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How did I get put in the friend zone ?

So this is out of my range of expertise, and what better place to ask for relationship advice than from a group of singles . Here's the story, I met this girl back in mid December we had great conversation , non-judgemental a good mother to her children and possibly to mine and I find her attractive. Pretty much checked all the boxes I'm looking for. We went out the next night after meeting on a date and had great sex, and we continued dating till Valentine's day. The problem is she isn't ready for a relationship and that's what I want from her. Normally I'd just leave it in the past but this chick is very adamant in the fact we remain friends . And it's really messing with me because I've been placed in the friend zone even though I still like her. I have tried to get past her with casual sex. I think the real reason I keep talking to her is because I think I can get out of the friend zone. Help me out guys/girls . What should I do?

Buckner 4 Feb 28
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39 comments (26 - 39)

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0

'Not being ready for a relationship' is the best 'escape route' known to man (or woman). I"ve used it myself. The truth could be something closer to it just wasn't clicking for her for some unknown reason. That's a much harder explanation to make because its personal. Carry on.

0

In the words o f my favorite modern philosopher, Roseann Roseanna Danna, "it,s always something" really though you would be wise to walk away from the situation ....good luck

0

There is no escaping 'THE FRIEND ZONE!'.

0

Back off! Date someone else, and if she changes her mind, she'll let you know.

To me, the ONLY fun of a new relationship if the courting stage..dating, hikes, movies, walks under the stars, snuggling to watch movies while you give each other foot rubs, etc. Once the man starts demanding more, I'm already edging toward the exit.

No, I don't want to have sex with you. Ew.
Who knows what you've done with whom, and what STDs you secretly carry.

And I don't want to commit to you either. Ew.
Who knows how control freak you might become, demanding to know where I am every minute and trying to push my friends away.

If men could be cool about it, though, I might hang with them long enough to develop feelings for them, as long as they continue being playful, fun, upbeat, and don't act NEEDY.

0

Friend zone is quicksand,
she likes you, but is looking for more.
You like her more than she likes you.

5

Don't push it with her, like she said, she ain't ready. Just remain friends with her and see how it pans out.

0

Leave. Nothing like a wake up call.

0

If your a friend its over. if someone really wants to do something. they do. she may well like you but that's all but that's just my opinion. she wanted some sex and you want something else so really what would you expect? it's not like you can untell her you want more and why would you?

2

I have known guys that have complained of this. Sometimes it is really true that a person does not want a romantic relationship in their life yet. When someone does not want a relationship people can remain, friends if both agree. It seems that you don't agree. There is nothing you can do unless she decides differently, except to move on to pursue someone interested in a relationship.

1

Personally I find casual sex with no intention of commitment to be something I can't abide. Sex produces hormones that promote pair-bonding. Particularly if your objective is to find a life partner, you're just torturing yourself to feel bonded and yet held at arm's length.

In my experience people send enough mixed messages without adding this one to the list. I don't have sex with someone I'm not at least open to pair-bonding with in some substantive fashion. I don't respect people who DO have sex with someone, with no intention to explore that. It's disingenuous.

I realize there are people who think there's such a thing as purely recreational sex but I'm not one of them. So apologies in advance to people who don't feel guilt about casual sex. I'm not saying you should. I'm just saying it's not for me and I don't like that sort of ambiguity in my chosen relationships.

2

My wife is my best friend, no matter what. We've been together over thirty years. Good friends are valuable.

She might make a good friend, but only you can decide. Sexually, she seems to be moving on. You should too, rather than be depressed over her.

3

go away and if she decides to change her mind and lets you know decide if you want to start over

2

If it eats at you, you're gonna have to bail, because it ain't gonna fix itself and you will become increasingly irritated. If you can, date someone else. Sometimes a person wants something more if they think it's slipping away. And if that doesn't happen, hey, at least you're dating! YMMV, I'm not exactly an expert.

12

Once in the friend zone, it's rare to exit. Might as well accept it.
Then, if she does change her mind, you'll be pleasantly surprised.
If you push, you're never going to get out of it.

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