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When to write a man off?

I waffle on this a lot having just re-entered the dating world about a year ago. You have a solid first date. Then radio silence. What’s an acceptable amount of time to give him? What’s an acceptable amount of time before you cross him off the list as a non-starter?

For context: no, I’m not waiting by the phone. I’ve had men text that night and had men vanish for 6 weeks and resurface. And I am dating around plenty. So, this is not a pity party. It’s... for science.
#ididntdateinhighschool

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brainyactress 7 Dec 4
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44 comments (26 - 44)

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3

I would expect some sort of contact within 24 hrs. Have you contacted him? If at least one of you isn't excited enough about the encounter to follow up then its probably a nonstarter. Not saying I would write him off completely, just move on in my head.
If you really aren't waiting by the phone at all and it is for science because you really don't care then mabey you should just let it be.

MsAl Level 8 Dec 4, 2018

No, I agree. It’s just between scheduling and kids and work, I almost need a spreadsheet to keep up with the people in my life. Those spaces are valuable. Just figuring out the sweet spot for who gets my psychic energy and who gets deleted. There seems to be no in between.

2

This before or after you let them out of the basement ???

[giphy.com]

0

You're instincts should tell you so trust them, just don't over think it 🙂

0

Park outside his home .... ???? seriously, if you think the date was worth follow-up contact, and he is silent, take the initiative. But, i wouldn't give more than one chance to get on same page. You'll miss out on something good chasing after something that's not mutually exciting.

0

I'm dying,from the join a Convent but in all seriousness 3 days, everyone's worried about not coming off too needy but if he hasnt said anything at all within 3 days, I don't think he's dedicated or interested.

1

Why wait at all? If you felt a connection and want to explore the relationship further, just text him and offer a sceond date! If you don't feel that way, who cares if he texts at all?

0

Although the park outside his house is understandable...?

0

The world moves fast. If you're keen and wait 3 days you're gonna lose your turn. A lot.

0

Since I haven't been on a date for almost two years, I'm just here for the comments and reactions on others deal with 'the date'.

0

I would give the benefit of the doubt for a day or two, things happen, phones break, etc... Three days is good to me, I typically girls I'm dating on the daily, myself.

0

As a terrible communicator myself, I lean toward a week to 10 days.

2

I've been talked off, jerked off and blown off. Being written off sounds epic. I can't wait!

2

I'll give them 24 hours. If things went well and they're truly interested, they should be excited to continue speaking with you. If they stop talking to you after the first date, then it's time to move on and focus your energy on someone worth your time.

0

I guess I’m actually curious as to what they say the reason is if/when they resurfaced. Maybe they’re clueless too.

Essie Level 6 Dec 4, 2018
0

I love the voting choices. Hilarious! Three days sounds okay. If it seemed like there was an encouraging spark, but then no contact after three days, I might feel a twinge of mild disappointment, but no harm done. So many times I have crossed my own threshold after a date thinking "I hope he loses my number..."

Deb57 Level 8 Dec 4, 2018
1

3 days was the old normal.. 6 days of he has a good excuse as to why .

1

People do get distracted but a date should be concluded with some mutual time for next date....if neither asked for a next time it's not a man or woman science question. ...if the good date was Friday then s/he must call by Thorsday ....nobody should be left hanging without a plan next weekend

1

It happens for both sides.
By default I think always that the other person considered the first date a ONS until the second date happens.

3

I voted for 24 hours. If they aren’t excited, than it isn’t a match.
Shyness/anxiety could forgive a few days. But a week? Then I’m a fallback.
Compatibility is fickle.

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