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Do you and your spouse agree on the god thing?

My wife and I do not, and the chasm slowly gets wider day by day. Married 26 years. Is there anyone out there who can relate? I'm at a loss as to how to even broach the subject anymore.

By TimothyJ4
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I had a spouse once. We did not agree. I will never have another spouse.

I am free.

I have often wondered how different my life would be ...

@TimothyJ Well, try it and see.

We're now in Seuss territory.


Married 35 years,she believes I do not .She accepts me and I accept her .She is not religious.This has NEVER caused any problems .The two of you should avoid the subject.Unless she is overly religious and continues to put you down, but I do not know enough about your situation.A persons morals,integrity,honesty etc Is far more important .

The put downs have mostly subsided. Read: its been quite some time since the overt outbursts.

My wife goes to church most Sundays but is not a religous fanatic by any stretch. We have agreed not to discuss religion as she knows I’m not a believer. We’ve coped with our differences on religion for 43 years.


im just starting 30yrs bro it levels out yes,why do you feel the need to even talk about beliefes just love each other nothing eles matters

zenith01 Level 5 Nov 9, 2018

Nope. I say god is Freddie Mercury, she says it’s David Bowie. It’s always been a huge issue in our relationship.

OK, I’m single, I just wanted to leave a silly comment. Please don’t mind me. Cheers!

ce54r Level 3 Nov 9, 2018

I think a relationship has to evolve - just like people should. I'm not the same person I was at 20. I was married for 25 years and the chasm grew so wide there just wasn't any point any more. Everything has an expiration date. I tried to grow as a person, reading, thinking. He did not. Those taboo subjects of politics and religion are our new reality. I think how one approaches both is an indicator of a person's values. Republicans have become white supremacists and many evangelicals are eating it up. I respect anyone's right to practice their faith as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else and they don't try to shove their ideology onto you.

That said, maybe discussing it in counseling may help.


My wife an I have been together for over 28 years, but she has become very religious over the past 11 years. She keeps saying that she's praying for my soul and even called our oldest son a devil child because he never wanted to go to church and I wouldn't make him.

Forward to today, I live in TN and she lives with our 13 year old son in GA. We are now legally separated and haven't seen each other for almost 2 years. So in my case I am confident that religion caused it and I'm not changing my beliefs for anyone, period. But for you Timothy I hope it works out for you brother.

Aside from the locations, I could written what you did.


Fortunately my (ex)husband of 37 years and I agreed upon the topic of religion with regards to our children. He really didn't care about religion or a god, and was fine with my teaching our three children about religions - and that was from a historical and possibly relevant-to-daily life perspective. I wanted them to know about religions, but taught them as informational, and not as an encouragement to join any religions. None of the children (now all in their 30's) have any religion in their lives, they are all science-based in their approach to life and related subjects! My former mother-in-law did complain occasionally that I was raising the children with my anti-religion biases! I responded that what I was doing was no different than what is done by religious parents, in teaching them MY way. Yet I was teaching them with a reasonable perspective in my case: I was teaching them about life with my own beliefs, but I was not FORCING them to accept my choice. I was informing them of the options, not only ONE option. She never understood!

Rustee Level 7 Feb 25, 2019

We agree 100% as do our children and their children. We are all atheists.

Marine Level 8 Jan 11, 2019

I had an atheist partner once when I was a Christian, but I never brought it up. I think the friction would come from either partner trying to change the other.

Orbit Level 7 Dec 17, 2018

My wife and I have never agreed even when dating. For us that's not very important compared to what we have together. But TBH, my wife and I hardly ever agree and to the outsider it may seem we are totally incompatible, but we look at it as our differences compliment each other's.


My late wife and I were pretty much in sync on there being no God....


Does one goad the other? Probably best not to broach the subject unless the god thing you don’t share is bigger than your relationship in which case there’s not much more to say.


No! My significant other are at polar opposites when it comes to god, ie agnostic vs lutheran. We also disagree on politics, sports teams, movies and many social questions. Debates can be loud and we frequently point out that the other persons position is, "nuts". The key is that we totally respect each others right to believe what they want and that it really is ok to disagree. Point is not to allow it to become a power struggle. It actually is fun!

Marktzu Level 5 Nov 13, 2018

I was catholic my wife Methodist we were married in episcopal church became Unitarians and atheists together as we evaluated religion together. Are you able to sit down and discuss the issue together without an argument starting if not I would suggest that you sit down and just set up the rule that you will not question her religion if she just accepts you will remain an atheist. You must have known about these things when you married, Find that time again and live a great time together.

Marine Level 8 Nov 9, 2018

Yup we both know is bull shit


My exes and I do not agree. Meaning the mothers of my children. One is Italian and grew up in a heavily religious family. They force their kids into church at an early age. The other is Hispanic. They too force their kids into religion. We avoided talking about it because it's a sore subject for them.


Her faith is STRONG. I am deeply skeptical and question virtually every aspect of organized faith and ideas of God/gods. Spurs good conversations.

pinefox Level 6 Nov 8, 2018

We used to have good conversations. Not so much anymore.


I'm sorry to hear that man. I wish I had advice but I've feared if my wife ever became religious what would happen and I don't think it would be good.

Does she want you to go to church with her? Kids involved?

Bosshaus Level 4 Nov 8, 2018

Church yes. Kids no (they and I share similar beliefs)

@TimothyJ That's tough with church. I went so many times growing up but now I fear I'd either feel sick or be laughing at every statement. I can't imagine she'd appreciate that.

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