One thing I missed after I left church was the community. I was able to find a different community outside of church. It is easier in a large city, and the internet has made it easier also.

I find the power of the secular world is the mind’a ability to relate to those with unrelatable beliefs. Find the common vocabulary of experience and substitute that for the superstitious. You will get through, and be smarter for the challenge.

No, I haven’t. This isn’t an all or none scenario.
You e been raised religious. You don’t have to cut ties. Give it some time. You are breaking up with Jesus and God. That will take time, don’t rush. You won’t have many people to talk to about it unless you go to college. There you will likely find mass hordes of non believers. Normal transgression don’t sweat it. It’s a Brave New World.

It sounds to me like you miss the community but struggle with the belief system. Church does a great job of creating a social club where you can find like-minded individuals and engage in activities that benefit each other and the community. I guarantee there are other folks that feel similar to how you feel but either not enough or simply can't break away.

Either way I'd work to fill that hole with other projects, hobbies, activities, or volunteering. Many of the same things you get in the church you can get outside the church, just not all in one place. Whatever you decide to do, it's good to have you and thanks for sharing. Feel free to chat here if you've got other questions, these folks will always have opinions.

If you're an atheist that means you don't believe in a god or gods. You're not breaking up with a real person, you're breaking up with your indoctrination. It's healthy! Now go for a walk in the woods!

Having to let go of the idea that A Big Eye InThe Sky is judging your every move (harshly!) is probably leaving you feeling lost, plus the loss of community. Try new things where you can meet new, non-judgemental people! There are communities all around...theater, dance, book clubs, volunteer opportunities, etc etc etc. Look at what You want for a change, then go for it!

If you need to feel your membership in a church, temple, or mosque will somehow justify things, maybe you just like lies and fairytales to justify your existence. I can not see how being lied to about the false beliefs that come from the area of so many wars, could make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside then by all means go ahead and believe their falsehoods and live the lie of a believer.

Yes, I know how you feel, the I have a Hole feeling, needing to fill it. You'll learn more, grow more, and realize that "inner hole" is what makes us great as human beings-- we are always striving for more. Religion will fill it for a little while but it'll always be there, pushing us, motivating us to DO BETTER.

Religion is for those of us that NEED that kind of structure, because not a lot of people can figure out what's right from wrong on their own.

I feel your pain of being separate from your friends and those experiences, been there. There are a whole lot of people out there to meet, go and meet some. Talk to the weird kid; compliment the person that you would never think to talk to, they ALL have similar thoughts as you, but you won't know them until you talk to them and make nice, etc. Bookstores are a good place to start.

I hope this helps!

In effect, it IS like breaking up. Long-term relationships and circumstances sort of create and exist within a certain version of yourself and how you identify psychologically. When that changes, there's a period of adjustment where you have to reform your identity, and you're having to grieve the parts of that you which were lost. And grieve all the things that become separate of the new self you're trying to form. And toxic relationships, especially ones which have a direct influence on every other aspect of your life and social sphere, can require even more of a grief and rebuild process because the last version of the self it has to go on is dysfunctional and fails to provide any useful or helpful framework for the new self.

The answers are vaguely unhelpful things like 'time' and 'be patient' and 'you're young, these crises of identity are normal and part of your growth' and so on. But you left for a reason, and now the priority is creating a self that no longer relies entirely on that single aspect, and you have the ability to do it more on your terms. And maybe you'll decide to go back one day, but especially if it's all you've ever know it's important to acquire and develop new perspectives before making grand, lasting existential assertions of the the self.

It's hard at first; you are walking away from a part of your life and personality that has defined you for so long. You are 18...and I assume in religion for all of your life that you can remember...let's say 14 years. How do you think you would feel breaking up or divorcing after being together 14 years? On top of that, after the break up...you find that he gets all the friends, all the family (yours and his), and all the support. You also have to deal with the realization that your imaginary friend, who gave you hope and meaning (albeit false), is ..well...imaginary. The internal and external loss is a lot to deal with.

