I waffle on this a lot having just re-entered the dating world about a year ago. You have a solid first date. Then radio silence. What’s an acceptable amount of time to give him? What’s an acceptable amount of time before you cross him off the list as a non-starter?
For context: no, I’m not waiting by the phone. I’ve had men text that night and had men vanish for 6 weeks and resurface. And I am dating around plenty. So, this is not a pity party. It’s... for science.
It's been said that it takes about a year before a person feels comfortable enough to let their guard down and show their true self. You can't expect to get to know someone in a few dates. If you really want to get to know someone quickly, live with them. That'll tell you a lot about a person really quick! People need to realize that not everyone moves as quick (or slow) as other people. That excitement that some feel when they first meet someone often fades over time. I like to call this NRE (New Relationship Energy). It's that primal urge/instinct to copulate. Succumb to the urges of pleasure. I like sex as much as the next guy (maybe even more), but I'm not interested in anything that isn't genuine and long term/life long when it comes to a relationship. So if you are expecting me to be all over that after just a few dates... well, it's gonna be a disappointing start to a budding relationship.
I'll give them 24 hours. If things went well and they're truly interested, they should be excited to continue speaking with you. If they stop talking to you after the first date, then it's time to move on and focus your energy on someone worth your time.
I would expect some sort of contact within 24 hrs. Have you contacted him? If at least one of you isn't excited enough about the encounter to follow up then its probably a nonstarter. Not saying I would write him off completely, just move on in my head.
If you really aren't waiting by the phone at all and it is for science because you really don't care then mabey you should just let it be.
If your wanting him to make the move for a 2nd date, he may just be oblivious that the first went so well. He might be nervous because he in fact does like you and is unsure how to proceed. I would say if you really like him and want to see him again don't wait, make this step your self and let him know. I said 3 days he might have stuff going on work/family/friends, but life is short and men are sometimes a bit dense.
Christ on a bike! Guess who just slid into my DMs?! See this is where my question lies. A solid week of no contact WHEN HE SPECIFICALLY SAID HE WAS GOING TO SEND ME HIS NUMBER SO WE MIGHT TEXT. I liked the date but am I rewarding bad behavior? I want people who are into me. Is he just not really?! Gah! Dating, y’all! It ain’t for the weak... just the crazy. ????
I think in today's society that women shodul feel free to make a follow up call. Phone lines work in tow diractions. Waiting for HIM to call is giving in to conventions and putting all the power into HIS hands. As a gay man, I'd never let a man have that much dominance over me. If you want equal say in a relationship, you need to establish it right from the start.
I said 3 days. he's either legitimately interested or he's not. a guy should not let the woman have to wonder what his status is. Whether interested or not, he should let her know one way or the other in a "reasonable" amount of time. I'd cut him 3 days slack just 'cause real life can throw stuff at you and distract you... 3 days oughta be enough for him to remember "oh, yeah! I had that date! I need to get back in touch with her!"