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Have you ever had someone meet you just to try to convert you? This happened to me twice through online dating. As soon as I realized they would not change the subject, I ended the conversation. “Thank you for lunch. We do not make a good match. I’m leaving now.”

“Martin Luther said there are no atheists,” one man said triumphantly, as if that settled the question. “I don’t care what a Catholic monk said 500 years ago,” I replied and laughed.

The last man I briefly dated was a medical doctor and a born-again Christian. We agreed not to talk about religion. After three dates, Bill sent me a list of his beliefs. He is the anthesis of me. Horrified, I dumped him immediately.

"The good news is you and your ilk are dinosaurs," I replied to Bill. "My daughter's generation is the largest born since the baby boomers. Millennials are the most progressive, non-religious, pro-diversity generation who also care about protecting our planet."

"Get yourself a conservative, redneck, god-fearing (whatever that means), gun lovin' farm girl. Not me."

His Jewish parents were Auschwitz survivors and immigrants to America. It is cruel that Bill wants to deport and block all refugees and immigrants.

"I believe healthcare should be available to everyone who can afford it; it is not a right," he wrote. His attitude is basically, "I got mine; screw everybody else" and "screw the planet." He believes Trump "was sent by God to save America."

Your thoughts?

LiterateHiker 9 Mar 3

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22 comments

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7

Girl you have got to screen better

I always have telephone conversations before meeting. It's not my fault he hid his extreme right-wing, judgmental, religious beliefs from me. I believe Bill held off from telling me because he knew I would reject him. I was shocked and horrified.

My rejection letter:

Your list of beliefs horrified me. Where is your empathy and compassion for other people?

In our America:

All people are equal.
Black lives matter.
Immigrants and refugees are welcome.
Disabilities are respected.
Women are in charge of their bodies.
People and the planet are valued over profits.
Diversity is celebrated.
Education is a right.
Health care is a right.

Trump is an ignorant loudmouth, a narcissist, bully, racist, sexist, rapist,
manipulator, divider, thief, bully, usurper, collaborator, and traitor.

Keep your rosaries OFF my ovaries! I don't want to see you again.

Kathleen

6

That's a real run of bad luck! Perhaps your search will be more fruitful here. By the way, have you accepted Jesus as your personal lord and savior? Kidding, kidding! Let he who is without humor cast the first stone. 😉 Good luck to you in your dating adventures!

Resserts, These were not continuous dates. I met two men who tried to convert during the last five years. The right-wing Christian,Trump-loving medical doctor/pilot was the last man I dated. I dumped Bill last month.

4

I would have deleted him the moment he admitted he was a Christian/Trump follower. I have no wish to debate, or date, anyone alt-right.

3

Bill sounds like a nightmare. Also I'd like to thank you for sticking up for millennials. We take a lot of undeserved flak, when we're just trying to undo the damage others created.

You're welcome, Nicki. Since she was 18, I have been activating my daughter and her friends to vote. If we all vote in the 2018 midterm election (and forward), we can turn Congress and the Senate BLUE. Vote Republicans out of office!

On March 24, I will join the national "March for Our Lives and Gun Reform," spearheaded by high school students who survived the mass shooting in Parkland, Florida.

3

Had a minister try to convert me on my job almost a decade ago now, on Good Friday. it tried a few times to steer the convo away from it but he wouldn't let it go. I finally said "have a happy Jesus on a stick day" but I've really gotta get back to work.

Reminds me of a minister that once worked at the college. He would occasionally walk past my area on campus. I would say hello preacher man. He did not like this and asked me to call him "father" I told him no "Preacher man" is a better title. The following year during a "Christening for a helicopter I had him as a captive audience as the flight was significantly late he again asked me about the title "Father" and this opened the can of worms so I could discuss the (lack of) honesty of religion depended on faith. . etc. . . he was nearly in tears when he admitted he, as a propagator of less then truth was doing more harm then good to society. When he asked me "Well what can I do?" I referred him to "The Clergy Project" I really felt sorry for him. Months later he was still preaching but the next year he disappeared from campus and I have not encountered him again.

