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Do you feel as lonely as I do?

Sometimes I wish I would not have a curious and skeptical mind as I do, because it makes me feel quite isolated. My friends all gather once a week and feel connected to a greater purpose, have communities they can rely on, and have fun watching and sharing ghost stories. I have a family who feel cheer when life gets hard by praying, reminding me that God makes my life great and those without god are immoral heathens (They don't know I don't believe). At least my siblings are atheists too. Dating profiles online in my area all say " Religious, and it's important to me." I feel like I'm gonna die alone.

Adrielbass 4 Mar 4
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44 comments (26 - 44)

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1

How can you feel lonely on agnostic.com? 😛

Seriously though, thanks for sharing your story. We all may have different experiences and different circumstances (which keep some in the closet), but you won't be judged here. It's a mad world, I know, but you're not alone.

Marz Level 7 Mar 5, 2018
1

I feel this way at times too. I grew up in a Catholic home, with Catholic family, and when I finally started asking questions and realized there was no god, all I wanted to do was share my thoughts with my friends and family, but they told me not to think like that because I will go to hell. I've always been a good person at heart, and I realized I didn't need religion to be a good person. I always get excited when I meet other non-believers, because it means I'm not alone. But that rarely happens, I'm always surrounded by people who are religious and who give their life to god. I say I'll handle my own life thanks I don't really trust anyone else with it

1

You just described basically how I feel. It's a more introspective look at life and I think a lot of society doesn't feel comfortable looking that deep. At least in the group of friends I've got, whereas my family is also super Christian ... Which sucks for them bc so far 2 of their three kids are queer but that to me is just irony. It gives you a "black sheep" mentality in a way.

1

Loneliness happens even when you are with someone. Most days I am by myself for the majority of it, cut off from contact with my partners except for a lone text message here or there. I know what you mean by that lack of community though, it is a very isolating feeling, knowing everyone around you shares this belief that unites them.

Be yourself and be honest. Life is hard, it is achingly lonely at times, but the challenges pave the way for better days later on. You won't always be alone, despite how it feels right now. This community exists and we are here for you.

1

Lonely, scared and broken. But I'm working on it hard and with help.

1

I am very close to a hermit, so I probably don't feel as alone as you. I think all humans have that feeling in one degree or another. I hope you fill your need.

1

Well crazycurls pretty much summed it up. The 20's are rough! The desire to have a mate rides some people really hard. The lonliest I ever felt was when I was married! Once that whole mess was over and I put myself first and just started living my life and finding things that have me joy, I've not felt lonely in years. I think getting rid of expectations and taking life day by day is the best thing I can tell you. Simple. But it works.

1

I guess a lot of it is location. I live in a community evenly divided between Democrats and Republicans according to the town's web page. As a musician I can't afford to piss off half the audience. My brother, our lead guitarist, and I think pretty much the same about politics and religion. Our base player not at all, so we seldom get into discussions about those subjects especially religion. I am OK with it. My closest friends are non-believers. It wasn't something I knew before hand, but it did strengthen our bond. I have moved a lot and always seem to find those folks. I do work in bars where the heathens hang out so that my be part of it. What I'm trying to say is there are more of us than you think. You do have to get out of the house to meet them. Did not mean to get that wordy. Sorry about that.

Your awesome, don't worry about the word count 🙂

I'm a musician myself 🙂

@Adrielbass I take it you're a bass player. Hard to find good bass players. Hell its hard to find bass players. Drummers are the heartbeat of a band and bass players are the soul. As long as you have music in your heart you will never be completely alone. How sappy is that?

1

Maybe you'll meet someone here, or just keep emphazing your nonbelief in your online dating profiles.
Meanwhile, CBD oil is said to raise the mood and keep people feeling happy, and since it has no THC, it's legal most places.

0

Yes. I feel the same way and have the same problem you do. Almost everyone where I live are christian. I'm convinced if I don't move to another city, I'll likely be lonely for the rest of my life.

0

Maybe you should post and be very upfront about being Agnostic if you haven't already. I think some people say they are religious because they want to conform to societies. I call bullshit.

0

There are times I am the most lonliest man in the world. I'm an introvert and do not need groups or friends around close all the time. I feel at times as though I have no real friends but I cannot let it get to me. The difference between us is that I am 71 now and I have been in LTR's 4 times in my life. At 27 you have a long way to go and lots of time yet to find someone. Do not despare. There is time. Be honest with yourself and with others and it will happen.

0

@Adrielbass I noticed you are a teacher, so am I. Have you had any issues when students ask you about your beliefs? I had a situation once when a throwaway comment of mine apprently offended a religious student and caused a diciplinary hearing at my work ( I have since 'happily' left the institution). The reason I ask is I'm in the UK a very secular country by comparison to the US. It must be hard to be yourself always wearing a 'mask' as it were.

Anyone else had a similar experience ??

0

I have been single most of my 66 years on this planet. It was when I was 53 when I found my "soul mate." I have made friends across the globe on FB and now this web site. I belong to my political association and the local American Atheist group. I am sure you will find people to share your story with. Just stop looking and it will find you.

0

I've always been surrounded by loving family, pets, friends, had a busy, happy life, but at the pit of my being I've always felt alone. Even when I was married, and raising kids, attending church and going along with conventional beliefs. In my case, finding out I'm partially transmale in 2014 was the first step to stopping the loneliness. When I acknowledged my male side, named him, and allowed myself to be partly male, I started feeling better. But later I discovered that taking the Thai herb derris scandens blended my two gender modes, got rid of dysphoria, and most of the loneliness, because I accepted both sides of myself.

0

Go to church with your friends. I go

How do people react to you when you go, does your lack of belief ever come up?

@pictomaniac It does come up, and when it does I tell them I'm here for different reasons, and that usually ends it, but if they inquire further, I will say, I'm not convinced there is a God.

Interesting, I think that may be atypical for most religious communites though. Its something I've considered doing but I don't think I could keep my mouth shut and I have a tendency to get a bit 'militant' with my points. Anyway thanks for sharing 😉

I find myself unable to set foot in a church unless it's a funeral or marriage. What the members did to me when I came out as gay was despicable. But I grew from it and found how these people really are..

0

Shouldn't your loneliness be your problem alone?

0

Noyou're not. We all get lonely. Reach out to Meetups.com for new social contacts

0

I have never in my 69 + years felt so alone as when living with my (now ex) husband. Another person "around" means Nothing!

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