I hope you are kidding. Earbuds at a funeral? Napping? How about you dress nice, sit quietly and think of England? It's a funeral. It isn't about you. Yet.

You gotta love a good funeral

Hey!!! too bad I can't go with you, we could have been on the hunt for a date at this funeral, you never know where you can meet someone, keep your eyes peeled!!

Remember, funerals are for the living, not the dead.

I recently lost a friend who did not want a service, wanted to be cremated & have his ashes scattered. He passed unexpectedly before being able to make his wishes officially known. Instead of what he wanted, his very religious mother took over & it was a religious service, all the trappings, & burial/grave side service.

His friends were not happy to see his wishes ignored but some understood his elderly, sickly, & very religious mother needed the trappings of her religion to cope with the lose of her child. So there we all sat, uncomfortable, in this religious service for a man who was an affirmed atheist.

Its ritual & trappings that people seem to need to move forward with grief.

Ugh. Funerals. Funerals are for the living. And to make it worse, it's a fucking kibuki show... oh, poor Festus! He was so wonderful (except that he was a kid-touching racist bigot and we all hated him when he had a pulse and a mean-on!), at least he's with god now (how the fuck does THAT happen? He should be getting diddled in hell by a thorny, flaming dick-monster!), and, oh boo-hoo! See how sad I am? I wonder why so few people showed up? I guess some people just don't have any respect for the dearly departed.

Please... ugh

Ive been to a lot of funerals, I feel like the preacher/pastor/priest or whatever the hell they call themselves feel like its their job to also recruit more followers..I can totally recite their BS word for word almost, Ive been to so many. The least painful ones are the catholic ones, as they go by the book, NO eulogy is allowed, they don't allow a thing in the "sanctuary" but the body or the urn, (only an urn if the priest is ok with it, I have had to leave an urn in the car one time when the priest refused to allow the fucking urn inside). So no "picture boards" etc. The horrible singing of the old people is painful, yes, so DO wear your airpods. avoid the holy water station, that water has been sitting there for HOW long????? ugh. Besides, I hear it will burn you LOL . If you bring flowers, make sure they are in a vase so they can be displayed, don't show up with a bouquet of flowere sans vase. (tacky) Be sure to drink a lot of wine/vodka or whatever your poison is, you will thank me later. Eat all the egg salad sandwiches, (bring a sandwich bag to steal extra, the egg salad is the most popular, next to the chicken salad, and if its on a croissant,... Goldmine) I wish I could be there to guide you thru the the landmine of the funeral but perhaps next time!!

Good luck! Safe travels!

I confess my attitude is that a funeral is for respect to the dead anx family. Yes, listen to discreet music but it's not about you. Listen to the hypocrisy and smile gently

Weddings and funerals are the only two reasons I step into a church, I'd go with the discrete earbuds if I were you.

I sometime look at the obit section of the paper. I am looking for how many have gon to heaven (cross on their obit) and how many are patriots (flag). Last Sunday, out of 4 pages only 2 are going to heaven 1 is a patriot and 1 has both.

Sorry you have to go to Dallas. What kind of relationship did you have with this relative?

The only funeral one has to attend is their own, if there is one at all. Even then it's by proxy.

I am sorry for your loss.
Try to have fun with the fam. Be sure to eat too much.

Just out of curiosity, why are you even going? A close relation make sense, but a distant realtion? I am assuming it is out of guilt/obligation? Would be easier/more cost effective/make for a more enjoyable weekend to just send flowers.