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#MeToo

What do you consider sexual harassment?
Do you think #MeToo has been a good/bad thing and why?

Crimson67 8 Feb 12
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66 comments (26 - 50)

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2

I feel/think the MeToo movement is a wonderful thing for women and a chance for men to maybe learn something. White males rule. It is that simple, the belief white women are 'weaker' all around is false but it does work to control us. I use the term white male as it is primarily the group in the U.S. responsible for most of the sexual harassment, all other males second and then females. There are certainly levels of sexual harassment, my comments deal with most egregious. Sometimes I have let the little shit fly by because it just isn't worth forcing the issue. My career in the printing industry was doing jobs that men mostly held in the past. So certain things were a given and ya just have to shine alot of it on - there's a deadline to meet. That would be the comments and general behavior, touch me and you die. The good thing about the printing industry back then, when the crap got too deep I could just quit and within days find new employment. If I really liked a place I'd fight back and not take it, I wore proudly the label BITCH. If you were perceived as needing the job it would be worse. The pendulum will swing with outrageous whiners and accusations but common sense will prevail and we will all be better for it. Now if racism could be also dealt with I'd be a happy camper.

I believe the pendulum part. It is obvious that the pendulum from Obama to tRump has swung to the opposite extreme. Hopefully, it will return to a mid-point.

I like to remind people that for a 'civilized' society it is not "might makes right" but "right makes might"!

@JackPedigo YES!!

2

My eighth grade daughter was getting slapped on the back and butt by boys who think it is funny. She “solved” the problem by changing her timing to avoid the offenders. We still need better examples of how to get along.

Lauxa Level 5 Feb 12, 2018

It's sad that she had to do that. It's always good to teach children to stand up for themselves but teachers and aids should step in and reprimand every boy who acts so disrespectfully.

Males slap other males on the butt, watch baseball and football, so I’m unsure this is always a sexual or belittling thing. I understand that it ought to stop but very ingrained acts of physical contact are not quickly changeable. The butt slap is certainly more aggregious than one to an arm but I’ve experienced women actually wreath because I touched her back to indicate she should go ahead of me. Fears and joys tend to cause extreme displays of action.

The boy would run up, slap her, then run back to his friends where they would all giggle.

2

I think the pendulum has swung too far ! As always , it’s now out of control ! A flirt or a touch is a far cry from rape , Weinstein is the far end of the pendulum ,total abuse ! Forcing women in vulnerable sisuations to do unwanted sexual acts ? Especially abusing their power ? As in the job is in the balance ? Women accept the abuse coz they need the work . Very sad ????.
But flinging the term “sexual harassment “ all over the place for the least little infringement ? Is going overboard ,a guy loosing his job for something that was once “ the usual “ but is now
UNACCEPTABLE ? Even a goddamn word is a sackable offence ! FFS ! We need to get our scales re balanced , ok draw the line but enjoy the craic ,????????????

2

Interesting that mostly men are opining on this.
Let me say, as a father of a daughter, I think it is a very good thing and I hope it leads to equality and and help weed out predators.
As the father of a son, I am concerned that the lines of consent have gotten fuzzy. But maybe it is just me who is fuzzy.

That is interesting.

2

Yes it has been wonderful. Trump has done the nation a favor by showing us what a real male pig looks like up close and as president. The metoo movement is outstanding in that it is capturing the attention of the nation. If trump were not such an ass hole, we may not be hearing about this time

EMC2 Level 8 Feb 12, 2018
2

The intention of #Me Too is a good one, don't get me wrong. But they have to be careful that it doesn't become a witch hunt.

2

I was aware of the incidence of sexual abuse from my work.It is higher than the average person would ever suspect. This may have brought things in the open but some things mentioned seemed not so serious to me. Making a succinct definition is difficult though because it is the act and the perception of the act on the receiving end

1

I've always thought that you can say something once but if you get a negative response then the second time is harassment. But any more I've heard some things that seem innocent that people have gone crazy over. That's why now I never am first to say anything.

1

I'm sure I don't have to say this but I will anyway in case there are any women who don't know.