On a positive note, after the adjustment period, and time to get your feet planted again you start to redefine yourself. You will probably feel much better in your relationships (people near you are near you b/c they want to be) and with yourself (you feel more aware of life and reality, and you find comfort in being honest with yourself about so many things in life). It's not easy to essentially lose one's identity...but in the end I think most everyone that has went through it would say it was worth the struggle. Hang in there...

My smile is now the biggest you could see. You actually reached the point where truth had to over come the ills of life. You went with truth and sometimes that alone is a learning curve. The guilt is part of the religious magic on people but you my friend went to the real light. Welcome . They will eventually notice the freedom you carry in your thoughts and wonder how you were strong enough to make the leap.

Some people fell some grief when losing their religion.Maybe you are that way? Religion also has a social purpose in people's lives. I hope soon that you will experience all the things that most of us that were devout before we became atheists. As, for hell, most of the world is not Christian, why would a caring being hurt all people that were not Christians by sending them to hell. it is okay to have a special place in your heart for people that have died and things that we leave. I hope that you slowly heal and that the memories become part of who you are instead of causing confusion. Some people fill the whole with other activities. Some go to a U.U. fellowship where no God is mentioned. Some people go to atheist/free thinker meet-up for friendship. I hope you find a new place or person (s) that accepts you for who you are.

When you say you feel like you are breaking up with God, it sounds like you may still believe in him...are you leaving your church because of the problems you mentioned with other people there, the cat-and-mouse feelings & being afraid of going to hell for thinking independently? Or do you think god is not real, or probably not real? Just wondering because of the way you worded it--maybe you would feel better switching to a more modern, open church or even the Unitarians? They don't care if you are atheist or a believer. My sister goes there & finds them very accepting. They also take turns with other churches in staffing a homeless shelter, & they run a preschool I believe.

I experienced something a little like that. I was raised by strict evangelicals, so having church and Christianity force fed to me most my life did cause a bit of separation anxiety; however, having come to the point of non-belief I also felt a sense of weight being lifted from my shoulders. I’m still somewhat new to agnosticism though.

Yes, I went through that. I even kept praying...not formally, but just talking to “God” in my head. It was a long, emotional journey away...and I was flooded with doubts, few people to talk to, and I believe it’s a natural phase, much like any big change brings. I’d say keep talking about your feelings...I’m sure just posting this helped you. Be well!

Yes, I found that losing my faith felt almost like a bereavement. I knew for a long time that the Bible made no sense and that religion was more about people and control, than God and answers. After I finally admitted to myself that my belief was failing I felt guilty and lost.

I did feel like I should replace religion with something, but I never found that something... And after some time, I found it no longer needed replacing. I just healed.

It was, however, a while before I felt like my social life had recovered. Sadly most of my religious friends couldn't let me be an atheist... And I found it harder to not try to save them from the church, so eventually I lost contact with most of them. I have wonderful friends now, that I made naturally in the course of life. Some are believers and some are not, but we met outside of religion, so it's never been a defining factor in our relationship.

My advice to you- don't feel like you have to be happy about leaving your faith behind right now, it is hard when you have had a life intertwined with it. But, don't be afraid to look forwards, you will feel better in the future, and you will slowly meet people who are friends with you, not your belief in God. Eventually you will love your freedom of mind, you will wonder how you ever lived under the shadow of faith. You will find a beautiful world of people who want to live for life's sake, and not just for the reward of death.

Sorry, I never experienced what you are going through. Maybe it's because I've been a pretty solitary individual most of my life. The church was never about community for me. Hopefully you'll glean some insight from these comments and eventually get past this.

I dealt with something similar. But it all fell away when I asked myself if I would prefer to be (not) protected by a comfortable lie or face uncomfortable truth??

But seriously, there is a blog on Patheos.com; "Ignorance and defective thinking styles lead to religious superstition." #38315

I don't think I went through an existential crisis as it were. Once i had the epiphany that the bible was made up by humans, for whatever their purpose, that was pretty much all it took.

