Why? I don't understand this. There are SO MANY worthwhile people in this world- in what universe does it make sense to waste your energy on someone who tortured you?

@Qualia There were a lot of things about his life none of us knew when we were in school together. He was an underloved kid whose hardscrabble existence informed his response to people around him.

I'm not letting him off the hook.

It should be noted that he was goaded on by a girl with low self esteem who thought she could get more social capital by claiming I was leering at her breasts and the best friend he looked up to whose own life was far more comfortable than his own. There were teachers at my school who saw them pin me against the walls in the hallway and shut their classroom doors. When a senior rescued me from them and took me to the office, the guidance counselor and the principal told me I should have been grateful for the male attention, that I probably really wanted it, and my hurt feelings didn't warrant ruining lives, I figured out what was rotten about this went beyond the kid who put his hands on me.

He was twisted and broken by life long before he actually died. Because he had achieved some fame, everyone was his best friend and remembered him fondly. It doesn't help or hurt him and it makes them feel better about themselves. I have nothing to gain by breaking that delusion. I never sought out anyone I knew from that time other than a couple of friends, anyway.

As for someone being worth the energy or not, I should say that "bothers" might be overstating it. I've worked as a counselor and social worker for almost thirty years. Trying to get people to see the worth in their own lives is something I do daily. Some of those lives are far more messed up than the guy who attacked me.

Here's the thing, Qualia: Forthe most part, I have been protected and loved. My father made sure I knew I was cared for, that I was smart, and that whoever I decided to be was someone he loved very much. Not everyone has that in their lives. Knowing that has always informed MY response to the world.

What does that have to do with being nice though. I'm sweet as pie to mine but Gawd help you if you F*** with my kid or pets.