It's no good giving a man a disapproving look - he won't understand it.

It's no good giving a subtle hint, he'll miss it; a moderate hint, he'll miss that too; a strong hint, he'll miss that as well.

Probably best to say "Please don't do that/speak like that.

That leaves him the option to apologise, say he didn't mean anything by it and exit without losing face.

(Goes to find tin hat and kevlar jacket 🙂 )

1

Sexual harassment for me is if someone touches me in an unwanted sexual way. Someone can say anything with a sexual connotation to me but they will also get a response that will make them blush so hard that blood will pour out of every orifice of their body lol

1

I just saw this & it reminded me of this post . I see this trend happening , for the better , as a result of equality , & it's progress 👍😀👍

[patheos.com][!]%20Newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=NL%20NonReligious&utm_content=49393
Dougy Level 7 Feb 12, 2018
1

I suppose anything that makes the other person feel uncomfortable sexually.
I've seen guys who will drop sexual innuendo into nearly every sentence they speak to a woman.
Hell, it makes me uncomfortable when I hear it.

I think the 'Me too' movement is a good thing, women aren't as afraid to speak up about the harassment they've had to endure.
Many times it happens in the workplace and there is a real fear of losing their career if they spoke up.
Now we're starting to see the opposite where the accused are losing their positions because of their actions.

1

Any unwanted sexual remarks or postings on workplace walls or conditions of employment demanding sexual activity. ...yes MeToo is healing many people and outing perpetrators less free to re-offend now. ...Cosby needs to die in jail for his rapist lifestyle given drugs and raped by inmates so he finally learns how wrong he was to rape women with drugs

1

it has to be defined but should not rule out romantic overtures otherwise it's a cold world indeed

1

Disrespecting another human being is wrong. Making inappropriate sexual comments that makes someone uncomfortable is wrong. When someone tells you that it makes them uncomfortable and you refuse to stop, it is wrong. Making a pass at someone and the person turns you down, but refusing to accept no for an answer is wrong. Asking for sexual favors in order to get a job, to keep their job, or to get a promotion is wrong. Forcing someone to have sex with you is wrong. Touching someone inappropriately without their permission is wrong. It's not a hard thing to understand. #MeToo is a great movement to speak out against the wrongs that people have suffered.

that's a good definition of disrespecting

1

#MeToo is a VERY GOOD THING! Men that protest it are insensitive and will never be respected for not at least trying to see WHY this move will CONTINUE AND GROW in the coming years. Sexual harassment is anything vocal or action directed at someone simply because of their sex.

ParkS Level 4 Feb 12, 2018
1

I think it has been a good thing. We as a country, need women to be empowered to take their bodies back. Too many men still think they own their gf and children. I know we get tired of seeing or hearing about it all the time, but we need it for awhile

Kimmy Level 3 Feb 12, 2018
1

This is a the larger part of a reply below. I'm sure to get a lot of negativity over it. Have at it.

I have had married and or committed women grab me and or make quite forward comments towards me of a flirtatious nature. Do I label them as pigs also? Cry humiliation? Whine? I think it's quite a legitimate concern today as to how to approach a female when attraction arises for the male. I've even received some rather ugly comments and looks in recent years for holding a door open for women. Am I now to discontinue this gesture of once a gentlemanly thing to perform in society because a degree of females have determined it is some sort of disrespect? Hell, maybe I should quit opening doors for my woman then? Quit walking her to her door of our vehicles in an effort to safely get her in the vehicle first? Or place her on the outside of the sidewalk where it's more dangerous for a pedestrian. All in the name of what I consider a managed perception taking over our society. Don't get me wrong. I understand the nature of this issue and it's importance. I also understand that what we are seeing in the media is vastly an issue out of the range of most people on here which engulfs a class of people that have lived this way for centuries. Where do we as the norms of society draw the lines to avoid a managed perception being perpetrated onto us by the media in an effort I would argue are to divide us over the entitled population making the news today? The women of decades ago, centuries even, long gone who wallowed in this atmosphere to the heights of stardom and wealth today bare no negative retribution to this issue, yet today it's laid solely on the male population. And so we are labeled by society in our means to find companionship towards a potential life partnership? Yes, some go to far. Mainly those in a position of power to some degree. While the common men take the brunt of its negativity. The diversity of this issue is widely being ignored and men again are taking the brunt of it. I'm so glad to be set in this social aspect of life for the rest of my life! For fucks sake, good luck to those of you who are not.

