I recently had cancer and have made it through treatment and had a clean CT scan. What kills me is the belief that it was gods will that I'm cancer free now. And that their prayers were answered. I just want to scream, but I am still not that open about my beliefs. What would you say to friends and family?
My sister is in remission from Stage 4 breast cancer that metastasized in her bones. She is Christian but did not rely on her faith to help her. When she posts good reports on Facebook, her friends and other relative post, "Thank god." Then, comes my post: "Thank you, medical science."
I am open about what I don't believe, but if I were in your spot, I would probably say, "I put my faith in science and that is what made me cancer free." They will say that god lead the doctors, but ignore them at that point.
Even when I was a Xian, just one of the things that baffled me was when the church prayer was going on and the pastor would be asking "god" to heal the members that were in the hospital. So, essentially that was asking an omni being to stop what it caused to transpire.
Great news, I have a friend who had a liver transplant, she gets mega annoyed, and she is vocal. "So you prayed someone would die so I could have a new liver?" She gets pissed with other transplant recipients who thank god rather than the doctors and donors families.
Thank goodness you’re ok now. I’m sure you went through a lot. I would tell them thank you for their prayers and that you are also very thankful for modern medicine. I think it’s nice if someone thinks of me in their prayers, even though I don’t believe in it.
Ok during Cancer Treatment I had people say "I'll pray for you". And I was ok with that? That's how THEY could handle it.
However no one said to me that remission was god's will. I'd probably have had a fit.
Two surgeries - six weeks of radiation and it's "god's will?". Post radiation chemo medication? Yup thank goodness my family and friends know better.
Wow! Excellent you're cancer free!
Lost my mom to cancer 22 years ago.
Was raised Catholic and everyone was worried that losing her was what made me the Non-believer I am today.
"What would I say to friends and Family?" in your case?
Honestly, I'd just nod, not in agreement, but more for understanding that's how they feel.
The whole, "god gave you cancer to test you!"
Well, how or why did god test those with cancer, who were good, prayed, to be healed and passed away? Wait, "mysterious ways."
This is what Richard Dawkins would call, "The god-of-the-gaps"
Just because we don't know, doesn't mean god is the answer.
We aren't children anymore, we are rational adults and it's perfectly fine to admit "not to know why somethings happen"
Because science doesn't know where we came from, how the universe started, etc, remember one thing; Many mysteries have been solved with science where religion was proven wrong — over time.
I went through the same thing, only to be told god works in mysterious ways (among others). I have to take each person as an individual, my elderly mother only meant well for example. I have found many others just don't know what to say or have never evaluated their position on their beliefs, I look at some as an opportunity and others as a lost cause. Stay strong and Congrats on the clean CT.
I would ask them in a by the way manner, if that's the same god that let you get the cancer. See how they react. Its such a simple concept. They will probably then fall back on it was god testing you. If you want to continue the discussion you can ask why god let all the other people die before this science found a way for you to beat it.
Then thank them again for all their good wishes which helped you tremendously through a difficult time. Congrats on your recovery--it's amazing what science can do these days.
Congratulations on getting well and getting through the treatments!!!!!! It is hard 'coming out' but you will do it and with whom you when you are ready. I was raised in a very ethnic, Catholic family. I found myself speaking freely with individuals that seemed like they wouldn't go verbally ballistic . I now belong to an atheist centered book club. I am always excited and energized after spending time with them and more willing to share my position. Currently, when some makes a comment of how great god is I am able to casually say that "I acknowledge what you are saying' but I am an atheist. USUALLY the conversation stays calm
Wonderful news on your recovery. Congratulations!
Essentially they believe the Abrahamic god values their prayers more than the prayers of others who have lost loved ones to cancer. I'm sure they felt a sense of helplessness and turned to prayer as a coping mechanism. They were well-meaning, although they lacked much awareness of their insensitivity.
If it were me, I'd blow them off. If you try to say that it was due to the advances in medicine, technology, and the skilled doctors, nurses, and techs, they will likely say that god was responsible for all that. Try not to let it bother you.
Welcome to the community.
"If it was the prayers, why was taking all that shitty treatment? Cancer treatment is pretty brutal you know. I do notice that cancer patients tend to do as well, on average, regardless who is praying for them. I also notice that prayer without treatment often spells a rapid death. What am I to make of all that?
How disgusting! Yeah God loved me more than some dying child. I feel sorry for you. You might have died,this would be my sign to not live some weird lie no matter what.I am 4th generation godless and your story makes me so glad that I don't have to deal with zealots. So someone prayed away the disease rigjt? Congratulations on batting cancer. Do not fall prey to some weird prayer guilt.
Congratulations on beating cancer! That's great! I would just thank the people who say things like that. Their hearts are in the right place and who cares if they have different beliefs. You have more important things to concentrate on. Like living! : )
I'd tell them the truth. Their god had nothing to do with my (your) recovery. It was science, doctors, treatment, medication, and their prayers had no impact whatsoever. That said, I am very open about my non-belief. I'm not going to deny the truth to make anyone feel better. Hopefully, they'll all just be glad you've recovered, and keep their bs to themselves.
Congratulations on your recovery.