2

The first thing I look at is religion. Christian or even Buddhist or some other religious belief is a big no. Jewish is a conundrum because there are a lot of secular Jews. Also, when someone says other it tells me there has been no thought of religion and the person probably lacks critical thinking skills, which is a warnings sign to me.

I paid for my niece and her family to visit (they live in San Antonio). I know they are Jehova's Witnesses but they said they would not proselytize and they mostly did not. But one night my Niece explained their belief to me. In return I explained mine to her and they accepted this. The temptation to push their beliefs is simply too much for them and anyone with even an inkling of religious beliefs will do the same.

Please set your boundaries, what you will accept and what you won't and stick to them. Reason has to take precedence over emotion. Dating issues have been discussed over and over on this site. I think everyone agrees being single is better then being in a relationship that is challenged.

2

Awhile back, in a moment of weakness, I began a journey of trying to reconnect with a past girlfriend. It was one of those things you know it probably isn't going to end well but you do it anyway. This went on for a few years. Then the POTUS primaries and General Election came. She had never been political before, and despite her short comings, seemed compassionate to those less fortunate. Then boom, her Christian friends got her involved in politics and religion, and she was a Trump supporter. It was so confusing and offsetting to me, but it cured me of my desire to bring back the past.

2

Oh, yeah. It seems that men look at my pictures but rarely read what I write or check out my "religious" status. My profile says, "If you voted for Trump, do not contact me." Some have read that and contact me to tell me how evil I am. Snort.

"If you are a Trump supporter, hit the back button NOW" I added to the top of my profile. You're right, Gwendolyn. Many men look my pictures and contact me without reading my profile.

I was amused by a rural, high school dropout, who was a Trump-loving troglodyte. "U HIT BACK BUTTON!!!" DONT GO NEAR MY PROFILE!!!!" As if I could give him cooties through the computer. Furious, he sent me incoherent blasts of Republican lies. ALL CAPS. Block and ignore.

@LiterateHiker One guy sent me a nasty, nasty email telling me that I was everything wrong with the country. I didn't block him and several months later, he contacted me again to tell me that voting for Trumpass was the worst thing he had ever done. I told him that I blamed him for the state of the country. He replied, asking me how I was, blah, blah. Did he really think that after blasting me and voting for HIM that admitting he was wrong would make me want to date him? Um, no.

2

You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find that one that transforms to your "one & only"! Statistics say 80 encounters, whether on or off line.

2

If I met the female version of any of these people, except maybe the martin luther thing, I would be out. And to have anybody think about the trumpling in a positive way, would, and does, blow my mind. He has no redeeming value as a human being. The martin luther thing would probably follow up with more inanities, and then I would be out...haha

2

Only a scientologist while I was waiting for a bar to open. She was standing on the corner downtown, and I will talk to anybody standing on any corner in any town. Cuz that's how I roll. She proceeded to try to agree with me on everything I said and get me to come in for a personality test. She didn't need to lie, I would have taken the test for shiggles anyways. I took the test, they told me I was 'too aggressive' and they could fix it. I was like, I do security for bands, so aggressiveness is good for my chosen profession. They were like, "No, you need to be even like this chart our computer has generated." I was like, "So you think everybody should be flatlined? Pretty nihilistic of you, I can appreciate that." They brought in more scientologist mucks to say the same thing over and over again, til I saw that it was time for the bar (The Bone in Portland Oregon...doesn't exist anymore, or I don't think it does, I think it is some crazy strip club) to open, so I thanked them for the entertainment, and left. The end.

2

Barf! Glad you got rid of them.

2

Jeebus.
I've had people go out with me for the sole purpose of converting me, but that hasn't happened since junior college. And it wasn't nearly as heroin the story is yours sounds like

2

Bill - I think it might be men named 'Bill"? Sorry Bill 😉

Gees that's awful. Do you really feel like you could have a relationship with someone who was that religious? I know my days of tolerating anything like this are long gone.
"Don't talk to me about religion" so he sends you a letter. Egads!