1

It has gone on from the dawn of life itself , & we need to move forward by calling it for what it is . There will be false accusations , as usual , as nothing is 100% , but it is accomplishing more good , than harm . Evolution is occurring right before our eyes , & these times will be remembered , for so long as history is permitted to be taught .

Dougy Level 7 Feb 12, 2018
1

Harassment can be only felt by the person being harassed and how they feel. I think it could be very scary if some people stare at you in a certain way. other people swap partners or just brush it off. again it's perspective.

its like people think you have to be in a wheelchair to be disabled

1

There are ups and downs.

1

Sexual harassment has a clear definition, it is not open to interpritation. If you say sonething to someone and they tell you to not say it again, but you do, that is harassment. Whisteling or making a comment may be considered rude, but its not harassment unless it is the same person repeatedly making these unwanted advances. I think everyone was well aware that sexual harassment and assault exists before metoo started. I think it's a bad thing because it perpetuates this rape culture myth and makes life even harder for men. I can't even tell a girl that I think she is pretty with out worying that I might get sued and dragged through the mud.

You need to steep yourself in a culture where what you say is just "rude" happens repeatedly over your lifetime.And what you mentioned as just rude is just a minor tip of the iceberg.THink about having to wonder if someone is just kidding or if it is a serious threat all your life.Rape culture is not a myth. I understand you were upset on other threads about misandrist comments (wonder woman thread) I couldnt find it again and wanted to talk to you about it. SPeaking as someone maybe twice your age that has lived in this culture and tried to treat the wounds of it I see you have a lot to learn.,

I’m uncertain that harassment has a clear definition but, otherwise, I agree. Men now must tread carefully in order to avoid genuine and untrue accusations alike. We have long accepted women demeaning us (like the common “idiot” tag), and most chuckle about it, but now we can’t respond without risk. Is that harassment or merely the blip in time and advantage? Personally I would NEVER travel with a female colleague and would rather be fired than do so. I also don’t like being alone with children for fear of some future accusation.

@btroje I might be young, but I've been through more than you can imagine. I don't get upset about feminism. I just disagree with the narrative based on all the evidence. I don't just look at one side, I learn both and come to an informed, accurate conclusion.

Did you know that men are actually abused more than women? Did you know that every day I go to work I have to deal with unwanted comments? How about all the women who approach me that I have no interest in. What about all those women I approach that call me a potential rapist because I am a man? Or the ones who reject me viciously just for fun? How about the fact that I was a victim of sexual, physical and mental abuse? I know what I'm talking about, I understand more than you could possibly imagine. Pardon me for saying so, but I'm just not a little bitch about it.

@jayneonacobb I would like to see the statistics that state that men are more abused than women. They may be inacurate due to bias of reporting but both sexes are sexually traumatized with females exceeding males.You are mixing individual experience with statistics. Your description of your experience is not different from what I have heard a thousand times over the years. I assure you if I presented my experience alone it would be dismissed.and no I don't think you know what you are talking about . Part of the global problem, no matter the sex of the individual,l is to deny the truth of the victim's story. Women speaking up does not cancel the truth of your experience. I have been a psychiatrist for 25 years and worked in medicine before that. Serious mental illness is one part of psychiatry For the average person and including those with serious mental illness I would say trauma would be the most common denominator, sexual trauma being a subset of that. Trauma is the bread and butter of psychiatry. It is very rare to interview someone that has not had some kind of sexual trauma

