Are women aware of being played by a charming, subtle flirt?
I've known dudes whose entire personality changes as soon as a woman enters the room. It's so fake...
1
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.And yet interestingly, as much as I can be a flirt (harmless and overt - hey, I'm 63, okay?), my beautiful wife points out time and again when a woman has flirted with me, yet I don't see it. I naively think they're just being cordial.
It's disappointing when you find out that a good friend's wife has a thing for you. It's like - "Aw, shit. Why complicate things?" I guess all this proves we need a trustworthy partner, and a tight, close knit tribe we can count on as friends who have our backs. I cherish that very much.
Hominid
Level 7
Mar 27, 2019
0
I do not even know when I am being flirted with. 
Except with old men or teenagers because both have no shame and are overt as fck about it. So if a guy is just being nice to me I assume he is just a well-mannered man. Though exes in the past thought I was naive. Jokes on them I just lack certain beliefs about myself. haahaa 
demifeministgal
Level 8
Mar 26, 2019
1
We're aware and know not to take obvious flirts seriously, but it's the subtle flirts who slip under the radar sometimes. Those can fool us if subtle enough.
Would be nice if the flirtatious dude's friend could tip a gal off if he sees her being taken in by someone with dubious intentions. I suppose that would not bode well for their friendship though.
Julie808
Level 8
Mar 26, 2019
0
True, but he's a shallow friend at best who has stung me a couple times...
Your suspicion is correct, most men will not cross a male friend to tip off a stranger about their own friend's behavior. Of course it goes both ways. How many women would tip off a male stranger about the dishonest behavior of their female friend? The continued friendship always matters more to most people, at least until the dishonest person burns them enough times. Personally, I don't maintain friendships with people that have that kind of character.
Because of this dynamic, we are on our own when we date a stranger that has no mutual friends with us so we need to beware of their intentions for ourselves. That is why some people will not date someone that does not share any mutual friends that can be a reference.
@TomMcGiverin Wise words. Dudes like that are not anywhere close to being a friend - the person I'm referring to is nothing more than a casual aquaintence I see maybe 2 or 3 times a year. Yet he never disappoints me with his Jekyll & Hyde behavior.
@Hominid Yup, he's an ass... I just wish women could spot guys like that as easy as guys like you and me can, but then again they don't see him without the mask or act on....
In my experience, most men can hold it together for about three weeks. Then their bad behavior comes out, the same bad behavior that killed their past relationships. Flush.
LiterateHiker
Level 9
Mar 26, 2019
2
Everybody plays the fool, sometime
There's no exception to the rule
Listen, baby, it may be factual, may be cruel
I ain't lying, everybody plays the fool.
Falling in love is such an easy thing to do
And there's no guarantee that the one you love
Is gonna love you
Merseyman1
Level 9
Mar 25, 2019
2
You're absolutely right and the worst ones in my book are the guys who use lots of totally phony, calculated humor around women that consists of very corny, self-deprecating humor so they look as non-threatening as possible to women. Some women just eat this up even tho other guys can spot this in a minute and later after the guy has got the woman hooked then he will start letting out some of his real mean-spirited and sarcastic humor. I first saw this demonstrated by guys in support groups long ago and then recently in a group for widowed people.
TomMcGiverin
Level 8
Mar 25, 2019
0
Fascinating. I see the exact pattern... this dude can be quite cutting and mean to his (sometimes off sometimes on) girlfriend. Another "tool of the trade" this one guy does is use his sharp wit to wow the crowd. And don't get me wrong - he's someone worth listening to, with amazing stories and anecdotes. He just really pours it on in mixed company.
Depends on the woman. Why anyone would want to be a manipulative player is the real question.
UUNJ
Level 8
Mar 25, 2019
5
My guess is that they only want him until they see his true self or wake up to knowing they are being played.
Women are wowed by this one guy also because he's prominent in the community, running a successful business. So there's the attraction to power thing happening as well...
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