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Where do you draw the line?

What difference in age is a limitation for you in a relationship? 5 yrs/ 10 yrs/ more?

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By SadbDanae
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52 comments

6

I think as long as you care about one another and are healthy in your relationship, age shouldn't matter all that much.

Librophile13 Level 6 Nov 28, 2018
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5

Too big of an age difference and it is doubtful you will have that much in common.

snytiger6 Level 8 Nov 28, 2018
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5

I don't like boundaries. If I say I won't date someone younger than say, 55, or older than 75, the man of my dreams might be out there looking for me and he's 54 or 76. If I say I won't date a man who lives more than 100 miles away, the perfect man may be at 101 miles. That doesn't mean I want to date someone in his 40s. It just means that I'm aware that if we're too rigid with our restrictions there's a lot we might miss out on.

ProudMary Level 8 Nov 28, 2018
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I'm 76 and most people my age do not have the energy or stamina that I have. I exercise daily and i swing dance once, twice and sometimes three times a week and more often than not, the young ladies are asking me to dance with them.

5

Oops, I picked 5 years instead of 10. It's still early for me! As for the age thing I think, too, that it depends on the person and how I feel about them. If I loved them with everything I had to give then I'd have to go for it. Why not be happy?

RhondaShotwell Level 5 Nov 28, 2018
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5

No specific limit but maturity can be an issue as I discovered.

Skeptic66 Level 7 Nov 28, 2018
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5

Completely depends on the person. One of the happiest relationship I know, right now, he is 54, she is 76...she used to babysit him!

AnneWimsey Level 8 Nov 28, 2018
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5

...picking up dates at a funeral.....high five!

goldenvalleyguy Level 7 Nov 28, 2018
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Almost as good as picking up dates at a family reunion...

@Elganned (I would SO bang a few of my cousins....but....I've not been able to get them drunk enough).....

4

My first question is: Why does a line have to be drawn? That's an individual preference.

Speakeasy Level 4 Nov 30, 2018
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For me a relationship is not about just two people. It’s about where you are in life.. professionally and personally. To date a person in thier 20’s who’s just starting out would be ridiculous. I’m well established and don’t desire to deal with someone’s mommy issues. Someone too much older may not understand that I have kids that come first. It’s a balancing act. One cannot be selfish.. maybe when I’m older.

To assume that some one much older may not understand the person younger who has kids that come first, from my perspective is false and it is a statement that would have to be demonstrated in every case to be at least most likely. This is funny in a way, because looking back at my family records, I learned that my grand father's second wife, was 40 years younger than he was and they got along as well as those couples that were comparatively the same ages. I'm not t trying to drag you across the threshold, but just to let you know that I'm having a hard time understanding your reasoning. If I'm wrong, I am capable of changing my mind.

And TC is asking what pur individual preferences are. I thought that was obvious.

4

Age doesn't matter as much as intentions and connection does. I feel I can relate better to someone closer in age since we are in a similar stage in life.

Jaed Level 4 Nov 28, 2018
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4

I say ten years -/+. I've tried going even younger, but it's too complicated.

kraseyk Level 4 Nov 28, 2018
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4

I don't draw the line....the line gets drawn at me 😨

IamNobody Level 8 Nov 28, 2018
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Ditto.

4

It would have to do with other things. Like if you dated someone 10 years younger how mature are they about relationships. If I get involved into a relationship I’m devoted all the way til the bitter end.

AdamWarlock Level 4 Nov 28, 2018
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4

I have always considered 10 years the outer limit because someone that younger or older is just in a different place. I have always preferred age-appropriate relationships. Particularly when your partner is younger, you end up being a parent figure / mentor / baby-sitter and that's just too much.

In my previous marriage I was 5 years younger than my wife, and that worked out fine. That's the most experience I have though.

mordant Level 8 Nov 28, 2018
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4

I can't vote because there's no upper limit for me, but for younger, I tend not to go for anyone under ~24 or so, so my range is -12 to positive infinity.

