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Things you don't find acceptable.

In a relationship there is ment to be mutual love, respect and understanding. My question is.
What is it in a partner you find unacceptable. Let me kick it off so you know where I'm going.

Hygiene like personal hygiene. With a list.
Not washing properly.
Not washing hands after the loo.
Picking at feet then not washing hands.
Little regard for cleanliness.
Others include.
Intolerance to others.
The list can go on but you get the idea. What is you find or found intolerable about your past or in some cases present partner.?

By darien75
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chewing with mouth open
thrashing around or jiggling knees or tapping toes on the floor
tapping the table with a pencil
giggling, out of control laughing (mostly my kids do this)

celticagent Level 7 Nov 27, 2018

What does picking at feet mean ?

indirect76 Level 7 Nov 22, 2018

To disgusting to describe


I like all the things on your list, and I would add Dishonesty to the top of it.

Deb57 Level 7 Nov 21, 2018

Thank you. And yes dishonesty is a big no no


Self-centered; lack of empathy; spoiled by their parents; lacks independence (not just too dependent on me, but anyone)

MagicOfReality Level 3 Nov 21, 2018

I agree with that self entitled brats who think tredding on the backs of others is acceptable


Never met anyone in the dating scene that had personal hygiene problems, so I'll stick to personality dealbreakers: Likes country music much. Everything RealHuman said below, Homophobe, Dishonesty, Conservsative politics, undependability.

TomMcGiverin Level 5 Nov 21, 2018

Hygiene is very important. I went to a guys house once and I went to the bathroom and noticed there was no hand soap/bar of soap, nothing to wash hands with. I asked him where the soap was. He told me he could let me use his soap that he showers with and says he usually doesn’t wash his hands! I was really disgusted. I’m a nurse and I know how filthy hands get. We didn’t go out anymore after that.
Also, I can’t be with someone who is racist or sexist. That is a total turn off.
Just a couple of deal breakers.

Susan74 Level 4 Nov 20, 2018

I agree totally one thing I'm very strict on is cleanliness if you can't even have soap to wash hands with that's bad. And yes sexism and racism are a huge no no

My ex-wife rarely washes her hands. She thought our youngest was OCD because he would wash his hands before and after he ate. I just thought, isn't that normal? You clean up to eat, then there may be crumbs or grease on your hands to wash off after you eat. She also never washed her hands after using the toilet. She's so disgusting that she thinks normal hygiene is abnormal.


Bigotry. Pride without Humility. Excessive insecurity. Self-absorbed. Lack of compassion. Apathy. Poor listening skills. Lazyness. Materialistic.

RealHuman Level 5 Nov 20, 2018

I empathise with you on all those


There are several. Dishonesty, lack of compassion or empathy, narcissism, dislike of children (I have one), misogyny, no sense of humor, etc.

Paracosm Level 7 Nov 20, 2018

All great point thank you


Being an avid Trump supporter would be a serious strain on the relationship

ATDayHiker Level 6 Nov 20, 2018

A trumpetier would dampen the mood indeed


I'm in recovery from substance abuse, so I stay away from partners who use or engage in addictive behavior.

There are certain religious and political beliefs that would be a no go. Reckless financial habits. Young kids. Too many pets, that would be determined on a case by case basis.

Bad hygiene. Certain musical tastes. Mean or rude people. Narcissistic behavior. Reckless driving. Incompatible diets. Filthy living conditions. Flakey behavior. Lying.

KissedbySun Level 7 Nov 20, 2018

Sounds like you have put a lot of indepth thought into your list. I applaude you and your fight on your issue. I'm no expert but I do know how to listen.


At this point, Christian, Conservative, or New Age... Those things just drive me nutso.

Benthoven Level 8 Nov 20, 2018

Besides my usual red flags of tobacco use and having/wanting children, another big no for me is ignoring me/the house in favour of video games. My ex-gf ignored me. My housemates ignore upkeep. Gaming itself isn't a deal breaker but I don't think I'd live with or date another gamer unless they were a really conscientious person.

memorylikeasieve Level 7 Nov 20, 2018

I totally don't understand gaming at all. I can't stand it so I know where you are coming from.

A general disconnection from humanity in favor of constantly sticking your face in electronics is a BIG red flag.

@PalacinkyPDX yet we are all on and off here daily

@darien75 Ouch! Too true. smile009.gif

@PalacinkyPDX. I must admit we all are to used to smart phones, smart tv's and tablets/computers it's hard not to be engrossed in silly things.

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