One of Freud's early works was about neurosis related to incest. He ended up playing out the perennial drama of denying the truth of the victim and siding with the current establish and recapitulated on his premise in an act of self preservation.It is so much part of the culture people can no longer see it. For you as a male to dismiss my opinion as an experienced expert is part of the systemic phenomena of the perpetration of and support of abuse. I suggest you do some reading of scientific literature and not just rely on subjective experience. I think there is a shock on society right now because all of this is welling up in a tidal wave. Some of the recent events I do not agree with. However some of the reaction at the unfairness of it is weighted in the fact that men have not been treated the same as women have and it is shocking to them. I can not look at a picture of elements of our government, all male, that complain of being discriminated against as white men and feel much compassion.
The issues are real. The ways of handling the issues have always been flawed and now are flawed in a somewhat different fashion. It is an "interesting time" we live in as the CHinese might say but hopefully things will get hashed out in a more orderly way as time progresses.
I can't figure out where to put it in here but I viewed a video tape of an atheist speaking about the toxicity /pervasiveness of religion in culture on this website. He used the analogy of asking a fish to recognize water ( or something close to it) Sexual abuse, harassment, violence, discrimination and on can be seen as the same water. We all swim in it.
On this site I have seen it exemplified on the repeated posts about how prostitution is ok. THis is the site that demands scientific thinking and objective evidence. On the first thread I saw I reacted emotionally then provided links for some articles that disagreed with the common stance on the thread. To my knowledge most people didnt read them. THe second time the topic came up I just posted links to the research. I do not recall anyone acknowledging those either. This post is too long and I am going to stop now

@btroje I get what your saying, but I just don't believe that interpretation of the evidence. I also meant to say that more men are abused than people realized. I apologize for that oversight. I'm not discounting anyone here, I'm just saying that rape culture isn't a thing in the west (aside from Muslims). I don't feel pressured by western pop culture to rape people. If anything this "rape culture" exists as a culture of accusations and obsessions with the victimhood of rape. By all means, if you've been abused report it, please do. I support that. I don't support people who are tired of getting hit on equating their "struggle" with that of a pregnant 11 year old rape victim. Or using it as a platform for revenge from regret. Not do I appreciate being marginalized by those same people. That's why I don't like the narrative of metoo. Yes my experience matters. It is reliable data of the most intimate type. I like the idea of metoo, speak up and stop the injustice. I don't like what it's being used for by some people.

@AMGT I'm pretty sure I demonstrated that knowledge in referencing the Muslim tenancy to commit rape as part of their religious culture. So yes, I do know what it is. The West is not a rape culture.

@AMGT rape cul·ture
noun
a society or environment whose prevailing social attitudes have the effect of normalizing or trivializing sexual assault and abuse.
From Google.
Sounds a lot like Islam to me. Doesn't sound like the West though.
It's a made up term that doesn't accurately represent it's message. It's shocking, but inaccurate. I reject it because it's a rediculouse self defeating claim.

@AMGT I dismiss the made up term rape culture. There is no culture of rape, hence there can not be a rape culture. I've heard all the liberal feminist propaganda in those links before. That doesn't change the fact that "rape culture" doesn't exist. The very definition of the term is wrong. We have a term for those things. Harassment and assault. There is no culture based around these behaviors. They are behaviors. Rape culture perpetuates the dangerous myth that all men want to rape people. It's sexist and wrong. There is no fancy mental acrobatics that will make me believe that this anti male agenda is something worth talking about.

1

This whole thing has made me wonder if I ever harassed anyone. I always thought of it as being stupid and just plain rude, but didn't rise to the level of harassment.

1

Yes it has been wonderful. Trump has done the nation a favor by showing us what a real male pig looks like up close and as president. The metoo movement is outstanding in that it is capturing the attention of the nation. If trump were not such an ass hole, we may not be hearing about this time

EMC2 Level 8 Feb 12, 2018
1

Unwelcome sexual advances including hostile workplace activity. The movement is kind of like that broken toilet at Danny's. Everyone knew it was broken, but they kept using it anyway. Finally, somebody told the manager and now it is being cleaned up. Unfortunately, somewhere out there is another Danny's and another broken toilet.

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