My best friend has been experiencing the same thing. It’s an existential crisis. All his life he was told he should be a preacher but now he’s an atheist and he’s really struggling. His family is still religious including his son. He’s figuring it out. I wonder if you should see a counselor to sort things out.

Yes, of course I understand. What has helped me is replacing the god idea with just feeling your own beingness inside of nature. You can feel a presence of just being. Look into mindfulness exercises. We can get those wonderful feelings of nature, reality, existence, etc without believing in an imagined god.❤

Rejecting god/s and theology doesn't have to include or exclude what others tell you. It is an individual decision made for your individual reasons and (let's hope) reasoning.

Because one rejects invisible friends doesn't mean automatically rejecting phenomena associated with them by their promoters. Many of the things ascribed to gods are already inborn; already instinctual. Not the least of these are morality; loyalty, ability to feel gratitude, generosity, unqualified affection and love, formation of communities/congregations with others with our naturally occurring bonds of respect and affection being the 'stuff' that holds us together. All of those and other evidences of inner, self-regulating morality are displayed in the animal world; the world we, as animals, share with them. When do we see our four and two legged cousins finding their morality in churches, synagogues or mosques?

We are animated by and constantly recreated by life energy and it's abundant love. There is no need to put a face on it; especially an old man's face. The Universe is in a constant state of creation and disintegration due to forces beyond our mechanistic comprehension at this time. What we can comprehend is what we do and that we do. We understand things much more easily on a functional basis; analyzing 'what happens' and with our built-in faculties that distinguish us as HUMAN animals, to perceive the intentionality behind observed phenomena. That is another kind of faith based on INDIVIDUAL reasoning and not allowing the self-righteous or self-aggrandizing (usually male) creators of orthodoxies pass judgment over our reasoning.

We don't possess our special gifts only to turn them over to others who really know no more than we; who have been issued no greater endowment by Nature than we. We arrive alone and leave the same way. Our choices of associations should be entirely ours after (ideally) a nurturing period of development in which our perceptual and reasoning faculties are strengthened instead of weakened and confused by a lot of nonsense about invisible entities that 'want us to behave in certain ways for rewards'.

The source of abundance and primary nurturing is feminine. That males have usurped in exclusive ways, leadership and domination of their respective societies and seek domination of others is pathological on the face of it. That is the source of our religious traditions and the sickness they spawn.

Instinctual rejection of them is a healthy impulse. Don't let it frighten you. It is your inner nature trying to help you navigate. We are all born godless until the lies arrive and soon we are 'taken-in' by them, to propagate them and do terrible things in support of the lies. This principle applies to anthrocentric ideologies that need no gods for their destructiveness such as manifest destiny political movements and ideologies claiming superior morality; also propagated by male leaderships.

Never hesitate questioning legitimacy of and reasoning behind male dominated 'authority'. It is always self-serving at the expense and sacrifices of subscribers. That is an atheist's FUNCTION in the broader scope because many 'gods' masquerade as visible entities with the same male creators.

The post below me... "There is no shame in survival" I feel is the best thing posted here. You are 18 and presumably living with your parents. Do what you need to do to survive! That doesn't help... I know. But the only thing that is going to help you here, I feel, is time. You need time to sort out your own feelings. Those feelings are ones that need to originate from within YOU. In my mind, having someone here tell you what to do is just as bad as having the church tell you what to do... You need to discover on your own what path is best for you! It's not easy and sometimes it is downright SCARY... But that is what we all face at some point.

Tell your friends and family that you need space to get through this and that if they push... They risk pushing you away and YOU don't want that... They shouldn't either.

Come back here and read and post. I never went through what you are going through... I had different life experiences. But others here have and I would think it would be a great support group for you to help figure things out!

Holds out both hands.. in one hand is a blue pill.. in the other hand is a red pill.