Also with parents who had been in Auschwicz - I don't know how he became a Born Again Christian? And so intolerant.

I feel for you.

And no this has never happened to me.

1

The funniest thing is he wanted me to be submissive and obey his orders in bed. I was aghast. If he's Mr. Superchristian, what's he doing "fornicating" with me? His bible is clear that sex outside of marriage is forbidden. Of course he was trying to get me into a submissive role. After all, the bible says in Ephesians, "wives submit yourself unto your husbands." Good luck with that.

"Anal sex is the ultimate in submission," he said. "You FIRST," I said firmly. "YOU go get f-cked up the ass by a well-hung man, and tell me how you liked it." That was another reason I dumped him. We were sexually incompatible.

...creepy and gross |:

Not gross! Kinky!

Intimacy is a two-way street, melting and melding, writhing in erotic, delicious ecstasy; heated communication at its finest.

4338, Love your comment. You could write soft porn novels.

1

Pretty near every girl/woman I ever dated.

1

Definitely. I changed my religion to agnostic and that fixed it. I don't know what it is about the word atheist that gets those people's juices flowing.

Hi Stephanie, I changed my (lack of) religion from agnostic to atheist years ago. It seems "agnostic" gave Christians a foothold to try to convert me. I prefer the definite, hard-edged atheist label. "Agnostic" implies I'm unsure whether there is a god.

I agree with your thoughts, but it hasn't been my experience.

1

I had an odd one night stand (ok we went for two coz the sex was great) with a Nigerian woman I met online. She lived quite a way from me so we were never going to be steady but we dug what each other said online so off I go. She was a collector of sorts, loved sex in all it`s weird and wonderful guises and could tell me of adventures that would make a sailor blush. Turned out that she was a very committed Christian, The rampant sex not withstanding. In the intervening hours of non-coitus, discussed theology. Very odd indeed.

1

Holy crap that guys a total winner =( that whole "I've got mine" mentality is too common, and infuriating. The whole..Trump stuff..That's just a special breed of dafuq. Sorry you even had to endure that limited time. But good on you for putting him in his place!

Thank you, Ersomething.

1

Oh yes don't know why people think that this is something that can be changed. Dated one woman that said I'm me you're you so if we hit it off fine if not hope we have both found a friend. After a month she came clean about her religious beliefs and I respectfully said they would never be mine. For the next month she persisted and one day I just never called or went back to see her.

1

That sounds just awful.

JeffB Level 6 Mar 4, 2018
0

I love it when people try to convert me as they always leave, angry, confused or openly questioning their faith. In some cases, I have managed to release some from the tethers of religion.

I have no tolerance for superstitious people who consider faith (the foundation of all religion (belief without evidence)) to be a credible avenue to determine truth. As I value truth and honesty, and asserting faith as a gateway to truth is not honest, any religious predisposition is a disqualifying attribut in any potential relationships. I have learned not to waste my time beating around the bush of: are you rational or superstitious? and addressing this issue from the get go as life is to short to wast time trying to open they eyes of reason of a person who wishes to remain in the darkness.

Although I really wish your "The good news is you and your ilk are dinosaurs. . . ," yes, you supported this assertion, However these dinosaurs are sadly still very much alive and doing much destruction to the world.

By promoting educational/socio-economical disparity betweens the classes and moving the masses into an ever increasing state of less educated and more medically and economically vulnerable status, I believe the planned outcome of many theists (or those figureheads "guiding" theists is to marginalize the masses forcing them to be desperate and "come to god/church" for help giving more power to the churches as churches do best in societies marginalized by poverty, lack of higher education/opportunities.

In short, the more safety nets you dismantle, the more desperate the masses and the stronger religions can flourish in the ashes dis-pare. An interesting study on this topic is the rise of the crisis cults. By denying our destroying of our environment, climate deniers (mostly theists) are actively advancing the policy that is leading us down the road to ruin.

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