PolyWolf Level 7 Nov 28, 2018
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4

I’m 48, I will not date anyone younger than 40. I prefer to date older, and will go about 10 years or so. It really depends on thier spirit.

Green_eyes Level 7 Nov 28, 2018
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3

The only legal limit is adulthood. ...but obviously I have no clue about the newest musical groups or code words for joy in the newest and middle generations when I was 43 I dated a woman 66 the mother of a high school class mate....perhaps she chose me to learn code leading her son back to an empty nest ???? I will date a woman 91 in a heartbeat if she loves me and we take bubble baths together sing duets and LOBBY FOR PEACE through GREEN Jobs

GreenAtheist Level 7 Dec 1, 2018
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3

No limit for women older than me. A definite limit for the younger.

indirect76 Level 7 Nov 29, 2018
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3

Age is irrelevant. In my relationships, I'm only interested in the way that our personalities work together. That being said, there probably isn't much that I would have in common with a 19yo, or a 60yo.

ScubaWags Level 6 Nov 28, 2018
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3

Half plus seven. I'm 53. 26.5+7= 33.5. 33 is the youngest I'll go. 53-7=46; 46*2=92. 53 is half plus seven for 92 so that would be the upper limit.

Realistically I want someone who is in the same place in their life as I am. I'm looking to retire in another ten to fifteen years. If there is someone younger who is planning an early retirement or who perhaps has the ability to travel with me even though they are still working then that age is entirely appropriate and would be considered as a possible long term relationship for me. What I've found is that I have commonalities with people who are within 15 years of me. 38-68.

Nukdookum Level 7 Nov 28, 2018
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3

I prefer older men, 10, 15, even 20 years older. However even 5 years younger makes me squeamish.

Marcie1974 Level 8 Nov 28, 2018
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So 62 is perfect for you!

@Lop-Eared-Mule YES! Some of it depends upon looks and energy. I've met men in their late 40's that look like they're in their late 60s and vise versa.

3

I voted five. At my age, anymore would be creepy lol.

Cutiebeauty Level 8 Nov 28, 2018
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3

I said 5, but only because of how things have worked out so far. I don't have a problem with an age difference so much as I do a maturity level difference. I have usually been attracted more to men my age or older, but that doesn't mean all younger men are immature or that all older men aren't. So I wouldn't rule someone out based on age alone (outside of underage gents, which is a big NOPE from me) just like I wouldn't rule them out based on looks or health or a number of other things on there own merit. Yes, these things are measured and weighed, so to speak, but they are all just parts of a big picture and if I only kept my eye out for one I might not see the amazing work of art right in front of me that they create when put together.

Byrd Level 7 Nov 28, 2018
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3

As a practical matter, age difference is something one needs to consider in long term relationships where children are involved. In those cases, if the man is older, it is wise to consider what his lineage has shown in terms of longevity before making any commitments.

The example I use here is myself and my wife (I know this case). Our age difference is 15 years. The oldest child is 49 and our youngest is 30. I am now 78 and my wife is 63. We have a good relationship, are not wealthy, but moderately comfortable. I came from a family known for the longevity of its members on both sides. We thought it would be a safe bet and it has proven to be so, at least to date.

If it's not a relationship where there will be ongoing responsibilities like children, I doubt that age difference is of any particular importance and the satisfaction derived will be dependent upon the attitudes and expectations of the participants.

evidentialist Level 8 Nov 28, 2018
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2

Age is just a number to me. Maturity is a different story though.

Johnne0 Level 2 Dec 3, 2018
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2

I really do think it is totally ridiculous to judge any one by age differences except what is outside of our laws. I know personally one person who thought she would be better off being with some one her own age rather than the one she was with who was 7 years older than she was that became violent when he was drunk and beat the crap out of her when she nagged him about him being drunk. Well, she got her wish when she ran off with this guy her own age. To make a long story short. that younger guy her own age was an alcoholic, and when he got drunk, he would regularly beat the crap out of her. So, age is a very poor gauge by which to measure anything.

Speakeasy Level 4 Dec 3, 2018
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