falling in love w her girlfriend was something like this- " when I met her I just KNEW she was the love of my life. Id never been w a woman before and probably won't ever again if this doesnt work out. But I was attracted to her SOUL, her very BEING!!"
I can imagine when you find that it doesnt matter what gender they are of its the same sex or a transgender person. It goes way beyond the physical for some. What a lovely way to think

I am pretty open minded. Beign gay, I have have known several transgender persons, I do nto think my feelings as far as caring for the person would change. although my sexual attraction might.

I have known couples who were wholly committed to each other who no longer have sex... at leat not with each other. There is a wide variety of many kinds of relationship situations under which people exist very happily other than what our culture idealizes as the most desirable.

We are all different and tryign to fit everyone inot the same kind of box just doesn't work.

Wouldn't care, and I would still pursue a relationship if it was obvious that they cared for me also.

My daughter is in a very serious relationship with a transgender. When I first met her girlfriend, I had no clue, and personally I did not care. I want my daughter to be happy. As for me...... I have always told my children that you fall in love with the person, not the gender. If I saw someone and was attracted to them I personally feel I would be attracted with the person and not the gender. What they were before has nothing to do with how I feel about them now.

I wouldn't care. I would try to be supportive and understanding that talking about one's transgender status has to be done on one's own timeline.

I would be ok with it.

Not ever being in that situation, I don't know . I would certainly hope it wouldn't make a difference in our relationship.

I would be absolutely fine with it. For one thing I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual, although so far I’ve only dated men. But I have always been kind of attracted to people of all genders who look androgynous. I’m mostly attracted to men, the only times I have been attracted to cis women has been when they are masculine or androgynous in their appearance. I have also found a lot of transgender women attractive, because many of them are naturally androgynous looking, as well as nonbinary people.

It's a question I recently asked a straight friend and he said that he would have to think about it. We know a couple of trans women, but the reason I was asking was because I was recently contacted by a trans man who had not had bottom surgery. I consider him a guy and refer to him as such, but the genitals are a deal breaker. The problem with female to male is that the genital surgery is just not perfected. I also have no problem with the gender at birth issue; it is the genital issue.

I would have no problem with it.

I would like to think that maybe it would be a little weird at first, but since you like/love that person, you would be used to it. It’s just a part of who they are, and they’re just changing. You just go with the flow.

Like you, paul1967, I wouldn't care what gender they once were. The only issue would be post-op or pre-op. Even there if she were still pre-op, I could see myself being willing to wait a bit if she were otherwise the person I thought was right for me. That said, the question does presume an attraction that I have a bit of difficulty imagining. I have a certain affinity for silvereyes' response on that score.

Yes, but then again, I am trans gender myself.

I have no problem with it regardless if they're pre or post-op. I've been in a relation with a post-op in the past and have known others I've been friends with and a few I had an attraction to I wouldn't have any problem being in a life long relationship with if we found mutual desire and compatibility with each other. It shouldnt matter who or what they are if there's love between two human beings.

I wouldn't mind as long as my feelings are strong

Pre-op no I would lose all physical interest I would probably have no problem being friends but I don't believe I could get over the feeling they had deceived me. Post-op, they think they are a women and I do too, I may be shocked upon finding out but i would get over it and would feel no different towards them because what ever part of their personality attracted me in the first place would not change.

Whatever happends happends. I live in the transgender capital (Miami) and I am close friends with a few. So from an emotional and intellectual point of view no problem. But from a biological perspective a 'road block' would keep it from being sexual.

I think that there could be an element of curiosity about getting to know someone in that category, although as someone else said if they were still in the transition phase I think it would be unlikely. I can appreciate that if a woman that was straight were to start getting involved with a trans gender person going from female to male, it could prove problematic, because as a female friend of mine who had a school friend who had had this transition once said to me, "it's easier to dig a hole, than to build a pole"

I would be fine with the person themselves! However, this has happened to me and oh boy does it confuse the hell out of me, sexuality wise haha. I've definitely been attracted to both trans-women and trans-men and I don't mind but as a lesbian it's like fuck if I dated a trans-man would that make me bisexual? Pansexual? Or just lesbian except for this one person kind of like demisexual. I'm pretty comfortable with my sexuality to the point to be able to admit that I know who I like and who is attractive but I'm still having trouble with the labeling part of my life because so many people have told me it's just a "phase" that I don't want to be anything else in case they were right, despite my knowledge of labels not mattering. However, I wouldn't mind dating whomever I felt attracted to and just saying fuck it because that's who I want to be with.

I really would not care. I would think it's wonderful that they were able to make their transition. I couldn't maintain a sexual relationship with someone with male anatomy because I'm personally just not wired that way though but they would never have to worry about judgement or persecution from me.

