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Do you think that men have become more feminine recently?

It might be just me but nowadays it seems men are becoming more feminine, doing their hair every day, dressing up, buying fancy shoes, talking about their feelings a lot, etc.

I used to look at those guys in school and the girls loved them. But they were so dumb and weak. Useless in a fight and not much substance in their brains.

We had a program in my school called the "rite journey" where boys and girls would select a mentor from family friends and they would do things together on the weekend. My mentor took me sailing. It was a program to basically give the kids good role models who they could confide in that were not their parents.

During a rite journey class my teacher (A South African man) met us at the door and separated all of the boys into 3 groups. At first I was confused but then he said. "We are going to talk about what attracts different women. Which really interested me since I'd never had a girlfriend and at that time because the bullies spread rumors about me, everyone in the school feared me.

So he said "You boys in group 1 are what western women look for. You are feminine, express your feelings and take time to make yourselves look good, generally women in the USA, UK, Australia will look for men like you. You boys in group 2, you are borderline. You are moderately strong, diligent in your studies, respectful and intelligent. You are what women who want a high quality of life look for, generally women in Asia, North America and Europe look for men like you. You boys in group 3, you're the physically strong ones, the work horses. You work hard, you're tough and most of all you exude strength. Women in South America, Africa and some less developed Asian or European nations will prefer you."

He explained that the reason for this was because women's priorities were different. Some women wanted emotional security, others wanted financial security and some needed physical security. So the priorities would start at group 3 and move to 2 then move to 1. If women no longer needed a man to protect them they would move to group 2, and once they had financial security from either a job or an alternative income (a man, parents or alimony) they would move to look for men in group 1. The most attractive males.

This approach seemed to make sense to me but since I was a group 2 but my teacher said at the end "You are a bit of a mix between group 2 and 3" to which I responded "I guess I'll see you in South Africa for my wedding them" Since he was a bible fearing christian. Still he was a great man.

So, is this analogy accurate or do you think that more feminine men are what all women want regardless of their personal situations?

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Lancer 7 Jan 31
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39 comments (26 - 39)

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1

I express my feelings. I think that is why women like me and men don't

twill Level 7 Jan 31, 2018
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No I don’t think men are getting more feminine. As far as what kind of man a woman wants that would be a crapshoot as there’s no telling what those temperamental and somewhat crazy females are going to like.

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unfermented soy jammed up every orifice, plus atrazine in the water supply will do that, yes

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I don't think it is completely accurate but it does break things down a bit, and in high school it may work but putting boys and girls into these groups is not benefitial. I did not fit into a group in grammar school, wew were divided up by abilities A B, C and D. Class clown in A with the studious, not put in B since my twin was there and way too smart for C - my answers were always getting copied. On orders from my mom she did not want my twin and I in the same classes. I had teachers pit one against the other. School was a challenge for me.
The original ? of boys being more feminine - I don't think so. Dressing well and impeccable hygiene don't make you feminine but it the outter show is all there is to the person that is an issue.

In HS there were twin boys in some of my classes. They were "smart asses" and used to mess up the teacher's minds by taking over the other's place in classes they did not have together.

Another memory from this site.

@JackPedigo We only switched classes on ONE fucking day and the teachers got sooooooooooo pissed. I was Class Treasurer and one teacher thought I should be removed. Geeeeeez, they had no sense of humor. Classmates were highly amused as they all had figured out the differences long ago.

@silverotter11 It only took a couple of times for the teachers to catch on.

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Look through history. Men used to wear heels, do as much makeup as women in many cultures, jewelery too.

Completely depends on how you define masculine and feminine. I think it's fairly irrelevant personally.

fair enough.

My main point was just how attraction in different countries and situations is based on the idea of "relationships out of necessity".

I personally don't mind what men or women do, wear, etc. I was just raising the point that we need masculine qualities of leadership, camaraderie, sacrifice, etc. in society otherwise we will become weak and inevitably be destroyed.

It is happening but I don't really care, I'll just move somewhere else.

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Stereotyping by nationality is just as silly as saying that all women are alike, and this victim of toxic masculinity who was held up as a mentor for you managed to say both at the same time (that women all ultimately want the same thing, but she will want something different depending on her circumstances, and as soon as her circumstances change, she will want someone different. How shallow did this guy think women are?). On top of that - how did he come to determine which boy went in each group? Did he actually research each boy's attributes through tests of strength, intelligence tests, and character reports, and all the boys fit into one of 3 matching sets of characteristics - except you, who the teacher said fit in between categories?

