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What's your go-to soul soother after a particularly harrowing day?

Mine was a particularly harrowing day. I'm a nurse in a urologic cancer clinic, and my every work day is a fast moving emotional rollercoaster. I'm not complaining, I love my job. I choose this. But as I was wrapping up the day feeling especially depleted, I took a look back at the 23 patients we worked with throughout the day. This is what I found. We shared one of the worst days in 3 peoples lives who received a new diagnosis of cancer. We gave the good news of negative work ups to 4 people. We arranged biopsies for 6 people who are waiting to find out if they have cancer. We placed one of my favorite patients on hospice. We high-fived and praised god with 5 patients after procedures demonstrating continued remission. We scheduled 4 patients for surgeries to treat cancers that have come back. I bounce between being the navigator, the cheerleader, the shoulder, the educator. Compartmentalize. Shift. Repeat. So after a day full of highs, lows, and a few holy fucks, my go to soul soother is the music of Nina Simone. A couple of hours with her greatest hits is a rollercoaster of angst, snarky bitterness, expressive of raw emotion... powerful enough to shake loose the knots in my mind and let my emotions take the leap from my rollercoaster to hers, throwing up that great wall of detachment between them.
One hour in, and I'm feeling good...

Amzungu2 7 Dec 7

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17 comments

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1

the grateful dead's first live-dead album (red cover, double album, starts with dark star).

the love of my five cats, one dog and irritating but loving man.

g

2

Metallica- and Justice For All. That album pulls me right out of shit storm mood.

You should also give Megadeth - Countdown to Extinction a chance. Metal for life!

@Darius77 Heh that album was apart of my early 90's. 😀

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Thank you for your amazing compassion. It's stronger than any religious person I know.

My soother is the song Mykonos, by The Fleet Foxes. It tends to make me cry, his voice is so beautiful and forlorn, but it's a good cry, the necessary kind. It takes me out of my headspace and to the shores of some long-forgotten island, nary a care in the world. I hope this can help you at some point in the future. Thanks again.

The therapeutic power of music has long intrigued me.

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I ride my motorcycle. If the weather is too bad to ride then I putter around with it, tweaking the little things that need it or just cleaning and polishing it. Before I retired I used to commute with it. By the time I finished the 45-60 minute commute into DC I was ready to battle lions. If the lions had the better day, by the time I got home the trials and tribulations of the day were gone.

0

In no particular order.... pot, alcohol, silence, LSD, nothing... it's all good.

2

NP doing hospital admissions here. Mostly I try to take care of myself with exercise, time with friends, alone time to inoculate myself in advance. But when the job outpaces me, there's always wine.

Haha, yes, there are days I go straight for the wine.

3

I’m an RN in open heart. After a long day.. or night. I have to hit the gym before I can play a game online for a bit to relax. My 12 year old son is an amazing love bug, depending on what time I get home. His hugs will fix me right up.

1

Listen to some tunes or sports talk radio on the way home from my last job of the day, then dinner and a movie or some light reading until I'm ready to hit the hay.

2

Social Worker here. I wish I didn’t know the ugliness people are capable of. After a rough day, I listen to either classical or dance music on the commute, depends on my variation of troubles. I’ll do some yoga ro relieve tension and meditate afterwards maybe. A long hike in the woods does me wonders as well, but has to wait until the weekend. When feeling totally disappointed in humanity, I watch mind numbing old tv shows like The Waltons.

2

I salute you and all your fellow caregivers! I definitely would not have been cut out to be in your profession. A large gin and tonic and some soothing music.....probably Elgar’s Enigma variations or Holst’s Planet suite would be my best calming remedy.....here’s a hug from me anyway...?

1
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Wow! Nurses are so underrated! I don't think I could've found the strength in me to deal with what you're going through on a daily basis. Thank you for your service!

I'm also going with music, but I have to let the stuffed anger and frustration leave my body. I play heavy metal music and headbang to it at the same time.

3

Bach's cello suites 1-6 n D minor.

2

Bicycle and pedaling it out in nature.

2

Recently had a very bad experience with cancer as my longtime partnrt,Sonia, passed after a very short time between diagnosis and her death?.This whole episode left me not only saddened as well as depressed,it has caused an ongoing anger with the medical field as a whole.It seems to me that with all the testing she underwent throughout the last year,( she had other medical issues),And the numerous scans she underwent that someone should have spotted this before it was far too late?.I feel that her children,grandchildren and myself have been robbed of her presence by people who only seemed to care about how much money could be wrung from her illnesses,and not enough time was spent being vigilant against the possibility of this tragedy?.

I'm very sorry for your loss and the experience you've had. I obviously cannot speak to what you have been through, but I am absolutely confident that money grubbing is not the motivator for care in our practice. In fact, the surgeon I work with recently approved investing in a fabulous new technology that will be a great benefit for our patients and requires his time and skill to perform. But while doing cost analysis it became clear he will be doing it all for free, as insurance hasn't quite caught up to the technology. His response was that he wants it available to his patients and is okay not being able to bill for it and simply provide the service for free. I realize there is a large spectrum of quality of care. There certainly have been some seriously questionable situations that have landed on our door, and I'm sorry you don't feel as if your wife's case was handled properly. I truly empathize.

@Amzungu2 maybe not yours,but as a whole it seems like money is the motivating factor in medical care these days?

1

I admire you for being a remarkable human being, but there is no such things as a soul. Try reading, a lot. It helps me tremendously.

It was a figurative expression, not a literal one, but thank you, and yes, reading is also a great escape I've used since childhood.

1

I really admire the work you do, your obvious compassion, dedication, energy. I'm delighted you've found some coping help in music. ?

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