I agree that the pre/ post-op question would be my only real concern, but it would be something I would want to discuss at length. Both my own attitudes and those of my proposed partner would likely be filled with biases and inconsistencies that would not be entirely mirrored by the other. I would want to know if they have any ideas about expected gender roles in the relationship, partly because I would think ( rightly or wrongly) that acquiring or eliminating perceived role requirements might play a part in how they choose to live now.

In all honesty, the answer is firm no from me. My ex-wife was bi-curious when we met and over the 13 years we were together I rode the roller coaster of changes in what she wanted. She was also sexually assaulted a year into the relationship and everything got so muddled that I can't do complicated again. I spent 13 years with this confused person and tried my best. Even if the trans person in question has settled all their issues, it'd be hard for me to see past the fact that they must've had issues at some point and even if they never had issues or questions, I'd probably never believe that to be the case.

I have lived as a M-F transgender woman for more than 20 years now. I haven't undergone sex reassignment surgery. I have dated straight/cis men in the UK before and I tell them upfront before the date that I still have 'it'. In my experience, 9 out of 10 straight men really don't mind. They still see me as a woman regardless of the plumbing downstairs and that doesn't make them any gay at all (I have to remind them this again and again). Now, more than half of those I've reminded wanted to pursue a relationship with me but I unfortunately had to turn down plenty with the phrase 'just friends'. I have to choose the lucky one that I am most attracted to (personally looks is NOT an important criterion). Pre-op or post-op should not be an issue if you asked me. But then I'd understand completely if that would be a dilemma for anyone.

Q1. How would you feel if you found out that the person you have feeling for was transgender?

A1. If I'm being completely honest I'd feel very disrespected. Not because transgender people have no right to express their sexual identity any which way they like - they do, BUT because they clearly don't seem to give a damn about the responses their presentation to society results in. I know one or two transgender people & as far as I'm concerned do as you please BUT if you were born with a penis & you're 'pretending' you weren't I have to say I find such an attitude dishonest. Now as far as I know you folk don't pretend this but if you did so I'd feel very disrespected.

Q2. I'm not talking about deception or what if you were in a relationship and then you found out.

A2.Oh OK. in that case I'm in the picture & haven't been mislead. If that were the case I'd have nothing to feel mislead about. If I'm really really honest about that I'd feel really 'strange' about any sexual feelings I had. I can't apologize for this because what I feel is what I feel & that's neither right or wrong.

Q3, I mean how would you feel if you were attracted to someone and later you found out they were transgender.

A3. I'd feel very very confused & somewhat mislead.

Q4. Would you still pursue a relationship with that person?

A4. I really really doubt it because if someone can't be totally upfront about something like that from the word go I'd find their trustworthiness deeply in question. Don't get me wrong - if a person 'feels' 100% female in a male body I'm not going to judge them as 'wrong' or 'perverted' or whatever. Do as you please. It's your life so I'm not going to tell you you aren't free to express your identity however you choose BUT rightly or wrongly if I'm someone who prefers honesty to deception I don't see why you have any right to hide your physical nature from people IF you respect their desire for 100% honesty in a relationship. - Is that unreasonable?

Q5. I personally wouldn't mind a bit.

A5. OK that's YOU. - I would feel very very disrespected. - Is that unreasonable?

Q6. I have no issue with what gender they once were. My only issue would be post-op or pre-op.

A6. Again, that's your attitude & I won't judge you're opinion as 'right' or 'wrong'. - All I'm saying is to most heterosexual people (in my humble opinion) you seem to want your cake & eat it too. What I mean by that is your statements are very contradictory. e.g. On one hand you say:

"I'm not talking about deception"

but then on the other you say:

"I mean how would you feel if you were attracted to someone and later you found out they were transgender?"

Now I appreciate that a transgender person may not be in a position to carry a big sign saying:

"I was born with a willy / punanni"

• BUT they really really shouldn't be remotely surprised by responses from perhaps 99% or people (or there abouts) who's preferences are for people who WERE born with a willy or punanni. Now to you that might seem academic & I can kind of see why but it's really not as simple as that. Maybe the red blooded heterosexuals should just lighten up but like it or not, rightly or wrongly human sexuality is a very very deep dimension of what we feel we are. Play fast & loose with this dimension of personal identity & I kid you not you will NOT be easily forgiven. For this reason alone if not any other you should bear this fact of human nature in mind BIG time! As I say - feel free to express your identity any which way you like because it's your life & nobody else's BUT if you ever attempt to 'have your cake & eat it too' by being anything less than 100% up front about your genital status at birth & you will be judged as being very very dishonest & rightly so. In parting I'll say good luck to you. It cannot be easy to feel at odds with the genital "identity" nature gave you so I appreciate you may well have a lot to struggle with as a result. That cannot be at all easy so I wish you well & I recommend you adhere to 100% honesty about your circumstances at every opportunity - even if it's an opening gambit in a potential relationship situation. I hope that my answer doesn't come across as judgmental. It's not intended to be.