Who says a strong guy can't make himself look good? Or that intelligent guys can't respectfully express their feelings? And what did he mean by feminine anyway? The first computer programmers were all women with advanced degrees in mathematics - back when those things were considered women's work, garnered so little respect that the women were barely acknowledged, and were low-paying fields despite both being at least as challenging then as they are now. Now math and computer programming are high paying, male-dominated fields held in high esteem. So what did feminine mean to him, besides just something generally regarded as an insult spewed out by many "traditional" men?

The school must have been pretty desperate for volunteer mentors to scrape the bottom of the barrel for this guy. I was glad to hear that a teacher stayed in the room to monitor this rather than the school just leaving you kids alone with this creep.

Different women do have different tastes, but it is not a function of where women live. Strong, hardworking, tough guys do find women in America. So do guys with any assortment of any of those and other characteristics. And women have a wider variety of tastes than just wanting one of 3 types of security. Some women may have a checklist of what they want, others have some core values that are important to them but are flexible as far as many assortments of possible traits.

Beyond that, although it matters a lot that you not do what women fairly universally don't want you to do (don't rape, don't use violence except so far as the minimal necessary force to protect yourself or others - including her, don't cheat, don't take advantage of her, don't be mean to her) it does not matter so much what women want as who is best at supporting your effort to be a man who you can really respect. Growing up means becoming your own role model.

Be who you can respect, and the right woman will also respect you and support you in becoming your best. If you're going to be happy, she also has to be someone you can respect and who you will support in her becoming her best.

Who you develop a passion for and who develops a passion for you is complicated enough to almost appear random, but the difference between love and lust is the difference between being an overall positive in each others' lives, and living through a drama filled nightmare.

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Metrosexuality or as I prefer to call " just gay enough " is not new in terms of grooming. This has been around for centuries. However being able to express feelings and getting in touch with our feminine side is the reverse bounty we get from feminism. Yes woman are taking more roles that have been tradisionaly mens but now we get to spend time with our children. When/where I grew up a man would never be seen pushing a buggy. I cannot even recall any guys playing ball with their sons.
As to the types of guys women are attracted to? Women are complex and individualistic. However we can say that there are 2 archetypes that they are genetically programed to be attracted to. First is the James Stewart archetype. As personified in " It`s a wonderful life ". A kind loving family man who provides well for his family and never goes astray. Secondly there is the Errol Flynn archetype. Who to put it bluntly is a shagger. Wherever he lays his hat etc. Women will want to settle down with the former but be attracted to the latter. Ideally a woman will want children by both types. Therefore ensuring that whilst the Stewart guy looks after the offspring there will be a Flynn to carry on the line.
All this aside there is no substitute in attractiveness amongst males for success. Women will definitely go for money and power. If I am wrong in this respect then I can only conclude that Jerry Hall must have discovered that Rupert Murdoch has a fantastic sense of humour.

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When I was lad you never even saw mens moisteriser in a shop,ever .Now my local supermarket has a whole isle for mens grooming products.The only men s grooming product you might see would be a jar of Brylcreem hair cream for that really greasy slicked back look. As far as scents went a bottle of Old Spice aftershave that gave 3rd degree burns when you splashed it over your skin like a tidal wave...as the advert showed.
Now I see facial creams,scrubs,lotions for under the eyes,hair thickners,hand creams,shower gels,body sprays, etc etc. Without wishing to sound homophobic in my younger days you would not be seen dead buying any of this stuff.
PS I do like the range of mens moisterisers now and no longer have to steal my wifes.

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I remember in the 60's trying to bring makeup and skirts for men. Then Unisex look came in with everyone sharing tops. Then the 80's you had guys with eyeshadow and painted nails. I don't even pierced my earlobe. I grew up with long hair before the beatles knew how to play music. But all this tight pants and shirt shit. Not my style. I am a 20th century man. I will die in the 21st century. There is a segment of the fashion world always trying to feminine men. Is Up To Us To Accept It or Not. Not Me, Not My Style. I know my lane, I like my lane. I grew up with fistfights and whistling the pretty ladies yet... I don't do catcalls. I look at my son... no pierced earlobe, no tattoo, short hair... looking like a superhero... and dancing like one... He knows what time it is... He knows his father well. He is Man.

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more open about it is all

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The media plays a huge part, now more than ever.

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I am done polling here.

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Something struck a nerve. I read a recent posting about a mega-church minister in Seattle (Mark Driscoll) His churches were called Mars Hill and there were 3 and even a Mars Hill "college". One of his churches was a block from my house. He was for a while, the religion editor for the Seattle paper until he got radical. He would go on about how men had grown weak and become "Chick-a-fied". He is still a piece of work and , unfortunately many women follow him.

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As the question asserted, it is different in different parts of the world.

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