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I just found out today that someone I used to be very close to died from cancer. Apparently she had been sick for a while and I never heard anything about it. We had a falling out on facebook over something or other, and unfriended each other.

Now it seems incredibly petty, but there's not much I can do about it.

Have you ever cut ties over something that really doesn't matter much in the long run?

ThereisnoDog 5 Feb 8

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11 comments

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0

had a good friend who turned on me for her own reasons. she left the area and tried to break up my marriage at the same time by divulging second hand info that put me in a bad light. She just died 2 days ago . I've virtually never lost a good friend before let alone have them die and now I am faced with the funeral. shall I go ?

1

I found out three years after the fact that an exgirlfriend I dated while in the military had died of breast cancer before she was even 30. It hurt because we had parted under unresolved feelings for each other. I have since found a great love, yet I can not help but feel I failed her some how.

I would think that you had many mixed feelings about your ex. Even i, felt a stab of hurt for such a woman so young to have died of breast cancer. And, that you only found out much later, another hurt factor. Life just happens, in spite of us! Our hurt, at least indicates we care deeply.

1

No. I do not cut ties easily -- only when I feel that I have been betrayed, taken advantage of, or seriously lied to.

0

I'm sorry about your the loss. I know something like that could make me re-think cutting someone out of my life. I usually don't do that unless it was over something very serious and had progressed to the state where I felt I had no other choice; if anything, I tend to hang on to people sometimes longer than I should.

0

You may be feeling grief and helpless, right now! You can't go back and fix a single thing. It could have been important or unimportant...your feelings will still be that of hurt. She also could have stepped forward to try and make amends and shared her cancer news, but she didn't! It has been my experience, that I am only responsible for one side of the equation in any relationship! We are stuck with only a guess as to what might/could be in the mind of another person and we rarely even come close! Find a way to forgive yourself and your friend and maybe honor your friend in some specific way...everything is energy and if it does not find her...it will help to set you free!

4

By the time I'm to the point where I cut someone out of my life, there's always more than just "one thing" which has precipitated it. However, once it's done, it stays done. When I found out that my mother had died, I had no guilt over the fact that we'd had no relationship for years. That was her choice. As it turned out, I had reached out to her for what was the last time in May of 2002, and she died in March of '03. I didn't learn of her death until nearly ten years later. Sometimes, it just works out that way and we never get closure, or a reconciliation. There's no point in beating ourselves up over what is done.

2

it is what it is my friend and now your the only one who can even think about it so it's pointless holding onto that as it can only hurt you. remember you unfriended each other and it could have been the other way around so I would move on.

0

Haven't quite gone that far, as I recall, but I did get pretty pissed and snarky toward my older brother when he defended Trump one time. Then, after I calmed down and thought about it, I realized what an ass I'd been and let it all go. My brother, the guy that looked out for me when I was a kid, and is way smarter than me. WTF was was I thinking?

Sorry about your friend. It hurts.

1

Part of life

2

Yes. Life is fleeting but our minds tend to work hard at being in denial of this. I'm sorry for your loss.

2

I'm so sorry for the loss of both the relationship and the person you cared about. I have definitely had a falling out with people over issues both serious and petty.

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